|Reviews for For Granted|
| gabelou1991 chapter 1 . 7/16
| Borderlined Innocence chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
Awesome, I kinda got lost on the separated paragraphs though, and you should've put more background on the mother/son problem, but I enjoyed it! keep it up Randy!
| LadyLaide chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
I never reviewed this did I?
I really appreciate this gesture Randy 8D totally. It shows you care and you understand.
Just an awesome story on the whole :P I loved how Gohan did what it took to get the town he loved so much better and then to even get the smallest bit of gratification in the end with that little kid, was just heart warming. I felt like I could relate to Gohan in that single moment where he just didn't know what to say.
You really did nail this in so many ways. Spacing was awkward at times, but when you love a story, what can you do.
Thank you again. 3
| gue22 chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
aww geesh ray-beam, you really didnt have to do this.
i know everyone wont get it, but thats okay, dont worry i hear you loud and clear - thanks :D
The writing in itself, there was a lot of 'Satan City' repetition that could have benefited from the use of a pronoun from time to time. A few missed words her and here that changed the meaning of a sentece, but nothing a beta job cant fix. In describing Gohan's discouraged state when entering the park, a bit more detail on body language, e.g. slumped shoulders, kicking dirt with his feet, lame things like that sometimes helps the reader identify with his mood or state of mind better.
But anyway, ray-beam, thanks a ton for being our flying orange ball :D
| Kakarot Son chapter 1 . 3/17/2012
Not half bad.
The use of metaphor was funny :P