|Reviews for Watership Down Beyond The New World|
| RogueFanKC chapter 34 . 4/26
Yea, remember what I said about Sam should have come clean with the group about who her brother was? This is why...
Although I was touched that Lucy, Pipkin, and Derek stood up for Sam's defense, and eventually, once the convicts and letter will be found out, they would all have a better time believing Sam. However, I can also understand everyone's outright mistrust: Fields did a number on all of them, and frankly, it's really difficult to not suspect anything else. So no, as bad and harsh as it was, I do not blame anyone at all for their unwillingness to trust Sam.
Now Stonecrop is a different matter; I absolutely despise Sandwort to the point where I want to drop-kick him into the nearest lake. The thing with Stonecrop is just because he hasn't adhered to rabbit ways doesn't mean he has to leave. Whatever happened to letting him stay the way he is and letting him be himself? Awkward, it may be, but a danger to the warren? Not one bit.
Still, I hope that he can be found and that both Sam and Stonecrop resolve their issues and they get made right.
Continue soon! :)
| Chipster-roo chapter 34 . 4/18
Sorry for the late review, I was busy yesterday.
This is a good chapter, I think overall the discovery was handled well.
The descriptions of the various changes made to the organization of the colony, including the camouflage, are well-done, and really make you feel just how dangerous the characters' situation is. The scenes with the description of the HAB, and the materials found, are well-written. The dog food scene provided some nice comic relief. The scene where Sam gets attacked is all right, and I especially like Hazel's attitude.
The scene later on where several characters argue over what should be done about Sam and Stonecrop is well-written, and everyone seems to behave in-character. It seems really likely that Derek/Sam will become a ship later on.
And then, there's the scene with Sandwort and Stonecrop. I'm not really surprised by Sandwort's attitude, he already wasn't nice towards Stonecrop, and this latest incident about Sam makes him completely lose it. What a jerk! The scene is very well-written. I also liked the final scene, where Alan reflects on the events.
However, there was one thing that really disappointed me with this chapter. Hyzenthlay, after playing an important role in the previous chapter, is not mentioned a single time in this one. Also, my other favourite character, Fiver, only gets one spoken line. Seeing more of these two would be really nice.
As for suggestions for Sam to prove her innocence...I would rather not post them publicly, so I'll send you a PM.
| RogueFanKC chapter 33 . 1/3
Merry Christmas and happy New Year, SP!
Another excellent chapter! I loved the tension you showed with the rats and the owl, although I was immensely disappointed with Hyzenthlay's thought that Alan was running away to save his own life. He LITERALLY said "I'll be right back" and he NEVER has given any reason to have the rabbits mistrust him. After everything they have been through, that was a little OOC for me. They should KNOW to trust Alan and the humans with their lives, so reading Hyzenthlay's lack of faith seemed as jarring as if Justin the CrossBearer would stop believing that Hazel and the other rabbits loved him (Damian aside, Holly pointed out that the rabbits had to follow orders and that Damian threatened to kill Justin if they didn't).
Try not to sacrifice characterization for drama. At this point, both the WD rabbits and humans should be willing to die for each other and love each other to the point where they would never believe anything else.
I loved how you showed Groundsel to be a compassionate and understanding Chief given he decided to not punish Nyreem although Vervain's input is really beginning to scare me. At this point, they should save themselves the trouble and just banish him from Vleflain altogether.
For the record, I'm a coffee addict, so finding coffee in the airplane wreckage would totally get me cheering like Derek. And I thought it was a clever touch to show the colonists salvaging what they could from the wreck. In this new world, they need everything they can find.
Ah, next chapter seems like a tizzy, so I dread what's coming, although I think that quite a few people would be on Sam's side and understand that if Drake trusted Sam, then she is completely trustworthy. And somehow, I find Alan would be one of Sam's supporters.
| Chipster-roo chapter 33 . 12/18/2016
YES A NEW CHAPTER THIS IS SO EXCITING!
(let's calm down enough to write a decent review of one of the best chapters so far)
So we pick up right where we left off, with Alan and Hyzenthlay trying to keep Nyreem alive through the night until the others could come back with the necessary equipment to rescue her.
Overall, I think you did a good job with the first part of the chapter. It's great to finally see my favourite WD character take the spotlight, and I love how you describe her as "a warrior at heart".
You follow the plot of the TFWD chapter very well, and I like your decision of using an entire swarm of rats instead of just one rat like in TFWD. The whole scene is done with lots of suspense, and Alan's tricks are described well. Hyzenthlay-rah's determination in keeping Nyreem alive against all odds, and the brief glimpses into her mind add to the story.
The scene ends just like in TFWD, with an anonymous owl dropping by to save our heroes by disposing of the rats...and grab Alan. This scene is unexpected and well-written, and I like how it mirrors what happened to Hazel in The Orchard.
Then Derek and the others arrive. The scene with his trick is detailed enough to be able to understand what's going on, but not so detailed the reader gets bored. The very short scene with Hazel and Hyzenthlay is kinda cute and funny.
Now that Nyreem is safe and this subplot is resolved, I think you should ship her with Pipkin! You don't have to, of course, but until then, let's analyze the second part of the chapter.
The Watershippers go back to Vleflain where, as usual, Vervain is being a jerk. But at least this time he gets punished for it. I found this scene rather funny.
You spend a long time describing everything that gets salvaged from the wreck. I don't have much to say about that, apart from the fact it's well-written and it's funny how happy Hotdog is to have toilet paper again. It's the kind of thing you take for granted, and once it's gone you realize how important it is.
The chapter ends with Derek and the others analyzing the cause of the wreck, and Alan coming to the conclusion that something terrible is happening. According to the author's note, Sam's true identity will be revealed in the next chapter. This is going to make things difficult, especially with Stonecrop being so unpopular...Derek might be the only one who will stand for her. The other mystery? Might be related to the mysterious safe found near the wreckage, but I'll see.
But until then, have a great Christmas, stay positive, thank you for favouriting my two fics, and I'll be looking forward to the next chapter, mate!
| RogueFanKC chapter 32 . 9/12/2016
Another excellent chapter!
I was surprised that the military jet containing the prisoners landed so close to Vleflain, although I'm even more surprised that none of the rabbits spotted any of the prisoners themselves. They surely would have seen them parachuting out while the plane was still airborne, correctr?
Still, I'm glad that Alan and the others twigged on to Sam and Stonecrop's warnings and hopefully they can all be alerted of the dangers. And nice description of how Watership differed with Vleflain. Though it's definitely better than Efrafa, the fact that a lot of the rabbits are so used to taking roders without questions like Vervain's guards makes me nervous. I REALLY don't see Stonecrop and Sam liking it in Vleflain.
However, it was nice to see how Groundsel is a decent Chief and how Campion is still well liked. Vervain...ugh, I KNOW he's going to cause problems. The fact he's there makes me know he's going to side with the prisoners, especially since they need intel and he wants to be Chief. Although he has a point: Woundwort coming back isn't that far out there of the realm of possibility.
Ah, I remember Nyreem; I just hope it ends well waiting at night, although now I wonder when Sam is going to spill the beans that she's Robbins' sister.
Continue soon. :)
| Chipster-roo chapter 32 . 8/11/2016
*writes review* *accidentally deletes* Now that's annoying. Let's try again...
"Sorry for the delay" This chapter was actually posted faster than the last few chapters.
After two quiet chapters, we finally get action. That's really nice.
I like the fact that competent rabbits such as Holly and Hyzenthlay get chosen to go to Vleflain, instead of others like Hawkbit and Dandelion who would only cause trouble.
It's nice to see that Bigwig is willing to give Stonecrop a chance to accomplish something. Although he doesn't accomplish a lot so far, besides behaving like an idiot all over again. Sam doesn't do much either, but at least she doesn't threaten the mission like Stonecrop did.
It's also nice to see that the ammunition supply is getting low. What I mean by this, is that obstacles like this make the human characters struggle, and they therefore seem more real.
Your description of Vleflain is really interesting. While it remains more of a strict warren than WD, it still seems like a pleasant place to live.
It's weird that you say that the bucks only let Hyzenthlay go to Vleflain so she could meet some of her old friends from Efrafa, as the only friend she meets ends up being Blackavar, who has mated with Loganberry's OC.
Then, Vervain shows up and insults pretty much everyone, to varying degrees. Since he has not changed in all these years since the battle of Efrafa, it seems unlikely he ever will, and he may actually end up joining the criminals so he can get revenge on the outsiders.
He still worships the General, who is dead despite any rumours saying otherwise. Alan did meet him in Hell, after all. Or maybe you edited that in the original fic *checks* you didn't get that far in your editing yet...maybe he IS still alive, after all. Maybe we will get to see the Darkhaven rabbits in that case.
Enough speculating, back to what has actually been posted. The entire passage was especially good.
Then the characters find the remains of the plane. Your descriptions of the corpses and everything are quite disgusting, but that's probably intended.
Then, you meet another character, Riltha. In TFWD, it's spelled Rithla and the character is a buck. I don't mind the gender flip, though, you already did this with Prake and Celandine. Either way, Nyreem is in trouble. It's nice to finally see her show up, she and Quiens are some of the last few TFWD characters not to have appeared here yet.
A minor mistake: "they followed Nyreem to another part of the debris field" you probably mean "they followed Riltha..."
When Bigwig said that Hyzenthlay "call[s] [her]self co-Chief Rabbit" it took me a while to remember that she wasn't officially recognized as a rah yet. Embleer legal technicalities. Hopefully this will be taken care of soon.
I hope Alan's presence won't terrify Nyreem so much she loses the will to survive until daybreak when the others should be back with the required equipment. Perhaps it would have been a better idea to leave her alone with Hyzenthlay. Either way, I'm looking forward to the next chapter, to see how this all turns out. I hope it will be published soon.
Also, what are your thoughts on the new Watership Down miniseries being produced by the BBC and Netflix?
| RogueFanKC chapter 31 . 7/16/2016
I can't say I have much respect for Sandwort, Primrose, or a lot of the Watershippers after reading how they regard Stonecrop. However, reading Campion's arrival and report about Vleflain gives me hope on how he's going to fare in the new warren.
You'd think everyone would remind the younger generation that Watership Down was founded by the outcasts, the misfits, the people and common rabbits who had nothing because they would never make it into the Owsla. The whole community was founded by outcasts. So it kind of sickened me to read that friendship and loyalty was worth ostracizing a fellow rabbit who simply does not know Lapine culture.
I'm glad Sam is adjusting to the colony as well as Derek finding her alluring but I hope that she confesses the truth about her bloodline too. And with the criminals still on the loose, I have a funny feeling I know what the trouble with Vleflain is.
Continue soon! :)
| Chipster-roo chapter 31 . 7/7/2016
It's nice to see a new chapter only two months after the last one.
This was a rather quiet chapter. It's mostly about the daily life of the humans, and how Sandwort is still a bully.
The descriptions of future life are very well done. It must have taken you a long time to do some research to make this as accurate as possible.
The main plot element in this chapter seems to be how Sandwort keeps bullying Stonecrop because he is Sandwort and hasn't fallen down any well or anything. He's being really nasty, and Stonecrop, being unable to speak Lapiné and also an idiot, is a prime target. While I did say in my last review that Stonecrop was my least favourite character, it's hard not to feel sorry for him with all of Sandwort's bullying.
As for Primrose...well clearly calling her "female" was a much worse offence than I thought. I was sure the whole incident would have been forgotten by now. Oh well, looks like it's Hawkbit's fault for talking too much again. While Primrose's attitude is completely justified, she seems to be having some sort of remorse, but then Sandwort shows up again before anything more can happen. Overall, this is quite a mess. How it's going to be resolved, I have no idea...
A short passage: "Sandwort was finding it very difficult to adapt here" you mean Stonecrop?
Another thing I want to talk about is a romantic subplot. It turns out that Sam is not getting shipped with Hotdog (like I thought at the end of the previous chapter) but with Derek. I'm not quite sure what I think of this yet...especially since nobody knows her surname and Alan is starting to worry about that. RogueFanKC really does have a point that she should have told them a long time ago.
Finally Campion shows up, causing Hyzenthlay and Violet to freak out for some reason. He talks about trouble at Vleflain. Is it Vervain? Is it weasels that Stonecrop will somehow scare away and make Sandwort look like a complete fool? Is it the human invaders? Am I overanalyzing? Either way, it looks like I'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out. I hope you will be able to finish it by the end of the month, because this is captivating.
Also, I want to thank you for adding my Around the World fanfiction to your favourites. What are your thoughts on it?
| RogueFanKC chapter 30 . 5/26/2016
Wow, this was quite the chapter!
I have to admit that I'm worried about Crowley and his men. As much as I hate to admit it, there is no way Alan and the family can stand reasonably against that many armed mercenaries and criminals. Even with the element of surprise, they need some powerful allies on their hand. And with Sam losing the letter Drake gave her, they may not be able to save the future completely.
I smiled when Hyzenthlay got immediately angry at Hazel in thinking that Stonewort was his son, although I had to admit that Alan's logical guess that Stonewort was the first Lagomorph before El-ahrairah was actually surprising. That stumped me because I didn't think about it that way before, but then in a way, it was surprising how you twisted it so that the blood samples from the past caused the events in the future, like a loop or a paradox. Clever, indeed.
I also didn't think how Stonecrop speaking in English wouldn't be able to understand Lapine, but in a way, it made sense, and I had to laugh at his ignorance at calling a doe a "female" but I do like he's a loveable idiot who means well and cares for Sam.
Ugh, I think Sam should just disregard the advice and tell Alan immediately the truth that she's Robbins' sister. The longer she keeps it secret, the more they will have less of a reason to trust her. At least coming clean when she didn't have to will earn their respect and it will subvert the entire "deadly secret revealed too late" trope.
And on another note, I'm worried about the relationship between Sandwort and Holly. If Holly wishes to repair his relationship, perhaps he could pass his role as ambassador to someone else because if there's one thing I agree on, he should try to fix and love Sandwort and be there for his son. Despite the insults and arguments, Holly still loves Sandwort.
Can't wait for the next chapter! Continue soon! :)
| Chipster-roo chapter 30 . 5/1/2016
It's been almost five months since the last chapter. Since then, I've finally finished reading TFWD and I've been posting my own fic. Anyway...
You had me convinced for a while that Sam's leg had been amputated. Good job with that. I sure hope Hotdog won't fall in love with her, though. There have already been enough romantic subplots in the original fic.
Then Stonecrop shows up having apparently not been harmed by the wolves for some reason that hasn't been explained. I'll be honest: Stonecrop is perhaps my least favourite character from any adaptation of WD. So I really like to see him behave like an idiot. I especially like the scene with Primrose. Absolutely priceless.
Sandwort was handled rather well, considering he didn't have his comeuppance yet...will he ever have it, I don't know. Also thank you for simplifying the family tree, in TFWD I think he was Holly's great-grandchild. It's really complicated...
It's been so long since the last update I had to go back a few chapter to see who all these humans are. Anyway, this scene is very well written.
Then there is the trouble with DNA and Stonecrop being related to Hazel and all...come on Hyzzie my dear, chill. Hazel isn't Hawkbit. He wouldn't do something like that. Also there weren't even other rabbits he could have mated with in the past. I understand your concern, don't apologize, and in the end everything turns out all right, thanks SP.
I'm still worried over where that plane will crash. Hopefully it will be in the criminals' camp.
Also chapter 29 helped me win a Create Competition on the CCZone forum, so thank you for that.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| Franco731 chapter 30 . 5/1/2016
I love this story! I wonder how they'll react to the mercenaries that arrived?
| RogueFanKC chapter 29 . 1/19/2016
Glad to see this update!
You got the entire chase and search and rescue scene done brilliantly! It was actually heart-stopping to read the wolf packs chasing them and how Bigwig tackled the alpha only to fall through the ice. Yeesh, as nice and peaceful as the future can be, you certainly showed the dangers of not only the wildlife but the weather.
All in all, I'm impressed with not only you describing the search and rescue but how lucky the humans are to establish a proper home with practically everything they need. Now my only worry is for Josie's son, Jamie, as well as Kenny and the other rabbits considering they're still out there.
I chuckled when Lucy did the massive flare; yes, her father may be a bit irritated, but he'd also be impressed. And I see Sandwort is still a bit of a brat, isn't he?
I do not look forward to Sam explaining who she really is; that isn't going to be pleasant. That said, I wouldn't be surprised if Alan is the first one to tell her that he doesn't care and see Sam based on her actions rather than her family.
Wonderful chapter! See you next time! :)
| Chipster-roo chapter 29 . 1/2/2016
THIS FIC ISN'T ABANDONED WOOHOO!
This chapter is better than the previous one, with all the action. The whole thing was very exciting, even if it was obvious that everyone would survive...at least this mission. When you get back to the invaders, I guess there will probably be mass death again...Anyway, I like the fact you used the idea of Bigwig falling through the ice like in the Christmas special in the series.
The part at the Down was also rather touching, especially with the love between Hazel and Hyzenthlay. Really a nice couple.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I too hope it will be available soon.
| Chipster-roo chapter 28 . 4/27/2015
Overall, this was a good chapter.
The part on the plane was well written. It was nice to see Haywood kill Travis, although I doubt one man less will really make any difference, especially since the plane that will crash soon. I just hope it won't crash on Watership Down or Vleflain like McEwen's helicopter crashed on Sandleford.
Nice to see Sam actually made it to the future alive, I was sure she had been killed. But with that injury, the elil (as a side note, the singular form appears to be "ela", not "eli") and the weather, she may not make it very far. Stonecrop will probably be all right, assuming he isn't injured.
One thing I never really understood was why Bigwig insists on keeping Hawkbit in the owsla. Hawkbit is perhaps the most useless rabbit of the entire warren. But he was often used on missions in the TV series, so it's all right here.
Good job on the cliffhanger. I really can't wait for the next chapter!
| RogueFanKC chapter 28 . 4/27/2015
I actually had to smile for Major Haywood killing Travers. Score one for the dying major; if he had to go out, he went out taking out a bad guy. Although I have to question Traver's parachute falling out of the plane. I cannot help but think that is a red herring.
And I also get the feeling this isn't the last we've seen of Heywood's plane.
I'm a little worried for Stonecrop actually, although not as much as I am for Samantha, especially once the others find out her last name is Fields. Granted, I hope they eventually learn the truth that she wants to help and was sent for a reason, especially with Stonecrop needing to come into the future but she's going to be in for a rough time, and I wince at the explosion that is going to occur.
I enjoyed seeing the descriptions of the feast for Frith's Eve (although I'm surprised that some of the elil are edible) and I thought the bit about Josie and her waiting for her son in the guest bedroom was touching. You wrote her hope quite well; even if it's a small hope, she's hanging on to it because it's all she has. Although I get the feeling Jamie will be appearing soon...
Forget the elil; I'm more worried about Samantha being around hardened and escaped criminals (although the fact its winter may make it easier since they'll probably die due to the elements and exposure if not the larger animals looking for prey) who are now in the future. Here's hoping they can defend the Honeycomb with that many antagonists. I also had to smile at the title "Lord Brock's Wood".
Continue soon! And my sympathies for the writer's block; it's never enjoyable.