Reviews for Traitors
omry.grinberg chapter 3 . 6/14/2016
I wish you'd continue.
Alowl chapter 14 . 5/18/2013

The Death Gate Cycle is one of my favorite fantasy series; they were some of my favorite books when I was younger, and I return to them every so often simply to savor the works. I really like your AU; I'm left with the impression that yes, this is something that could have happened so very, very easily, and now I'm left in eager anticipation of each chapter.

Alfred is one of my favorite characters. I'm very interested with your interpretation of him - who he is, where he's going - you consistently make him substantially more BA then he is in the books, a change I am very much in favor of. The idea of Alfred *realizing* his power, and acting accordingly - well. I like your take on the character. Though now I am possessed of the urge to see him doing more and more incredible things - it's a slippery slope, I tell you!

Well. Halpo and Marit should be introduced to the Mausoleum in the next few upcoming chapters. I wonder what response it would draw from Marit? How would Halpo react, being in the center of the place that has so drastically come to define Alfred's life?

I wonder under what circumstances Alfred would even think of revealing/claiming his True Name?
Darkhymns chapter 14 . 1/12/2013
Oh, Alfred. Getting people to wanna kill you even when you're not around. Guess that happens when you -unknowingly- get between people and their career ambitions. XD Charmayne, violence isn't the answer! (the dragon-snakes will happily disagree).

Aww, it's okay, Alfred! Haplo doesn't mind the support. :) And Marjorie (yay!) just needs to open her heart to friendship, so she doesn't have to be suspicious (jealous?) of Haplo and Alfred's connection. But that might take a while. XD

I am okay with this fanon idea! It'll be fun, even if Alfred doesn't think so.
Darkhymns chapter 13 . 11/18/2012
Ohh, Haplo's mad. That's what happens when you keep suspecting/attempting to murder his best friend, Marit. (That he doesn't know is his best friend yet but um, well!) Also, I like Maria as a pseudonym, or Marjorie! I just think its neat.

Overall, Haplo putting everyone in their place was satisfying. Especially Bane, who can't get the demigods to do what he wants. That's what you get for being a manipulative brat, Bane. :)

"You might not have noticed this, Alfred, but she doesn't seem to trust you much." "No, really?" XD Haha, was he being all snarky? Because that is great/cute all around. It must get tiring for poor Alfred for people to not trust him. It's okay though, Haplo still does, which is the important thing, evidenced by Alfred getting all misty-eyed about it. Awww. :)

*tries to hug them both too* Nooo Alfred you should've left a hole for fangirls. D:

Another DGC story on the horizon is gonna get me all excited. (Christmas is coming early this year for me!) Ha, I'm actually working on a oneshot also (because great minds think alike?) so hopefully we both get our stuff done soon? *crosses fingers* XD
Darkhymns chapter 12 . 11/4/2012
Looks like Haplo's starting to get Alfred's memories now. How fun will that be? XD (Answer: Very!)

Poor Haplo just wants his soul back. And the dog won't give it to him. Maybe bribe it with sausages!

I didn't expect the other Sartan to appear! And poor Alfred is mistrusted everywhere, from them to dagger-throwing Marit. At least you got Haplo for a (mostly) friend. And I'll admit I laughed picturing Alfred just falling into the other Sartan. XD;;

'"I'm not sure if your mother would have approved of that," Haplo muttered.' Ouch. Ramu deserved that times a million.

That is weird that Haplo just gives out his very-Patryn name everywhere. (I remember Orla could tell right away when Alfred mentioned it). Though I think the whole magical power over them comes from seeing their heart-runes than just speaking it? Since they're more focused on the written form of their names, at least I think that's how I remember it. XD Though yeah, if you're gonna cover your hands to hide your runes, might as well make a fake name too!

Yay faster updates! NaNoWriMo intimidates me too much to ever do it though. :P
Darkhymns chapter 11 . 9/1/2012
An update for this story as well?! *flips table excitedly* Today is a good day.

It was always pretty weird that Haplo didn't seem to wonder about his dog so much. It just magically teleports anywhere, acts as his eyes; and when it dies and he sees it come back he's just, "Hey there, boy!" and doesn't even question it at all. Denial much? That's just how the dog is, no worries. :) And Haplo's soul having puppies? I can't believe I never thought of that before.

I loved both his and Alfred's exchange on their memories. Not always a pleasant surprise when someone else can recall key moments of your life. Poor Alfred really can't help it at all. And I'm just giggling over Alfred's line, "You can do the same to me." Not -all- of Alfred's memories are full of loneliness, Haplo! Well, if you include the ones before the big sleep...

I really like how you're writing Marit here as well, still distrustful but it's understandable, while trying to keep up her spying duties. And no weird rune-joining with Xar is still the best thing- no need to fear for creepy Xar dialogue! Which is always a plus. XD
Darkhymns chapter 10 . 7/23/2012
Aww, awkward times for all! Poor Haplo. A distrustful Marit was not what he expected or wanted. Though I do love Alfred trying to shake her hand. Manners are important!

"Alfred gulped audibly. His fingers dug into Haplo's shoulders. "W-well met, Keeper."' Haha, is he hiding behind Haplo? Because that is adorable. The Kenkari -are- intimidating looking elves going by their descriptions in the book. And I particularly love how the female elf described Alfred- it is extremely perfect. :D

It was great seeing another chapter! And seeing psychic elves put to good use. Though now Alfred has some pressure on him- as does everyone else. XD
Darkhymns chapter 9 . 6/1/2012
Oh Alfred, working yourself to death. Good thing you have Haplo to watch out for you. XD Now I want to know what humorous incident happened to him when he was a young'un. Also, moody Alfred is fun.

And Haplo, even Bane can see the beginnings of friendship there, but then he was always rather perceptive- that and being an evil little creature.

The Kenkari were one of the most interesting aspects of Hands of Chaos. I like where this is going, though would any of them really want to know their future? :P And I really like the last scene with Marit- not what I expected, and showing off Haplo's soft side. All the grumpy ones have one!
Darkhymns chapter 8 . 5/19/2012
I had this slow realization when Haplo mentioned Kleitus and Jera, and once I finally understood- well, a furious Alfred is an expected result! And a bit frightening. Because when the Serpent Mage is angry at Haplo, enough to make Haplo's runes light up when it senses danger nearby... and said mage also happens to be taller than him, just for emphasis! In other words, I loved that scene- and hey, Haplo's idea at least keeps Alfred from going off to die, for now. So, best pep talk ever? 8D (Actually, now that I think of it, he did keep Devon from dying too- Haplo just has a gift, unrefined as it is now).

Bane, are you scheming? You stop that right now. Also, Marit, you should come out and be best friends with everyone (except Bane who needs a time out). It'll be great, for serious.

As always I will be waiting in eagerness for the next chapter, along with patience! :)
Darkhymns chapter 7 . 5/15/2012
Oh poor Alfred. I had a vain hope too! But I can understand the demands of the plot bunnies- their thirst for drama and tragedy cannot be quenched. D: But then, having Alfred just vaporize the Labyrinth dragon right after was quite satisfying. You can still save people, Alfred! Even if the person you just saved doesn't exactly trust you at the moment. And the line he has "Because I am so, so tired of death," is perfect. After all that he's been through, of course he can't bear seeing such things anymore. :(

And Bane's going with Haplo to Chelestra! But staying on the ship? I don't think things are going to go quite as planned. But we need the power of friendship to help Alfred from his depression. HAPLO MOVE FASTER. D: And beware the bunnies!
Darkhymns chapter 6 . 5/6/2012
Alfred replicating all the books is genius~ I love how you did that scene; trying to convince himself how horrible it all is while he's just doing it anyway. So Alfred-like~

Replicating ships sure is handy. Though I think I remember the dwarves in Serpent Mage being a little suspicious of magic- and got all freaked out when one of their ships was magically repaired. But then, those -were- evil dragon snakes, and this is Alfred. I guess it would be obvious which magical creature to trust. XD

The marriage thing really was creepy. D: It made me initially not like Marit in the beginning, and took me a long while to warm up to her (particularly when she helps rescue Alfred from the dragon). I like the route you're taking with her so far. Also, yes to more character development!

Wacky adventures with Alfred in the Labyrinth! And by wacky, I mean, terrifying, traumatizing, and possibly not so fun. Unless he knows to get into the Vortex first, hopefully. Either way, I'm looking forward to it. _
Darkhymns chapter 5 . 4/28/2012
I must admit, I had not expected Orla to be banished to the Labyrinth by herself! But Samah and Ramu -are- both incredibly huge jerks- always conversing about stuff secretly, and very creepily. Is it Alfred to the rescue? HURRY ALFRED GO. I also forgot to mention this before, but I love the names you gave to his parents~ They fit really nicely.

Haplo, your life, as you know it, is over. But at least Xar doesn't wanna kill you...yet.

Since things aren't working out for either of them- the only solution is to team up again! More friendship! I'm rather pathetic, yes?~
Garlic chapter 5 . 4/28/2012
I was surprised how little there was in this fandom; nice to see someone writing in it.
Darkhymns chapter 4 . 4/12/2012
8D Ever find your home suddenly infested with evil dragon-snakes ready to inflict pain and suffering on everything you hold dear? Just bring Alfred the Serpent Mage along for a safe dragon-snake-free experience! Warning: May require significant pushing and convincing to make said Alfred come along in the first place. Yay for Yngvar for succeeding~

I heartily approve of young!Alfred. Yes I do~ A most brilliant idea! Hopefully Haplo has an idea too, because Xar is probably gonna be a jerk- the kind of jerk that tortures people. D:
Darkhymns chapter 3 . 4/5/2012
Fluffy friendship is the best kind~! Especially when it's weird and awkward, because it just makes it that much fun to read. XD This entire chapter was great, having Alfred and Haplo talk and connect- and Haplo gruffly realizing that he likes Alfred. Can't deny the friendship~!

And yay for Orla! Alfred is adorable when he mentions her- she deserved better than an off-screen death later on. D:(So did Hugh, but at least one of his deaths was described before).

"Alfred's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Cuckolded?" he squeaked, appalled. His entire face was red. "We did no such thing!"

"That you remember," Haplo muttered." - haha, oh my that was awesome. Haplo has a wicked sense of humor~ Poor Alfred can't take it. XD

Aww, they're separating! But this was so much fun. Can't wait for the next part~ but I'll try. _
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