|Reviews for Space|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/27/2012
I thought this story was alright. I don't like Robin as a character all that much though, which might have clouded my enjoyment. I like that it is simple and not overly plot-crowded, although I'm not entirely sure about the characterization. Robin seems to me more like she would relish in being crowded by the Strawhats, and I feel like any need for solitude would be met with reading in a quiet place. Surely the Thousand Sunny is large enough that she could find a spot to sit and immerse herself in centuries old history?
You said in the summary that you would like corrections on your English, so I'll list what I saw. These might seem kind of nit-picky, your English really is very good (especially considering this is a casual setting where many who post completely throw all grammar, spelling, and vocabulary to the wind), but if you are really trying to improve grammar then these are things that matter.
4th paragraph: In the phrase "paying to the man" you don't need the preposition, it should just be "paying the man."
5th paragraph: This is not an incorrect use of the word, but I feel like when you say "it was bothered by the smells" bothered feels a bit odd. Not necessarily incorrect, it just might be a little odd when you are referring to scents.
12th paragraph: When Robin says "caused uproar" there should be an indefinite article before the word uproar. Also in that paragraph, your comma should fall inside the quotation marks. (Or at-least that is what I was taught. I know that some rules regarding quotes vary from one English speaking country to another.)
Last paragraph: You forgot the ending period.
Also, in general, there is a tendency toward run-on sentences, which is the most common grammatical mistake made by native English speakers (or at least that's what my high school teachers always told me.) No spelling mistakes jumped out at me, but I am dyslexic so they don't always.
Sorry again if this seems to be too picky, especially since my grammar is probably rather sloppy in this.
I would log in, but I can't access my account right now. Thus, I will just sign,
| Blue Talon 1337 chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
I really like this. You should make more for each straw hats.