|Reviews for The Storm Meets the Fairy|
| Dragoncyber22 chapter 2 . 23h
A good story, and it has a very good plot. If you make a continuation or continue
the same story will be very cool and that the continuation is very makes you a great fanfic writer, and please continue the story
| froger495 chapter 2 . 4/18/2013
cant wait for the next chapter.
| Rangiku9815 chapter 2 . 12/18/2012
update soon plz
| T00STr00nG chapter 2 . 9/13/2012
update this soon plz
| RasenShuriken92 chapter 2 . 6/10/2012
It was awesome!
I love it
Can Mirajane be with Naruto too? :D
Thank u very much for the chap
Hope you can update soon
Have a nice day!
| Genericrandom chapter 2 . 5/15/2012
I want to like this, I really do... but too much Deus Ex Machina. First, why the Sennin? Doing that, you took away a lot of the meaning from Naruto's efforts to become stronger. There was still the gained benefits from learning about himself, but that's about it. I realize it was supposed to be a quick and easy way/plot device to get Naruto and Bee to Earthland but it just reeked of a heavy handed author.
This chapter took that and then went even further with it. I dunno, maybe it's just that your writing doesn't click with me (some authors I can just never like regardless of how good they are or are not) but the whole thing felt incredibly contrived and very rushed. Kinda like "I don't want to write this, I want to get to the good stuff already, but I have to set things up." And to me it really showed through. About the only thing you even halfway wanted to write by my estimation was the fight. Now, maybe I'm wrong, but so far this all feels like you were going "Gah, what a pain" from the beginning of chapter one up until the fight. It all felt just so very, very forced.
I'll stop here, before I go too far. Generally, I fell as if it leaves much room for improvement. But regardless, I do thank you for writing, because while I didn't care for this story, I'm sure others do and as far as first offerings go, it's really not that bad. Work yourself around the traps you fell into, or possibly pick a different starting point and I think it'll improve greatly.
| GaijinSamurai chapter 2 . 4/16/2012
Wow, way for Naruto to get humiliated. There were other ways to get your point across and motivate Naruto rather than have Bee beat him so badly in their spar. The fact that he's lost the ability to use the techniques he had trained so hard to gain is a turn off to this story in my opinion. In fact, it was bullshit that Bee actually fought him without actually telling him about the fact that they have magic and not chakra. It was an unfair fight.
And I don't exactly like your comparison between magic and chakra. I agree with one of your other reviewers about the fact that Naruto in Sage Mode would probably be able to defeat most S Rank mages. Jiraiya in Sage Mode almost defeated Nagato, who is probably more powerful than Gildarts and Makarov. Or does the fact that Nagato pretty much nuked Konoha, and revived every person that he killed in the process not evident enough of that fact? I have yet to see Magic accomplish the same feats that Chakra has.
Grammar and spelling wise, this story isn't too bad. I did read a few mistakes, but they weren't terrible.
I'm not quite sure I'll continue with this story though to be honest. I hate stories that first portray Naruto as powerful, then weaken him significantly. Good luck with whatever it is you intend to do with this story.
Oh, and just so you know. Naruto has never called any character Bro. Not even Bee. The closest he has ever come to doing so is admitting that he thought of Sasuke as his brother during their battle at the Valley of the End. Look it up on the Naruto wiki if you don't believe me.
| SpeeDemon chapter 2 . 4/13/2012
For Naruto make him go wind and water.
| Collin Oshea chapter 2 . 4/6/2012
Good chapter, keep up the good work.
| yukicrewger2 chapter 2 . 4/6/2012
he used to call him octopops
| OoOXylionOoO chapter 2 . 4/6/2012
Heyhey good chapter with the return of the crap rapppppp !
Not a lot author write the rap so gg :)
Anyway keep up the great work !
| Cloves chapter 2 . 4/6/2012
Hmm the lines that you used here.. "I don't care how I continue to fight . . . if you rip my arms off, I'll kick you to death. If you rip my legs off, I'll bite you to death. If you rip my head off, I'll stare you to death. And if you gouge my eyes off, I'll curse you to death . . . Even if I'm torn to shreds . . ."
I don't think that would happen to Naruto and Bee in a spar. u think you over did it just to use those lines..
| Yami Arashi chapter 2 . 4/6/2012
bee shouldn't have ask naruto what will he do if he gain power it's obvious what's the answer to that question...
| soulofdragon1 chapter 2 . 4/6/2012
so is he gonna have takeover magic too naruto?
| Final Black Getsuga chapter 2 . 4/5/2012
Not much to say besides good job, and that I really liked the chapter.
And just so you know, Naruto just calls Killer Bee, well...Bee, since theri relationship is more like friends and fellow jinchurikis than brothers. Its strange to imagine him calling someone that, specially since he never calls anyone nii-san or anything of the sort, but anyway just wanted to tell you that.
Good job and I hope you update soon.