Reviews for The Girl That Time Loved
Raphie114 chapter 3 . 9/4/2013
I wish there'd be a Reiko pov, see how Mitchi is in her eyes and stuff :(
And a small note here is, as human are imperfect and would never be, trying to make your character too perfect is kinda off putting, makes it less realistic.
And isn't Mitsui kinda OC? He's usually rougher than that, imo
sooo excited chapter 1 . 5/5/2012
y'know, i haven't read this story YET, but still i wanna congratulate you for an excellent job! Why? o c'mon, with 280 reviews, i bet it's a must-read fic! hope to see more of it... :D
Daio chapter 1 . 1/29/2011
Hm. What I noticed instantly (being an aspiring athlete myself) is that you gave the girl a 120 cm vertical leap. I converted it to inches and it turns out it's a 47 inch jump. I realize it's a story, but considering females are limited when it comes to such power movements (like a 47 inch jump). Perhaps something like a 30 inch jump or even upwards to 37 would be better.

It's a story, yes, but for myself, I tend to enjoy stories more when it's more believable in execution.
LittleSnowDancer chapter 1 . 7/6/2010
100% agree with Klynsma76 .

I found this story when I was in 5th grade, when it didn't even have more than 10 chapters out. It wasn't even on that I first found it published on (and was I glad when one day I just saw it in the SD fandom).

... I'm already in second year of my university studies and I still find myself reading this story every now and then... and it's funny how there's always something that makes more sense to me every time I re-read. Even now, having just read it for the 7th time. I'm able to appreciate it more because the technical details make more sense now that I'm in pre-med.

This story has been such an inspiration to me; it's what sparked me to write. Though I don't think there can be anyone out there as close to perfection as Reiko is, I think I've subconsciously made her my role model, the example I followed growing up. And though these days, some people would immediately label her and (possibly) the other characters as "Mary Sue's", I still admire their moral character.

I hope I didn't sound too creepy just now. I probably didn't make much sense... but to sum it up, I just want to tell you how much I adore this story, and you, for having come up with such an intricate and magnificent storyline.

P.S.

I always find myself thinking, "Dang, if I had the means, I would've turned this story into a movie." Haha! And I still think it. It's how good I think this story is... but I guess it'll be hard, considering everyone here already has an understanding of the background and personalities of the canon characters prior to their read. It's a shame though. :)
Klynsma76 chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
One of the best story's on fanfiction!
Mahen chapter 27 . 10/3/2008
what can i say, simply marvelous!

its the first fanfic not yaoi i found of slam dunk xD

i liked it a lot, although i'm not english native speaker, I enjoyed it a lot!

its one of the best fics i have read, that takes time so well worked on, it takes the spaces of time in a wanderful way, you feel the passing of time, i was shocked at some points in the fic, as I thought Reiko would die, but i pretty glad it didn't come true.

i liked you would work in a fic centered in mitsui, not as a ru-hana or ru-sen or hana-sen... xD

a very well worked story, with nice details in it, and i am glad everyone got to be with their loved ones.

althoug i would like to read a epiloge to know the funny events a the rest of the weddings, but for the rest of it i have to say i'm ammased...

it took me a little more of a week to read the whole story, but it was all whort the time, and i don't think i will be able to get of my mind in a while...

i hoe you continue to write, and if you do i will love to read it...

i frankly felt pretty well identified with mitsui at some points of the story...

well i have to stop it, i don't want to write a book...

i'll be reading the rest of your fics, and hoping to read more of them...

good luck!

salu2 / best regards / mit freundlichen Grüßen
fhclause chapter 27 . 5/10/2008
This fic is so cool! I'm so jealous you can write so good! you oughta write a book for all i this part of mitsui loving someone's something that i can't definitely imagine. he's a total gentleman! so caring, so loyal... (sigh)

i wish i'm reiko... thank you for writing a good story. you don't now how much i cry when i first read this story, when i read this story and when i finished reading this story. definitely one of the best!
TorchTheSky chapter 27 . 1/7/2008
Liked this story, the plot was awesome and so were the OCs. Good job
Swordsong chapter 27 . 3/9/2007
This story rocked from beginning to end, ane-ue. Best of luck on your studies, eh.
nakhodchivost chapter 27 . 2/14/2007
Yay, you finally update the story.

Too bad they have to end but it was such a happy ending that I couldn't bear to find fault with.

Way the go (ovation).

Any change for you to write another story of this caliber ?

Regards

nakhodchivost
Macve chapter 27 . 2/12/2007
Saa...I just feel tingly inside.

Very nice ending.
Cal reflector chapter 27 . 2/12/2007
FIRST TO REVIEW!

Now, I ask your pardon, for I need to get this raw, emotional reaction to your latest chapter out first before my chest bursts: A Triumph! The Happiest Ending I've Ever Read. The Men are Knights and the ladies Princesses! I am melted into an incoherent puddle on the ground from the sheer Happiness of it all. Fantastic, sublime, simply fantastic. And truly, even as my mind flashes back to when Mitsui and Reiko first met in the gym... They Lived Happily Ever After. What a journey, an experience of a life time this story was. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. It was superb.

Now before my mind forgets because of what my heart feels from the onrush of joyous happy feelings, the critiques I have: I understand that you've already given more time and effort to this project than any other fic writer I've encountered before, and accord you the highest respect for it. But this last chapter seemed a more demanding on the reader's ability to keep track of different lines of events and alternating POVs than previous chapters did. The events leading up to Reiko and Mitsui's wedding especially; there seemed to be great gaps after she replied yes to his proposal, as the view converged from Akagi and Miyagi on onehand to the Girls on the other until both POVs are united at the Nakamichi's estate and they see the bride and groom emerge. This is a difficult technique to pull off, and I couldn't but feel that the this climax, this union of Mitsui and Reiko, could've been that much stronger and united had the story been easier to follow.

The time jumps (Understanding, that you probably wished to finish this colossus of a story off) between critical points in Mitsui and Reiko's life also disjointed the ebb and flow of the story. After the long, long, long journey they'd taken, I was very surprised that you skipped over the detail of their wedding together and instead straight to the consummation (which was breathlessly hot). Same with the birth of their children, which with the wedding should have the culmination, I think, of the entire story; the ultimate conclusion, the HAPPY END of HAPPY ENDs.

It was apparent that you were intent on tying up all the loose ends for the major characters, and when Ayumi and Jackson's plot took over after Mitsui and Reiko, the story's unity became much stronger, as there was only one focus. I have but one small complaint here, and that is the way in which you brought Jackson and Ayumi together; a series of not just bad, but nightmare blind dates, two of which resulted in physical violence to her. The path to their realization of mutual feelings for each other would have been far more difficult, but more realstic, perhaps, had Jackson not had the luxury of protecting Ayumi repeatedly from offensive, vulgar men. It seemed too convenient for the sake of the plot. What if one of the blind dates had been a First Class Gentlemen, like all the men in the story have been? Perhaps Ayumi would've really had to decide then just who it was she desired, and Jackson too.

By extension, I like to make an observation: Minus a few rare small exceptions here and there, all the characeters in your stories are either Angels or Knightly defenders of strength and virtue. Everyone is looking out for the other, considerate, compassionate; the men are strong and the girls are beautiful, both on the inside and on the outside. The characters are black and white, the villains are clear and visible. No one has sex before marriage(!). This is not neccessarily a criticism, but the virtue and moral example and character displayed in this story is so perfect it seemed surreal at times.

At the end, it is the journey and process of discovery Mitsui and Reiko have taken over these long years that is the soul of this story, and what it sets it apart from almost every story that I've read (there is one, and only one, which is comparable to this story, which I may recommend to you if you are interested). The happy conclusion to their journey, signaling the beginning of the new phase of their lives together, which you dealt with in this final chapter, seems to fall somewhat short of your previous chapters in which you got them here.

Nontheless, it is a triumph, and I congratulate, and would shake your hand, nay, embrace you if I could ever meet you in person for this writer's pride of a masterpiece that is as long as it is wonderful and deep. Bravo! Encore!

Sincerely,

David Hwu

a.k.a. Cal-Reflector
tralalabwahaha chapter 26 . 1/1/2007
Your profile mentioned that you'd upload something after December 22nd. So...what happened? Not that I'm pressuring you, just wondering.

Good luck!
Swordsong Dreamdancer chapter 26 . 9/26/2006
Ne, ane-ue.

I hope my e-mail has reached you in time. I eagerly await your update, meaning I'll wait patiently. I'm rooting for you, for everything that you consider important. Ja ne, ane-ue. _
rurouni chapter 26 . 8/7/2006
Ganbatte, ne?

Thanks for continuing with this fic - it's the only one I return to ffnet for.

Take care, and good luck in the real world too.
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