|Reviews for Never Had The Chance|
| beszt95 chapter 1 . 9/1/2016
THIS WAS SO SAD AND I WAS LISTENING TO DEPRESSING MUSIC TOO WHILE IT PLAYED IM LIKE CRYING RN
| ilvbrownies chapter 1 . 9/5/2015
Well, that was certainly more macabre and grotesque than I imagined. I was thinking this story was going to be just a worsened version of their argument
| Okami50789 chapter 1 . 9/29/2014
this... this... THIS story ripped into my heart, even though Jewel is my favourite character, the way Blu died is verry upsetting, sad, gruesome, and heart breaking, Only YOU can make me feel this way. it may be sad, and made me cry, but alternet endings are interesting to read. I can feel Blu's pain, Jewel's heart breaking, and how Luiz feels. And the way how you made Blu die/pass-out before saying "I love you" was... was... You know what, i can't explain it, Its just that sad,
Keep writing, and never let Angry comments pull you down. You are the best author in MY OPINION -stares at that guy over there-, and theres no changin' that.
| Nam Chu chapter 1 . 9/6/2014
I really don't know what I should write here but I want to tell you that this story is... in my opinion..horrible in content and yet wonderful in the way you tell this story.
And English is not my native language so at the first time i read this story, i barely understood what you want me to know, but next time I read it, it did make me cry and i can't help but let my tears ran down.
To be honest, I have never read such an heart-broken story like this one. You did succeed in stealing my joyful mood and replaced it by sorrow and loneliness.
Congratulation on the wonderful story and I considered it is the best story I've ever read
Sorry if English is bad, i know it's bad but I just want you to know what I'm thinking.
| DracoKX chapter 1 . 3/30/2014
That was, uh, well, welcome to PG-13 land
| Xerion chapter 1 . 10/6/2013
This story was like..dang..Did NOT see this coming..I wonder how Luiz will handle basically being a Murderer..that REALLY would suck..Anywho...Good Job man.. :D
| Itzmeall chapter 1 . 10/29/2012
Too...sad...im going to cry...what's next of the chapter...did he just revive again?
| Kraft58 chapter 1 . 5/16/2012
My heart is broken. I can't believe Blu went like that. He never ever got the chance to say it, though I think Jewel somehow knew what he was going to say.
This story left a lasting impression on me. I wonder how things would go for Jewel now? I kind of like to think she would be the care taker to Blu's grave. So she could always be near him for the rest of her life.
Now that the sad opening to the review is over, I should tell you that wow, this was an amazing story. I love how you managed to take 2 very simple scenes in the movie, and make them into your own creation. Not many writers could do that as well as you did, you've definately got some insane talent.
| J.M.Wikiwuki chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
I'm so sorry it has taken me this long to review your story. I've been what is a mixture of busy and lazy.
This story was great. It took a scene from the movie, and explained what could have been a very real outcome; a bird hitting a table saw wouldn't be pretty. The grotesque surreality of the story is what made it good. And it makes me see the potential violence in many of the supposedly "family friendly" films today.
Basically, this is a great story, and I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for any more of your works.
| holospartoi258 - Alpha 01 chapter 1 . 3/21/2012
Rapture. I know that you've praised me to no end before, and we've both acknowledged that we were on par with writing excellency. But this story. This very story you have written here just proves me that I can't compete with you anymore. I really can't. I spent so long on 'Till it do us part' and yet it can't compare with this.
I never thought it was possible to blend gore and raw emotion together to create something so emotionally impacting and heart-wrenching. To recreate one of the most comical yet hair's-breadth-close-to-danger scenes in Rio and turning it into something so much more shocking- I have to give credit to you. What I did in Love? now seems pathetic to this, really. The beginning, I'll admit, was a little out of place, and you could've skipped the whole tram scene entirely, but that's minor. The saw scene... oh wow. Oh wow oh wow. I didn't know it was humanly possible for that to occur. The way you twisted the whole thing to make it look like Jewel was the one in danger, and then the twist... I really almost couldn't take it. Really.
What ensued after that was pure emotion. You could've expounded a little more on Jewel's initial feelings towards Blu and stuff like that, but I don't care. It's way too overwhelming, her whole thoughts about him and stuff. You really have a knack of killing Blu off don't you? Ah well. How one single incident, one simple thing just sparked a slew of dastardly events. Seriously I've never seen such drama packed into 9.5K words just like that before. It's morbid. It's so overwhelming.
I... I think I lay my crown, if I had one in the first place, to you RAS. Please, continue the legacy to prove our fandom has some form of hope, and don't stop writing these stories. Take care.
| eagle23 chapter 1 . 3/19/2012
So is that it or will Blu come back from the dead because no offense but thats a sad ending
| BluJet The MacawHawk chapter 1 . 3/19/2012
*sniff*, this story is heartbreaking when Blu died :'(, you have great writing talent.
| WordSPark37 chapter 1 . 3/19/2012
Honestly, how I'm still functioning right now after THAT, I'll never know. Be that as it may, I'll do my best to write a legible, comprehensible, and reasonable review.
Starting off with the events in the movie, as have many other fanfics, and quoting dialogue straight from the movie (ditto), was a very effective move, and done quite well. In fact, it was done in a way that wasn't boring, or tedious, nor did it have me thinking "Dear God, I've already seen the movie, I remember, get on with it!". The effect was the opposite, and had me hooked from the start. The added details in first person were a brilliant touch, and showing what the characters felt throughout this time was simply magnificent. It once again proved that the written word can express so much more than what a simply audiovisual masterpiece can. In this story, I believe that the way you managed to meld story events with your own original, yet believable, narration, more than makes up for the direct movie quoting or whatever those kids are calling it these days. Bravo on that.
And then comes the twist. Oh and what a twist it was, in more than one way. I swear, despite the fact that the title should have given me a tremendous hint, I just couldn't stop reading, I couldn't have possibly guessed, even though deep inside of my subconscious I knew what was coming. And here come the spoilers, for those who read the reviews before reading the story...
The amount of gore and detail given in this story does go a little above the norm, and the impact and strength of it was shocking enough to render me useless (And I've read Happy Birthday!, so that's really saying something!) By the time I'd reached this point of no return, I couldn't respond beyond the occassional click to scroll down, and I continued reading, rarely blinking, until there were no more words left to read.
Like I've said, the careful balance between gore and emotion, the sheer simplicity of its narration coupled with its powerful content, make it yet another masterpiece by one of the community's top contributors. A very wise man once said that an artist could only reach perfection not when there was nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. This story proves that point in showing that a simple oneshot can in fact be more powerful that an epic novel in more ways than one.
I am only saddened by the fact that this will not be included in the Jesses, even though it most certainly deserves a spot in several categories, and by the fact that this looks to be one of the last few masterpieces in this community, what with all the great authors retiring. I shall do my best to seek the inspiration that left me, but meanwhile, I beg that you continue writing and battling the shoddy writers that plague the website with such wonderful prose.
By the by, possibly my last review,
Your Humble Writer,
| therobotchicken chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
Let me start off by saying that the beginning of this had me thinking, "Oh, so he's basically showing what happened in between scenes. I guess that's cool. But really, how long will this keep my interest?" But then I got to the interesting part and couldn't stop reading. (I kinda knew what would happen, but I just had to know if I was right.) I was pleasantly surprised by the twist to say the least. Really, this was a really good "what if?" idea.
So anyway, this was very well-written; no surprise there. The amount of detail was just right. You managed to get the point across without oversaturating it with needless detail. The dialogue was also very believable and flowed smoothly. You also managed to keep the fact that most of this was in first-person realistic. By this, I mean, you didn't forget what you were doing and accidentally make whoever was narrating omnicient. You didn't have them describe things they should have had no idea about, just what they could know.
I've already pointed out all the mistakes that caught my attention, so I can't criticize anything in that category!
On a side note, I found the idea of showing what happened in between scenes interesting. Makes me wonder what an entire fic centered around that idea would be like...
Sorry this review is so short, but I honestly don't have much else to say, since there's pretty much nothing I can see to criticize.
| Ol Alex - important update chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
Oh my! I know I've seen Blu in a gruesome state (Happy Birthday), but this is really sad. They were supposed to be together, when suddenly- well, you know what happened.
All-in-all, this is a very nice one-shot. And the lines were accurate to the movie. A job well done, good 'ol Rapture At Sea. Keep it up. :D
-Alex Eisenhower: Eagle of USA