|Reviews for When the World Comes Crashing Down|
| JustLu chapter 1 . 4/10/2012
Excellent! I really, really liked it! Well written and strangely haunting for such a short story! I can almost see it in my head! Good job! :)
| avatarluv97 chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
Poor Remus... That was beautifully written. Absolutely wonderful work. :D
| the sailor's wife chapter 1 . 4/4/2012
this is haunting - I'd never even considered what that moment must have been like for Remus... you captured it, though. what a terrible feeling :( but an excellent story!
| Satan Abraham chapter 1 . 4/2/2012
Aww, poor Remus. :(
| MissingMommy chapter 1 . 3/21/2012
It must have been hard for Remus to realize that he was completely alone after James and Lily were killed, Peter faked his own murder and Sirius was taken to Azkaban (sp?).
The way that you contrasted how Sirius was in Hogwarts to how a traitor is wonderful; it's kinda of like Remus had a moment of doubt that Sirius did it. Then you add in, "But he was their secret keeper, and Lily and James are dead. There's no other way it could have happened but betrayal" and it adds the fact that Remus knows that it was a betrayal, but he's wrong in who it was. Which is sad.
My favorite line was "The world shouldn't look fine when it just came crashing down" because it describes everything perfectly. In one night Remus' live got turned upside down.
I would like to add that the thinking was a genious way to get around only being allowed to have a one word diagolue. Which I think you worked in well.
Overall, lovely. I really enjoyed it.
| Mr Bellatrix Lestrange chapter 1 . 3/21/2012
I image that this would be his exact reaction, because although our Remmy loves Sirius, he's a big boy and knows how to handle himself and pull himself together. Do you think this would be almost exactly like his reaction after Sirius died, or much more angsty?
| Selenehekate chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
Oh, wow! This is rather dark and sad, and I absolutely love it! I love hearing the inner thoughts of Remus as he hears the news that James and Lily are dead, and that - more importantly - Sirius is the one that murdered them. The last four lines especially highlight those feelings of doubt and horror and inability to deal with the news that his best friend betrayed him.
Your piece made me feel so awful for Remus! Poor thing, losing all of his friends at once (the death of James, Lily, and Peter; the betrayal of Sirius)... He must feel completely alone. I think that you did a great job of characterizing Remus, and I love your oneshot. Great job!
| lella7 chapter 1 . 3/19/2012
This is very well written. It's so sad the way Remus suddenly loses all his best friends and I loved the way you conveyed his shock and disbelief at the news that Sirius is a traitor. Your one word of dialogue seemed a little forced in though, so perhaps you could've made it flow better into the rest of the piece. However, your description of his emotions was perfect and felt very realistic. Good job :)
| ReillyJade chapter 1 . 3/18/2012
This is great!
I never really stopped to think about how Remus must've felt immediately after learning of Sirius' imprisonment/alleged betrayal, but this seems like a pretty accurate telling. I imagine he felt pretty betrayed himself; I certainly would.
I know Sirius doesn't die in this, but his sentence to life in prison probably feels like the death of a friend to Remus. Therefore, I really enjoy the grief in this piece. (That sounded far more sadistic than I intended, haha.) What I mean is, I like how it isn't *just* anger or *just* shock that he's feeling. He's actually experiencing all five stages of grief in this piece - and at an alarmingly fast rate, too - and I think that's realistic for sudden, unexpected bad news as extreme as this. Especially since, as you pointed out, he's the last Marauder and now he's all alone. That's such an important piece of his character and is a nice way to foreshadow why he's somewhat of a recluse once POA rolls around.
All in all, another beautifully written story from you! Well done! :)