|Reviews for Arranged Marriages and Wars of State|
| riverripple chapter 20 . 2/22
OMGGGGGGG I luv this fanfic so much. PUCKABRINA ON ! :)
| CaleoRipple chapter 37 . 2/1
I love this story so much! This story made a rather disappointing sunday excellent. :)
| TheGingerAvenger chapter 41 . 1/31
(I’m just getting over the flu and am still a bit wonky so sorry if a lot of this doesn’t make any sense.)
This review is a bit on the long side, and I’m sorry if I ended up repeating some of what I may have already written in other reviews. And another thing, a lot of this- really the majority of it- is personal opinion, so do with it what you will.
First off the epilogue:
Oh my goodness, that sucks and I’m so glad you didn’t die. Both of those are understatements but seriously.
“He woke back up when someone stepped on his stomach and shrieked “Sabrina!” loud enough to wake the dead.” – Hahaha, that’s quite possibly the best way ever for Puck to meet Daphne.
I really liked this chapter. It had a calm and peaceful vibe to it, which was nice after the chaos in the last chapter. It was nice to have a winding down from the tension that was built up throughout the story. It fit the name of the title really well too. Overall a very good ending to a very good story.
Now for the entire story:
So, I think by now it’s probably obvious that I really really like this story, for quite a lot of reasons.
I know I’ve mentioned this a lot, but I love the world that you’ve created. Creating a whole new world feels like something fanfiction writers don’t usually pay that much attention to, even in AUs (at least, I haven’t read many that had as much detail as this story did), and I thought that put this story on a whole different level. I liked that you didn’t just throw in a few castles and call it a medieval setting but actually fleshed the world out and added a lot of intricate details. The amount of detail describing the layout of the areas and the different tradeskingdoms made it very easy to picture (I especially liked the idea with the Tracks), and it showed the amount of thought you put behind this, which is awesome.
I also loved all the tie-ins to the books you put in throughout the story, being able to pick out all the Easter eggs was fun. Especially since you managed to do it in a way where they fit into the story and didn’t stand out like sore thumbs. It was even cool rereading the story and picking up on some that I missed the first time around.
You did a great job with the characters. I liked how they were more mature in this story than they were in the books, but yet they weren’t completely different people. I think that you managed to capture their personalities really well. The way they acted was both believable for their age and their personalities. And I know I’ve said this before too, probably a lot, but thank you thank you thank you for making Daphne more mature.
Also all of the added quirks that you gave to each character, I liked those a lot. It’s been a while since I’ve read the books, but I don’t think they ever mention Puck being claustrophobic, and yet that’s something that I can see him suffering from. And him tapping when he gets nervous, and Sabrina walking on her tiptoes- they were all little details that fleshed the characters out more.
AND THEY DIDN’T STAY STAGNANT. THEY ACTUALLY GREW AND CHANGED THROUGHOUT THE STORY AND YAY FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IN FANFICTIONS
Not only did you do a good job on the characters, but I also think that your writing improved a lot. You did a good job of adding in more descriptions, not just with the setting, but with the characters. You described their actions when they were talking and how they moved and the little mannerisms they had a lot more. You also managed to have the tone of your writing fit the character that was narrating a particular chapter- which I think is really tricky. Daphne’s chapters tended to have a happier, more optimistic tone to them, Sabrina’s tended to have a more serious tone, and Puck’s was . . . well, very Puckish.
And I know I’ve written this before but I feel the need to repeat it because it makes me very happy, I liked how gradual Puck and Sabrina’s relationship was. It felt more fitting for their characters than the normal rush into romance route. It also felt more believable and it made all of the moments where they started to get along more exciting- at least for me.
In terms of critiques for this story, there’s not many that I can think of. The war did tend to take a backseat to the rest of the story, much so that sometimes I would forget there was a war going on until someone mentioned it, or we came to a Jonas POV moment. So the war didn’t feel like a big AH freak out kind of deal. Even during Jonas’ POV, it still felt like a thing that was going on in the background (if that made any sense). It could just be because there weren’t really any depictions of the fighting (except for the battle at the end) or the consequences of war like the destroyed buildings or people having to evacuate (expect for the bit at the end). That is understandable though, since most of the chapters are told from the point of view of characters who were away from the war doing things that were important to the story’s progression. And the war might not even have to be a big deal, it was just something I noticed.
There is one more thing that I’m hesitant to mention because I’m on the fence about it and it is a minor detail and purely personal taste, but the scene with Snow and Mirror and Daphne in the second to last chapter. I would have liked it if Daphne had done something. This is the guy who orchestrated the kidnapping of Daphne’s parents and threw her in prison, and I would have liked Daphne do something when confronting him instead of just be a passive observer to what was going on. And I now she doesn’t really know what’s going on or who this guy in the mirror is and that’s probably why she didn’t do anything. I’m just iffy on it. It felt like she was there only to narrate what was going on. But I loved when Snow punched Mirror. That made me very happy.
And just a random question, who was the “behind-the-scenes informant” that told Scarecrow all of this?
Um, in terms of any loose ends, I didn’t find very many, and the ones I did find I don’t know if they would be useful. You never did say who Puck’s scholar friend was. There’s also Pinocchio’s father. Did you want him to go searching for his dad or anything? And are they going to get all of Bunny’s children out of the glass prisons or are they stuck there?
Oh, and what happened to Moth?
I’ve probably forgotten to mention something, but all in all, this story was great and definitely something I will read again. I loved all of the ups and downs and the creativeness of it. Thank you for sharing.
| TheGingerAvenger chapter 40 . 1/3
QotU: Oh dangit, that’s a tough one. Um, I think I would have to say Chapter 39, ‘cause I still think you did a phenomenal job with that.
“Puck got separated from whatsherbeautifulface-“ BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That made me laugh so hard, thank you!
And the image of Sabrina hopping through the battle was funny.
“He was shoved out of the way by a blonde man in a long jacket who flashed him a crooked grin from underneath is even more crooked nose”- You're missing a letter.
I liked that you kept switching to different perspectives in this chapter. It kinda added to the chaotic feel of the battle and everything that was going on.
(Just as a heads up, it may take a few days before I can review the last chapter. I want to read over the story again so I’d be better able to review the entire story.)
| TheGingerAvenger chapter 39 . 1/3
Yeah, I’ve tried to stop looking at how many people read fics and don’t review. It’s too sad. I'm surprised you had that problem, though. This is a really good story.
But YAY preview snippets! And the sequel looks like it’s going to be awesome!
| TheGingerAvenger chapter 38 . 1/3
QotU: I’m horrible at naming things so I don’t think I can help you with that.
“The jist of it, though, was that the previous queen of Magica had had two powers which she was born with: the ability to create her childre without a man to help. . .” – I think it should be “gist” not “jist” and you left out the ‘n’ in children.
I loved the backstory for Snow and Bunny and all of the mirrors. That was a very creative way of matching it to this story and keeping some elements similar to the books.
You also did a good job describing Sabrina’s reaction to being stuck in the prison. I thought that it was very in character, especially her yelling at everyone.
“On the other side there were a line of thrones on a raised platform.” - Was?
“which was made of silver polished so smooth he was filled with a desire to see his distorted reflection in it like the warped mirrors of Trickster.”- Oh, Puck, you weird little goof.
Normally I would point to specific sentences and paragraphs that I really liked, but it felt like I really liked every other sentence. You did a great job. I liked the way Sabrina and Puck handled the stress and fear of being led to their death, of Puck trying to copy Sabrina, and Sabrina’s calm starting to wear away as she walked along, and the little details that you pointed out. Like Sabrina’s drawn eyebrows and the way she walked on her toes. It was a good way of drawing the reader into the story, making them feel worried too, and it also showed just how much Puck paid attention to Sabrina. Just an overall great job.
But oooooh that was a cruel ending.
| TheGingerAvenger chapter 37 . 1/3
QotU: I might just be a teensy-bit late, but I’m reviewing now!
Yay, Jonas is back!
Well that was sad. I liked it though. It was an interesting take to describe the war as monotonous. It's certainly a different perspective but it does make a lot of sense.
Good job on the introduction of the other mirrors. I was wondering if they were going to make an appearance, or if it was just going to be Mirror. I can’t wait to see what kind of backstory you give them!
“And then she’d invade their country. See how they liked it.” – Hahaha! Sabrina’s entire reaction to the thought of Puck not waking up was very in character.
“What they did do was hide out in a little green glade by a stream, among a group of short men who appeared to be good friends of Snow’s.” – Hehe
| TheGingerAvenger chapter 36 . 1/3
QotU: Clap clap!
“Sabrina couldn’t die! She was to important!” – wrong to.
I found Jake’s reasoning behind calling Daphne “peanut” to be very amusing. That part was cute and it felt awkward, which is understandable considering they haven’t met each other before.
“For someone who supposedly wanted to talk to her, Pinocchio was excellent at making himself scarce. By the time she’d made it to the spot sh’d last seen his face . . .” – missing a letter.
The first section was heavy on the dialogue, and didn’t feel that tense, at least to me it didn’t. That could just be because I already know that Charming isn’t going to say no to Snow. I’m not really sure what could be done to add more tension though.
I really liked the last section of the chapter. The exchange between Daphne and Pinocchio was nice, and you have no idea how happy I am that Daphne’s dropping the whole “cold shoulder” tactic she used in the books. It makes her more likable.
| TheGingerAvenger chapter 35 . 1/3
“The four royals were waiting for winter, which would be coming soon.”- WINTER IS COMING! ( I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)
I liked the detail that Puck and Sabrina weren’t ready to do anything more than hold hands. I think it fits them more than the jumping straight to smooching.
“The first of the soldiers were one the bank now, running for the two teenagers in their shallow cave with their weapons out.” – on not one.
I loved the description of Scholar, it was very well done and easy to picture. It sounds like a nice place to be, especially the Library.
“The strange man, who had blonde hair, blue eyes, and a nose that had been broken more than once. . .” YEEEEEESSSSS!
“Pinocchio’s head snaps back up to lock eyes with Jake.” – snapped? You switch into present tense a few more times towards the end of this chapter.
| ClaireCat13 chapter 41 . 1/2
OH EM GEE I AM SO LATE TO THE STORY AND STUFF BUT THAT WAS SO AMAZEBALLZ
| Guest chapter 17 . 12/31/2014
oh, and sorry i wasn't clear, i was talking about the chapter when sabrina hid in the rose bushes
| Guest chapter 17 . 12/31/2014
it does match the cover, and wait... there were ONE HUNDRED leaves on that rose? i find that hard to believe.
| TheGingerAvenger chapter 34 . 12/13/2014
QotU: Not gonna answer since you've already finished this (congrats!) and I can't really think of any loose ends at the moment.
I liked that you added in the detail of Basil not recognizing Sabrina as his sister. It's sad but very realistic. I also liked that you bring out the aspect of him having a closer relationship with Red. Especially since (I'm assuming) he's older than he was in the books.
"Sabrina had tried shoving her parent's faces together in a pseudo-kiss, but it hadn't worked." - Hahaha, that's a lovely image.
Sabrina feeling a bit guilty about Red was nice. I thought it contrasted well with how she reacts to Red in the books and showed how mature she is in this story.
"(something about tricking whoever had put the person who dug the tunnel's jailer)"- This doesn't make much sense to me.
Ooh, I like your adaptation of the egg-balloon-cocoon thingy Puck was in in the books.
". . . a note signed only with the letter J" - IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?!
"What was he supposed to do with a crying female?"- Haha! You had a lot of funny Puck lines in this chapter.
"She continued to look at him, with the slightest amount of pleading in his eyes." - Her eyes?
This was a really cute chapter. I liked the interactions between Puck and Sabrina and how each one is shown to worry about the other. I especially liked their silent communication at the end!
| kare-bear-Karen chapter 41 . 12/13/2014
You are a really good writer and I wanted to congratulate you on finishing another story. :-)
| Lara D NLI chapter 41 . 12/13/2014
I FINALLY HAD TIME TO READ THIS. (I think I've already read it but I actually do not remmeber.)
That was a good wrap up. I completely forgot Daphne and Puck never met before this, so that was fun to read about how she stepped on him at the beginning :D
I hope I can read more soon! :)