|Reviews for The Gentleman Caller|
| The-Manga-Goddess chapter 14 . 1/27
This was a cute story even though I'm not fond of the idea of Honest John and Giddy being 'reformed'. I loved how you started with John and Giddy in the beginning (most fanfics I've read generally start with their OC and while that's not bad, yours is a more refreshing approach) and you kept them in character.
While the plot was good, I'm a bit confused of why Richard wanted to kill off his family - was he in debt because of them, wanted to collect their insurance, or not go through with divorce - and why he would ally with the Coachman - in the film, all the boys except Pinocchio turned into donkeys and he probably made a hefty profit. In my opinion, you should've created a new villain.
The biggest issue I had with the story was the time and setting. Pinocchio was written and set in the early 1880s but you put in telephones and cars which really confused me until Arianna had the magazine with Clark Gable and Vivian Leigh gave me the idea it was at least in the 1940s (I think you used 1940 as the time setting because of the Pinocchio film); Like I said, Pinocchio was set in the Victorian era (a good clue was the style clothes John and Giddy wore) in a village of the Tuscan region of Italy (because of where the author was from).
Another thing was Moonlight Valley: was it part of Pinocchio's village or in different town. There wasn't much elaboration on it. Same thing with Scarlette and her family: are they American, British, or Italian? I would like to know a little more about their background.
Also you seem to have merged 1940 with today: an example would be with the Howards going to Hawaii for a vacation: Hawaii was not the place to vacation back in 1880s and especially around 1940s (due to WWII). Another example was the clock radio which wasn't even invented until way after the '40s.
I'm sorry if I sound so nitpicky but I really do think that this fanfic had potential but it just need some tweaking.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 14 . 7/11/2012
A fitting conclusion to a magnificent story. I can't say what my favorite scene was because yet again, the whole chapter is great. Ten of of ten stars.
In the future, if you ever feel the need to do a sequel, feel free to ask me for ideas.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 13 . 7/4/2012
Damn, that was a good plot twist, and the fight between Foulfellow and the Coachman. Everything was good in this part. Ten out of then stars, enough said.
The Reluctant Warrior
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 12 . 6/26/2012
You did it yet again.
I can't say much about this chapter other than the fact that it is really well done and I loved the cliffhanger at the end(though I do fear for Giddy's life).
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 11 . 6/24/2012
Another good chapter as always.
There was on error though, twice you put John's name after a line that should have been uttered by Richard and again did the same thing only the other way around but other than that, this was exceptional.
I have to admit, when Scarlette ran into the Coachman, I couldn't help but mutter "Oh sh*t", knowing that she was kind of...screwed.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 10 . 6/21/2012
RIP well-crafted violin, we hardly knew ye.
You've done it again, Snheetah! There isn't mich I cans say except that there are few errors and I liked how you eluded to a bit of Foulfellow's backstory.
You also did a good job on developing the characters of Scarlette and Mary.
Above all, you just seem to keep getting better with each chapter, ten out of ten.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 9 . 6/18/2012
As always, thia was a great chapter. There were a few grammer errors but they're just minor nitpicks on an otherwise perfect story.
I can't pick out a favorite moment because every part of this chapter is great. But I can say this: Richard Vixington, I am starting to dislike you. The same goes for you Coachman.
I do have a feeling that Honest John is going to make the Coachman regret his words which wouldd be cool be because Foulfellow was always scared s***less of that guy and of Pleasure Island.
9 out of a possible 10.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 8 . 6/15/2012
This was quite good although Gideon stole the show almost comepletly. The suspense is building, now the only question is when will Scarlette find out that this is just one big scheme. 10/10 as always.
P.S. Its wise to never mess with Foulfellow, that cane isn't just to make him look cool XD.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 7 . 5/26/2012
This was good as always. The story is really starting to get interesting. I hope to see more from you in the future. Ten out of ten.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 6 . 5/21/2012
Snheetah, you did it again. I can't pick a favorite scene out of this chapter so I'll just say the whole damn thing is great. I'm now starting to wonder how Scarlette will react to finding out that John isn't all he says he is.
The grammer is exellent, in just about all the chapters so far.
Ten out of ten stars - Legendary
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 5 . 5/12/2012
That was...most impressive. The scene with the shopkeeper was well done and I'm seeing some interesting character development in Foulfellow's case. Scarlette's introduction was great too.
Ten out of ten stars. Keep it up.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 4 . 4/29/2012
Nice work, I love the irony when Foulfellow was scolding Gideon for stealing(its not like he doesn't do it as well). I must admit I found the last scene a bit tragic for some reason. Anyway keep it up.
For this chapter, 10 out of 10 stars.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 3 . 4/23/2012
Another good chapter to what;s shaping up to be an exquisite story. My only critisim is that its is a tad short, but that just could be a nitpick.
Keep it up.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 2 . 4/18/2012
What you have here, sir(or madam) is a rather interesting premise, a great one at that. I hope to see more in the future.
| Pimocchio fan chapter 1 . 3/22/2012
*GASP* Honest John is the best villain in that movie. Update soon!