|Reviews for Somewhen and somewhere in New York|
| Guest chapter 21 . 6/24/2013
Jumping back from Newport to NY. I don't know what this will do to what already happened in Newport and what's still coming, but I hope you don't change what Ryan's got to deal with or how sick he is and how Sandy's done nothing. The one visit to the doctor sounds like more of a rush just so Sandy could have the answer he wanted, not a real exam to really check Ryan or look for anything to be concerned about and watch. A big part of the drama with everyone, starting with Ryan and Sandy has been how self-centered, detached and completely cold and uncaring he's been to Ryan. What makes it worse is how he can do that to any kid, but especially a kid who's faced serious illness so long, has been close to death and has also lost his mom. Changing things again with Ryan's medical situation and how it affects everything would change the whole story and all of the dynamics that have lots of promise. Would anyone really stand up or intervene for Ryan if it wasn't absolutely necessary and they weren't disgusted or angry or sad by how Sandy had been acting as they learn more of the truth? If it becomes a story about Sandy thinking that Ryan's upset about moving without being told, it loses a powerful, emotional punch and Ryan might be upset and have a reason to be, but he's also used to not having things the way he'd like. This would be one more time. He's always had much bigger problems.
Thanks for writing more here, but I'll wait to see what you might tweak from the recent chapter or so of Newport to put it all together.
| Guest chapter 21 . 6/24/2013
I am intrigued to see where this goes in the revised Newport story...
| justvisiting chapter 21 . 6/24/2013
I came to check the next story's status. Surprise. Does this mean that you're taking out the last chapter of Newport Beach or changing anything that mentions Ryan not going to the doctors before the unexpected move that Sandy sprung on him? It would totally make sense that he knows that Sandy, or nobody that we'e seen, really cares if he lives or dies. Seth made it clear. Sandy hasn't just shown it with how he's left Ryan alone in the hospital and never tried to hide how little he cared (did that have doctors, nurses and staff gossiping and alarmed), and he said so to Ryan more than once. Nice. Ryan has to be exhausted and discouraged and scared and terribly alone, believing he doesn't matter, but I also think that he's fought too long and too hard to give up or give Sandy, Seth and anyone else the satisfaction of choosing to do what they seem to want. He might be suffering in silence and know that there's plenty wrong going on inside of him and all around him. He'd know better than anyone when things are very wrong before a doctor would find anything. He can't miss all of the nasty emotions and events around him.
So sad that Sandy just wants to get to Newport and Kirsten and not be stuck with Ryan dragging him down or messing up his plans and his life. I have a feeling that's how he looks at Ryan, so someone had better be able to help by the time Ryan's in the hospital and Sandy has lots to answer for. I'd bet that he had the doctor just check the most obvious things to give himself guaranteed peace of mind and the answer he wanted. He wouldn't have wanted to risk that anyone would find anything. I'd also bet that the did nothing about new doctors ready, waiting, and up to speed about Ryan in Newport. It would be the last thing on his mind.
What's up with Nana? Is this Sandy's mother, so she's not related to Ryan? Is it Ryan's mother's mother? Does he have any kind of real relationship with her so that she might care about him, even a little? He has no one unless Rose or Caleb really do decide to become involved and not just be polite.
I guess I'm wondering if this is the end of this story (again) and now you're back to the point where Ryan went to the hospital at the restaurant, but the background's different. Maybe that opens the door for doctors there to step in and also have relationships with Ryan and maybe with the Nichols if they already know them.
Glad that you're writing again. Thanks for updating.
| no name chapter 21 . 6/23/2013
I wasn't expecting to see more of this story again, but thanks for your A/N. I hope you don't think that you have to scrap the sequel and start again. It looks like there are many readers who've been following along. For everyone who comments, there have to be plenty more. The only parts that I thought couldn't be possible and work at all were the way you wrote Ryan stopping treatment, something illegal here. Even if a parent or appointed guardian made that choice either because of a religious belief or wanting to use alternative medicine, there would be a legal fight and someone probably appointed by a court on Ryan's behalf unless he was clearly terminal. He would be given his chance to have input along with an adult, but doctors would have to report anyone who refused or stopped treatment with no explanation, especially when it's someone like Ryan who's been receiving this kind of care for... what, more than half of his life? It's not as if the doctors all weren't aware of what he'd already had to go through and they should know his family situation. If you just take out and redo any mention of Ryan suddenly not going to appointments out of the blue and no one making Sandy do at least the minimum, the rest of the story has a good foundation. After reading this, with Sandy telling Ryan that "I won't stop you" very angrily and cruelly when Ryan says that his mistake is being sick and still surviving, Sandy is really saying in words what all of his actions have said. Even any doctor's appointment wasn't out of concern for Ryan and his health. That was just so Sandy wouldn't have his plans ruined at the last minute. It's all about him and what he wants and wants now. If he's stuck dragging Ryan, he can't have him so sick that he can't travel.
It's very clear that Ryan isn't feeling well and knows that something's up, even if the doctor supposedly didn't find that cancer had retuned, or at least not the same in the same place. It also sounds like a very rushed kind of casual exam just so Sandy could have his way. That could easily mean that the doctor didn't look too hard besides checking up on Ryan's condition after the latest surgery, but not beyond that. Maybe he thought that the same team would be able to monitor Ryan, not knowing what Sandy was really up to. Sandy can't be thinking beyond getting to Newport and then just not thinking about Ryan again. He can neglect him and his health in a new place. Only the address and scenery will change. I doubt that Sandy has done anything to have new doctors selected and prepared for Ryan. His whole attitude and his comments are the opposite of that. It would be up to Rose again and maybe even the improved Caleb to notice the things Sandy ignores or notice Ryan at all. He only paid any attention so that he could basically tell Ryan to not look so sick that strangers would stop and stare or that Sandy would be stuck in NY. The relationships are at the center of the story, but the center of the lack of relationship between Ryan and Sandy is about how sick Ryan is and has been. It's connected just like Sandy's open neglect and insensitivity. Anyone who's supposed to be at least standing in as a parent and is as reckless, selfish and hurtful as Sandy is has to eventually pay a price and someone has to call him on that. It's also a chance for conflict and new relationships with someone like Rose or Caleb or anyone else who might become involved and how that changes things.
Thanks for more here and I'll watch for another update in the Newport version. Maybe it will be starting again differently with Ryan in the hospital there after finally collapsing? That way, you can keep the good going and build on it and cut out what caused problems. Good luck with any editing and I hope you don't have to change much except the last 2 chapters. You've got a great story going and lots to explore with new characters added too, and they're not blinded the way Sandy and Kirsten are. Maybe they're older or just wiser? I doubt Ryan will ever be able to heal emotionally, not after so many years. I hope that even with the constant battles for remission, not being cured, that he's not facing a situation where even remission isn't possible. He already has to face being sick alone and knows that no one cares, not about the outcome, how much he suffers, or how he feels. That's about as lonely as it gets and a definite message that he's a burden. Life will go on without him, and it's almost as if the others are just waiting for it to happen, completely ignoring what it means for Ryan.
| Guest chapter 21 . 4/1/2013
une suite site plait
| game-on chapter 21 . 3/31/2013
Are you sure that Seth and Sandy aren't related or maybe the same age, as in back in kindergarten? That very self-absorbed MO is something they have in common besides physical traits. It's almost eerie.
I don't expect much positive from Seth unless he ever grows up maybe by age 30, but whatever Sandy's problem is can't be excused. If he had ongoing issues with Ryan's mother, those were between the 2 adults. Making Ryan the innocent target when he's already the victim of circumstances beyond his control only emphasizes how little Sandy thinks of anyone besides himself. If he honestly doesn't want to be saddled with Ryan and regrets having him around, then he should stop punishing a kid who has no choice and too much to contend with. Someone with any decency would try to find someone to support and care for Ryan if he wouldn't. If you wanted me to stick pins in a Sandy doll now, you did it! If I felt horrible about Ryan's predicament before, it's even worse. It sounds like he knows that his condition is getting worse, but has no one to turn to, something that's been made crystal clear.
Thanks for the Easter gift, I think. Ouch.
| anonymous chapter 19 . 3/17/2013
Ryan couldn't be more the opposite of Seth, and not just in looks. Selfless and self-sacrificing compared to self-absorbed. Only someone so focused on himself would make the leap about Ryan being a threat and assuming what Seth does about Ryan being the center of the universe. Not only does Seth want/need that status, but he doesn't want anyone even close for competition and yet he contradicts himself and wants some kind of friendship with Ryan. I guess that means in the short term until Ryan's too sick again, or dead like Seth predicted, has worn out his welcome and purpose, or it's all on Seth's terms.
I was really glad to have some of Ryan's perspective and a look at some of his story instead of skimming anything about Seth. I'm a little lost about time and how long Ryan was in the hospital, how long he was home before going back to school, if he was left alone all day or longer, how much pain he was in and how sick, even on the days without chemo or radiation. He had to be very weak and miserable and lonely in that isolation. His only contact would be a father who doesn't seem to want him, to be around him, or know what to do around him or care enough to try. He has other priorities. Even if a kid wouldn't notice, another parent should be calling him out on it.
I definitely feel sorry for Ryan having to go it alone, having no answers about his health or his personal situation. He has to feel like he doesn't belong anywhere. If anyone ever needed someone to talk to and take care of him with no strings, it's him. He's like the poster child for needing a hug or a few thousand.
I'd like to read flashbacks to get an idea of how things went from bad to worse and past to present, although I'm sure it won't be pretty.
| no name chapter 19 . 3/12/2013
Seth is so Seth, which isn't a good thing as far as I'm concerned. He can't get over himself and his very mistaken take on things. If he had noticed anything by now, it might have been that Ryan's not getting everyone's attention and being showered with concern and hovered over. Sandy left him in the hospital after very serious surgery suffering from a serious illness for how many days while he was often with Kirsten and Seth? It doesn't add up. Another contradiction is that Seth wants his friend back, but he wasn't a friend to Ryan, although he used him until it wasn't to his advantage. Besides, why be friends with someone dying and who would take attention away from you? Confusing.
I'm glad that you're thinking about flashbacks to fill in gaps and give a better idea of what things were like in Ryan's life when his mother was still alive. She couldn't have been killed at a worse time for him. It's hard to even imagine what he has to be going through with being sick, chemo, radiation, all of the side effects, and then facing and recovering from surgery. It sounds like a daily battle and juggling act that he's had to face alone. I'm not surprised, but disappointed that Sandy has failed to be someone who could put his son first, something a father should do, especially when there's only one parent and the kid has been hurt so much and is struggling with so many issues. It sounds like Ryan is more isolated and alone than ever, yet somehow puts others first, including his father. He wants more for Sandy, no matter what that means for him. What really hit me was how openly he talked about dying, and not just "some day." He's been looking down the barrel of that gun for years and has to be scared. Hearing it from Seth and watching how his father has behaved has to reinforce his fears.
Interesting that Kirsten has more perspective now. Is it from being away from Sandy and reflecting on what she saw from him or what she heard that night from him and Seth? I don't see Ryan making it too easy for Seth, not that he's punishing him, but because he has to take care of himself. No one else will, and he's been hurt too much already. Does he even have the time or energy to figure it all out if he could trust someone who hadn't done exactly what he'd dreaded? I don't know how he even gets through school with all the time he's missed and his cycle of treatments now. He's got such different priorities than kids his age or most adults.
| game-on chapter 19 . 3/10/2013
Another overdose of Seth, but I guess anytime I'm reading Seth I feel that way.
I really feel for Ryan. He sure isn't the center of attention in anyone's world or relationship. He's a second thought in his own home and maybe that in Sandy's life on a good day. Any father who would spend more time pursuing a girlfriend and being with her and her son at their apartment than supporting his own critically ill motherless son especially while he was recovering from major surgery in the hospital has zero priorities beyond himself. Those are his true spots and I don't know what could change them if Ryan's health crisis that's gone on for so many years in his short life and Sandy's wife's death didn't. If Seth thinks that Ryan would be getting all of the attention, he's sadly mistaken. That's never been Ryan's life, not even when he needed it most.
I think buying a clue would be an understatement. There are things someone can say that can be pretty easily forgiven is thoughtless or careless, but what Seth did and then said was calculated, the height of insensitive and just cruel. He's old enough and smart enough to know far better, but far too self-absorbed to ever consider something close to anyone's POV besides his own until it works to his advantage. A sad commentary on immaturity and selfishness and any attempt 2 months later, really, 2 months, to say something differently is way too little and much too late.
How has Ryan been handling all of his daily struggles with post-op care, all of the medications, his latest round of chemo and radiation after the surgery and all of the physical and emotional costs of that cycle? It's beyond disappointing that Sandy doesn't seem to have changed at all and has left Ryan to his own devices still so lost, confused, resigned that he can't possibly have long to survive (but still willing to make any sacrifices so that Sandy can be happy even if Ryan is hurting) and no idea how to deal with it. Kirsten seems to have gained a little bit of maternal and adult perspective. I wonder where it was hiding before?
Thanks for your author's note to think about and for the update.
| anonymous chapter 18 . 2/18/2013
Very glad to see an update and especially that Ryan's back. Just reading about what he has to deal with is heartbreaking. It had to take a lot of courage for him to confront Sandy and ask the questions that he did knowing how much any answers or change of topic being brushed aside would hurt. Ryan can't be in a very good place just out of the hospital after that kind of surgery and chemo. Feeling that awful and being in pain would be bad enough if he didn't feel alone and neglected and abandoned in favor of someone else. When Sandy forces him to go to Kirsten's, it had to make Ryan think that he cared more about her and himself than Ryan. When Sandy didn't even try to interrupt Seth or stand up for Ryan, who had to be stricken, he had to think that Sandy knows that he's dying and is already moving on. It would only be natural that Ryan would miss his mother anyway, but especially now. He's desperate for comfort and attention given willingly and selflessly. For someone who is so accepting and who never makes demands, he has to wonder just what he's done to deserve this, other than being born and getting sick. You really make his isolation and sadness feel real. I really hope that someone shows up who will support him like you say.
Lots of lessons to be learned. Seth might be upset, but he needs to learn some big ones. If Kirsten is going to teach him, someone has to teach her. Someone really has to teach Sandy, and fast. It had to be impossible to ignore his lack of reaction, or how he reacted so wrongly. Kirsten might not have any attachment to Ryan, but I hope she's starting to see that things aren't right.
Thanks for writing.
| ocgirl.fr chapter 18 . 2/20/2013
Ooh boy, what a depressing chapter ! :(
As usual, as the story progresses, as frustrated I get with Sandy, I mean ... can't he open his eyes and protect his own kid instead of a brat ...
I'm glad Kirsten tried to step it up though.
I wish we had some kind of flashback between Ryan and his Mom, it's really heartbreaking how much he misses her.
Also, I really like your plan. I hope Ryan will follow through his dreams and apply to Juliard, even without his father's approval.
Lastly, is Ryan supposed to be out of the woods now? I'm a bit confused.
Cheers (please post up some more soon ;) )
| no name chapter 18 . 2/17/2013
Thanks for the intro to fill in some blanks without giving too much away. Whether you continue with this story or end it, and where and how could be a prob maybe, is your call. I guess you might have to make it clear that any new story is a continuation, but then that defeats the whole purpose of ending it, doesn't it? Anyone who's watching for updates could be confused. I guess the story either way is what matters.
Ryan's suddenly much more outspoken with Sandy, but maybe that's because he's so hurt by his behavior (neglect) and selfish choices? Most parents at least try to put their kids first whatever their own personal life is like, especially a seriously sick kid in the hospital with an uncertain future and no mother.
Ryan had his thyroid out? That really is major surgery and he had it done while he's this sick too. He would have been in bad shape and unless he's been in the hospital for a while, he'd be hurting, exhausted, weak and miserable and taking a pharmacy. He'd also have one nasty scar at the base of his neck. Poor kid. More chemo on top of it would be brutal. More father of the year points for Sandy for dragging Ryan out and to Kirsten's place so he can have what he wants and send a clear message of who is important to him and where he wants to be.
I should have been surprised and disappointed by that and that he didn't intervene during Seth's tirade of how Ryan was dying, but I almost expected it. At least Kirsten snapped out of it enough to have him go after Ryan and realize that she has work to do with everyone, starting with Seth. Maybe she's starting to see things more clearly and wonder what kind of person Sandy is when he didn't react, comfort Ryan or even silently urge her as Seth's mother to speak up before he did? I don't know if she was just being polite when she first saw Ryan again, but that was a big change from before. Either she recognizes that it's the decent thing to do, cares enough about Sandy to do something for Ryan in front of Sandy, or she knows she hasn't acted like a parent or adult thinking about anyone but herself and her son.
Heartbreaking at the end with Ryan so alone, but I guess he's been alone since his mother died and in the middle of the family mess his whole life. That tidbit about how his mother became pregnant raises questions. Does he feel like Sandy ever wanted him at all and is stuck with him? I agree that it feels like Sandy's been erasing Ryan's mother and Ryan sure needs someone, even if it's in memory, to cling to for some kind of comfort. It's painful to think that he can't plan for a future. That's the sort of thing that his doctors would want him to focus on as part of coping and recovering.
Thanks for writing again.
| game-on chapter 17 . 1/31/2013
Seth's been reading too many comics too long. After a couple of sentences about him and his POV, I'm ready for something else. Sorry, but them's the facts.
How's Ryan coping or isn't he? Still stuck maybe close to death in the hospital? What's that been like for him without help? It's all been so vague and has lots of opportunities to explore. Could you maybe tell more about that and slow down with details? It's like there's more about the little things and almost nothing about the major. It's hard to think of a seriously sick kid whose life's been falling apart as the part that should be forgotten or a side note.
I don't know how Sandy can go back to fix the damage he's caused and added to for years, but going ahead with Kirsten and her family and their life sounds like it has to be without Ryan by now. Decision made and actions speak louder than words and all of that. Sad to see Sandy's choice, but I guess he made it a long time ago. He just didn't expect his wife to die before the time was right for him. Back to the questions above! Quite the mess.
Thanks for the new chapters.
| ocgirl.fr chapter 17 . 2/1/2013
Ooooh, you are evil !
How dare you, a cliffhanger !
I hope you won't let us hang around for too long :(
Hope we get some Ryan time too :)
| Teejays chapter 17 . 1/29/2013
I'm feeling very sorry for very alone, very sick, very uncertain Ryan. If I've got it right, he has no mother or father either the way Sandy's decided to be, doesn't know if he belongs anywhere with anyone who cares at all and doesn't know if he'll live or die or if anyone will notice. About as bad as it gets. If Sandy has his way and ends up with Kirsten and Seth, is there someone to rescue Ryan? It sounds like Sandy's made his choice and Kirsten is on board too, but not with Ryan in the picture. She's not taking on a kid who's not her own and she made her feelings very clear about Ryan, even if being sick isn't his fault. If she wanted to pretend to care, she would have visited him and asked why Sandy wasn't. Sounds like she's glad that she won. Back to who's going to step up for Ryan while Sandy sails off into the sunset and his new life that Ryan's being erased from, almost like he's being erased from the story. Disappointing parallels.