|Reviews for Within the Apocalypse|
| Tenma Sosei chapter 25 . 10/17
I really hope you add Rei with Naruto.
| BuHuu chapter 16 . 8/31
Please, like Tsunachi777 said, no harem in this is story. I mean, what is the big idea behind these harem stories? I don't get it and I really begin to despise harem stories. I admit, there are a few good harem stories, but most of the naruto crossover fictions are total unrealistic harems.
One woman, okay. Two woman, still okay. Three woman, maybe. But really, more than three woman is really unrealistic for me. But why want alw
| Tellemicus Sundance chapter 1 . 8/2
I'm sure you've heard this before, it was ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY to give Naruto the Rinnegan and the awesome powers that go with it! And based on what little of his character and past that we've seen here, it would've been just been better to replace Naruto with Sasuke. Such a cold-hearted mentality and reaction would've fit the Uchiha SO MUCH BETTER than Naruto!
Naruto would've done just fine with only his 'normal' powers and abilities. As they say: in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. And Naruto is a fully-powered, experienced badass ninja in a world that has never known or seen the capabilities of chakra!
But I guess that complaint's moot and you'll just disregard it afterwards. If nothing else, I will say that you've done a remarkable job writing the story thus far. I just hope that you'll do something different and steer somewhat away from canon, make your OWN version of the series. In opinion, when it comes to crossovers of this nature, canon is a GUIDE to what could've been. It is something which you can use for references and ideas, but don't be afraid to take a 'left' turn instead of the 'right' that canon.
So, excluding my complaint, it's promising and pretty long. I'll definitely check out the next few chapters!
| Addictorator chapter 1 . 7/22
By the first chapter, and all I see is blatant plagiarism.
"The dead lunged at the blonde, but he ended up stabbing the rod through the head of one. The others grabbed onto the blonde, "Shinra Tensei."He muttered quietly. Only the boy on his shoulders would have effectively heard it. It was then that the six creatures that had come to surround the two were viciously blown back. This wasn't the 'please move from the doorway'Shinra Tensei as he liked to call it, such as the one he used earlier against the abomination in the school. This was a full-fledged, bone crushing, organ melting forceful push that was used for combat.
The creatures rocketed off in all directions, the amount of force shown to all of the onlookers as over in the bus. One of the monsters had propelled right into the school. One of them ended up slamming hard against the constructed walls, impacting with enough force to make an actual crater in it. Another creature blew off in another direction, rocketing at the fence before spring boarding face first crashing into the cement."
I quoted that from your first chapter. Now observe this excerpt from Chapter 3 of Forward unto Dawn by Bleedndreamz.
"Shinra Tensei." He muttered quietly. Only the boy on his shoulders would have effectively heard it. It was then that the six creatures that had come to surround the two were viciously blown back. This wasn't the 'please move from the doorway' Shinra Tensei as he liked to call it, such as the one he used earlier against the abomination in the school. This was a full fledged, bone crushing, organ melting forceful push that was used for combat.
The creatures rocketed off in all directions, the amount of force shown to all of the onlookers as over in the bus. One of the monsters had propelled right into the school. His body slamming hard against the contructed walls, impacting with enough force to make an actual crater in it. A feeling he knew far too well from his battle with Pein. Another creature blew off in another direction, rocketing at the fence before spring boarding face first harshing into the cement."
You seem to have corrected a few of Bleedndreamz' spelling mistakes such as "contructed" (constructed) and "harshing" (crashing), not to mention adding a few phrases here and there, which leads me to believe you were the one who copied from his fanfic, since nobody would intentionally create spelling mistakes that were previously not there. Blatant plagiarism like this and riding on the works of others, frankly, disgusts me. Reported.
| animecutylover chapter 8 . 7/6
| animecutylover chapter 7 . 7/6
| animecutylover chapter 5 . 7/6
| animecutylover chapter 4 . 7/6
I bet the mastermind behind this wanted to test Naruto.
| animecutylover chapter 3 . 7/6
It seems Naruto has met the crazy people.
| animecutylover chapter 2 . 7/6
Is Naruto gonna go blind because of the acid?
| animecutylover chapter 1 . 7/6
I bet his friends got in danger because something happened related to him.
| Fernando overkill chapter 1 . 6/14
| dandraft15 chapter 1 . 5/1
pfft yeah good luck. Its not for me but all the best
| Guest chapter 17 . 4/14
Well its probley to late but sure lets go with a harem
| SHADOWNINJAMASTER chapter 25 . 4/8
Awesome keep it up