|Reviews for Pink hair|
| E d e n chapter 1 . 3/23/2012
The only 'critical' thing that I see that could need some work on is the format. Easily enough, I think. It's too crowded and 'blocky' which can intimidate most readers away. But the content & your style made me stay and persevere.
And persevere I did.
I think it was worth it. I like how you made parallels with this world's Sakura to the one in the actual series. How at age 12-13, she was an insecure girl (and surprisingly, you said nothing about her forehead, but her hair, which makes quite a diff. I think) & then as she becomes older, there's an obvious change. And you even included the 'cutting the hair' part. Though, I think the gang-attack was a bit random...if they were a group of angry girls, that's understandable, but guys?
And what's more is the development between Sasuke and her could've been more ... descriptive. Yes, they didn't fall in love at first sight or anything like that (thank god) & you even showed that slow build-up to holding actual conversations...but that was just all summed up into one paragraph. The only dialogue we got was when he told her off for the blonde hair & then near the end. So try including some snapshots of their interaction, and disperse it through-out the story. Also... while I know this is from Sakura's perspective & hence we don't get to see from Sasuke's side at all (which is fine&all) but at the very end, when he said he took a liking to her since the first time he saw her... while I'm sure that made all the romantics go Aww, that seems pretty out of character for him, especially when we didn't see any kind of signals on his part (and again, I know you were focusing on Sakura but if you want to add in romance, those are things you just have to keep in mind.)
So aside from those details, just spread your paragraphs out more, content /is/ important-yes but if I were to read a book with no periods, punctuation, etc- even their amazing story-telling can't keep me for long(not that your story had that problem, but.. you get what I'm saying).
| Miss Gendai Speaker chapter 1 . 3/23/2012
i loved the story so much! is it meant to be a oneshot? cuz you gotta make a second part!
| Life'sNotPerfect chapter 1 . 3/21/2012
:) great story
i liked it very much
i didn't enjoy the ending... because he goes to jail
but anyway they're together and that's what matters
| Ur worst nightmare452 chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
Awesome story it's really cute keep up the good work! :)
| itachisgirl347 chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
Wow! I love this oneshot! It's like really fuckin' good!
I'm aboutta go check out that story you mentioned too!
So you'll owe me five reviews when I get something written!
| sasukestays chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
Oh my goodness(: You are such an angel. I didn't think you were serious when you'd try to promote my story for me- I am so unbelievably touched that it means that much to you. And I can assure you that it will be finished- I just want to thank you so much for you faith in me! And for the motivation that your kind act has inspired. You are so wonderful33
Now! As far as your story- I am blown away. I love the way it reads- I adore the writing style that you used and I believe that it fit the flow of the story more than beyond perfectly. It is such a beautiful story.
I agree with the majority of your reviewers who are saying that you should add another chapter or two! Almost like this was a wonderful hook to introduce the audience to the theme of your whole story- I think that it could work magically!
It's brilliant as is, and it will be brilliant if added on to!
You're ridiculously talented! Best of luck!
| Little-bad-Angel chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
| raven rose 101 chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
Loved the story!
| crazy me chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
i love this story it very sad but is very beautyful too
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
Kaaa so cute!i wish you'd make a sequel of him out of prison :D
| DeadlyPriestess chapter 1 . 3/20/2012
Heyyy I loved this :) & poor Sakura :( & omg Sasuke really does love her since he went to jail for her, so sweet :D anyway I think you should make it a two or threeshot, you know just to show when he gets out & their together again & just hit things off & then they have their happy ending :) cos helloooo they both deserve that much :] anyways its really up to you though! Anyways I really hope you write another chapter just so they can have their happy ending hehe
| JT LUVS PUPPIES chapter 1 . 3/19/2012
OMG! I LOVE THIS STORY! It's amazing! So SWEET and CUTE and AWWWW. TOTALLY LOVE IT! 3