|Reviews for Red River: Sounds of Time|
| SilverWolf369 chapter 1 . 7/6/2013
| H chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
Update u lazy bum!
| LobsterSalad chapter 1 . 3/28/2012
It's "prophecy", not "prophcy". "Jitters", not "gitters. You don't need to capitalise "blonde". There's a lot of spelling errors, so you might want to proofread this or at least use spellcheck. "Hittite Capital City" is incorrect, "Hittite EMPIRE's capital city", or just "Hattusa" is fine. "Capital City" isn't an actual city name, no matter if it's 3000 years.
And I'm thinking that Yue is a Mary Sue. I mean, she's attractive, she's smart, she's a good swimmer, she can understand Hittite, she doesn't seem freaked out by being transported back thousands of years, she seems to have a tragic past, AND she has a special ability with sounds and words. In other words, Yue is a flat character who's amazing and without flaws except for maybe a bad temper. However, a lot of official characters are also "Mary Sue" like creatures, it's just that fanon OCs get bashed more. Still, I would reconsider the character design of Yue (which is a Chinese name, as opposed to her Japanese surname).
ALSO, that necklace? Seems pretty much like Yuri's old necklace, except with onyx instead of obsidian.
It's not that I have anything personal against you, I don't even know you, it's just me pointing out some problems I see. Or seem to see, anyway. I guess you can ignore this, and there'll still be readers who'll go "Oh awesome! plz update, I need moar!" but this is my opinion.