|Reviews for Annabelle's story|
| Person chapter 2 . 6/17/2013
| Person chapter 1 . 6/17/2013
| Guest chapter 2 . 10/27/2012
| Kraft58 chapter 1 . 7/22/2012
I'm new to the all dogs go to heaven community so your story is the first one I decided to look at mostly because Annabelle is my favorite character.
I personally like the premise of this story and am very interested to see where you go with this. Not only as a fan of Annabelle but also as a brand new fan of all dogs go to heaven.
However I must point out a few complaints, I hope I don't be too harsh, since I only want to help improve your writing. Ill list them below.
1) When writing dialogue you should drop down a line and begin a new paragraph with every character to speak.
Ex: "hey," I said. "How are you?"
"Hi," she replied, "I'm good"
2) You use the dialogue tag was too often, every character who spoke you said the tag "said", be creative, "replied, smiled, teased, chuckled, frowned,"
not only do these mention that the character is talking but show us how they are responding to the previous statement.
3) The five senses should be used more, they paint a picture and draw the reader into the story.
That's enough of me being a grammar nazi, I really did enjoy this, hope to see more from you in the future.
| femalecenobite22 chapter 2 . 4/13/2012
good second chapter i see where the horn known as gabriel's horn came from keep up the good work on the story
| femalecenobite22 chapter 1 . 3/24/2012
good chapter for annabelle's story hope to see more chapters