|Reviews for The Decline of One Norman Jayden|
| AllgoodPhil chapter 6 . 7/9/2012
Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I like the new chapters, it's nice to know that Norman isn't the only one suffering.
| Chyrstis chapter 6 . 7/5/2012
Someone's being sneaky! I hope Jayden's attempt to gather info won't backfire, especially if he happens to find out something he'd rather not. Ditto on the good work with the dialogue, though! It's great to see Jayden interact with someone he used to work well with, especially since Sinclair's more expressive nature contrasts with his sharply. I'm thinking we'll get more details next chapter, especially concerning Sinclair's own history with ARI. It's never good to see someone you used to know and respect suffer, so we'll have to wait and see how the business with ARI can be concluded.
No worries about finals. They really can singlehandedly fuel the desire to write and kill it completely. I'm happy you found a way to come back to this, because things are just starting to really kick into gear, and you wouldn't want to keep us hanging, right? ;D
Hah, nothing breaks the tense mood like being abducted by aliens. Especially if there might be a dog at the helm. XD Can't wait to see how these endings will contribute to the overall story!
| Thelann chapter 6 . 7/5/2012
Finally, the chapter we've all been waiting for! I can't say I'm disappointed. Sinclair already seems like a colorful character; he reminds me of Irish from Red Dead Redemption (and apparently he holds his liquor just a poorly).
I particularly like the dialogue in this chapter. It seems very real, especially the slight Irish accent of Sinclair and the way that Norman and he have their awkward, yet fitting reunion.
Can't wait for the next chapter, which sounds like it won't be too far away.
| Schooled Ash chapter 5 . 6/19/2012
I love the direction you're taking on Jayden's ending after being praised as a hero only to suffer from hallucinations. Kicking the habit was only a small but critical step, he's also going to have to find a way to come to terms of what's happening to him and how to control it. I hope you continue and keep up the good work.
| Remulin chapter 1 . 6/11/2012
I like your explanation of the ARI effects. I just played through the game and got Jayden's tank ending and was thoroughly confused because I thought resisting the triptocaine would solve his problems. Nope.
| Chyrstis chapter 3 . 6/7/2012
Couldn't quite leave a review since I'd left one earlier, so I hopped back a bit to leave it here. Hope you don't mind!
I'm really glad I could help! With all they don't say about ARI in the game, it really can be the gift which keeps on giving in fic. :D
It hurts to see Jayden try to measure himself against the others, because even if they're all suffering, he still believes he's a failure for letting himself get as bad as he has. ...But we'll have to see how the others are coping once he actually gets in touch with them, Lynch included!
Good luck with future updates! I can't wait to find out what'll happen next.
| Thelann chapter 5 . 6/7/2012
I feel that a story is the property of the writer, and therefore the writer should be able to make any decisions or revisions to their piece (Except when it comes to Star Wars. Damn you, George Lucas!).
I look forward to reading anything you write, as I've come to enjoy your writing style and the way you've written Norman.
| Chyrstis chapter 5 . 6/6/2012
It's your story, and at any point in time if something fails to work or completely derails it, you should feel free to make a change. The best part about this change is that if it works great for what's planned, chances are it'll help us to better understand and keep pace with what you've got in mind as well!
It'll be okay! Do what feels right for you and for the story. :D
| Chyrstis chapter 4 . 6/1/2012
One of the most depressing things about the Case Closed ending is the fact that it seems inevitable that ARI will make his life fall apart. You're showing that struggle quite well, especially with his emotional instability and scattered thoughts.
The amount of aggression he can display is a serious problem, so as for next moves, first, I'll suggest he skip menacing the homeless. ;P
Maybe he can try to track down other ARI users to figure out more. I'd like to see how the other agents might be handling it, and Jayden's feelings about that.
Please continue when you're able!
| AllgoodPhil chapter 4 . 5/10/2012
Great,I realy like this chapter; Norman's addiction and mental problems are now affect his work.
P.S. "I think it's a conspracy!"
| Thelann chapter 4 . 4/29/2012
I've really enjoyed your story so far. Norman was a great character in Heavy Rain, and the way you've portrayed his fight with ARI addiction is quite realistic. Also, the "scattered" writing of your chapters actually enhances the overall effect of Norman's scattered thought-process.
I wish I could help decide what Norman's next move is, but I honestly have no idea. I'm confident that you'll be able to write a satisfying chapter, though.
| Sulky Shadow chapter 3 . 4/18/2012
You do a nice job of explaining and showing Norman's confusion and desperate need for the ARI and how much he knows he needs to stop. Good work.
| AllgoodPhil chapter 3 . 4/9/2012
Wow great chapter I especially love the addittion of the imaginary or "other" Norman Jayden keep up the work!
P.S. I would Like to see a little action in the future like a fight (maybe Jayden's ARI gets broken?).
| AllgoodPhil chapter 2 . 4/4/2012
Wow, what a deeply emotional Chapter; Keep it up!
| AllgoodPhil chapter 1 . 4/3/2012
Wow I can see that this will be a great story,update soon!