|Reviews for He Knew Her First|
| hannahhme chapter 8 . 1/5
Love it! Can you post more chapters? PLEASE!
| coolkat10 chapter 8 . 8/28/2014
Please update ASAP! I LOVE THIS STORY and I know it's been a couple years since you updated but hopefully you don't discontinue or abandon the story!
| NeverBeyondRedemption chapter 8 . 6/12/2014
I consider that cliffy bullying. Love the story though.
| Mari Anne chapter 8 . 6/6/2014
Please please please please update soon!
| SmokesGurl20 chapter 8 . 2/18/2014
I know it's been forever since you update and you probably forgot about this story but I love it so please please please update soon
| PANDORASBOX chapter 8 . 2/12/2014
Ok please tell me you are not going to kill off a certain sea green eyed copper coloured haired trident welding man?
(A.k.a Finnick Odair)
| dareordoubledare chapter 7 . 1/5/2014
Damnit. I actually /wanted/ her to be preggos. Poor, sad Cato D:
| wolfess49ers chapter 8 . 12/14/2013
Mate, another cliffy? Dude really? Your soo mean! Just kidding, cuz like you said we all actually enjoy them. Just please update soon! :D
| mlynch13 chapter 8 . 12/5/2013
This fic is truly amazing. its only been eight chapters but i love it already! please update soon!
| GreekPrincess143 chapter 8 . 7/22/2013
So I'm confused. When did they first meet?
| Kelbesmiles chapter 8 . 7/16/2013
Update soon please! Love this story! :)
| WiseChic chapter 8 . 5/23/2013
pleeez update this story is epic!
| 1Dalltheway123 chapter 8 . 5/17/2013
Please update your story its the best Cato katniss story ever it's simply amazing please please please please please please please please please up
| Radio Free Death chapter 2 . 4/21/2013
[Poor Glimmer and Coral—not really—]
Wow, Katniss, you’re really turning out to be really unsympathetic here.
[The male from District 2 resisted the urge to vomit at the sight of both Coral and Glimmer.]
This is good, showing that he’s disgusted by what he sees. Yet it’s a bit weird for him to feel sick now when before he didn’t seem to have any problems brutally murdering two other children.
["The trainer at the plants station told me how to do it," he muttered back, his icy blue-eyes rolling in effect. "Good thing I visited that station too. I saved your life." With this, he sent her a cocky smirk.]
Hmm, that works too. I would’ve assumed he would’ve been trained at home, since he’s a trained kid. But maybe they didn’t recognize these plants or something.
[He continued to display ferocity. "Bet you it was Tai that killed her," he glared into the open air in front of him. "She was pretty much my only connection to home. Of course he would destroy all remnants of that. Her cannon must have shot while we were sleeping."]
He didn’t show any inclination that he cared about Clove though. I don’t know if I’m supposed to find Tai evil or not, but I doubt Tai killed Clove because of Cato’s connections with her.
[He would kill Marvel first for being a useless bastard and not stopping the idiot from District 4 and then save Tai for last for killing Clove in the first place.]
Uhm, how is Cato better than both of them? So he won’t kill Marvel because only one can make it out, but because he’s just too stupid to live? And Tai because he killed Clove? The latter makes a bit more sense, but really, would Cato have kept Tai alive even if he hadn’t killed Clove? What happened to Cato keeping Katniss alive because he wants her to win?
‘unhealthy snap’? The descriptions are way too poetic.
[A berry must have melted at her throat]
Berries don’t melt.
I’m not quite sure what to say about this chapter. I do like how it tries to make Cato likeable, but it’s really distracting to see similar characters who behave like Cato are brushed off as being evil and gloryhounds. Also, putting characters in place of what canon Cato would’ve done doesn’t make it better. It just makes it a bit depressing.
You could’ve made it really nice to have Cato defend Katniss and not have these shoddy explanations of taking it out on his group because they’re evil or stupid people. That further dehumanizes them. The Games already do that to the kids, you don’t need to make it worse.
The pacing is quite nice though and it doesn't automatically rehash what's been done, but replacing scenes with other characters can be a bit distracting.
| Radio Free Death chapter 1 . 4/21/2013
In the first bit you seem to be going for a lot of flowery descriptions of Katniss (I’m assuming), which needs to be toned down a lot because purple prose is never really good unless distributed in small amounts. And describing eyes as ‘orbs’ is not only cliché, it is wrong. Further on this, would someone look so beautiful even though she’s described as being thin and emaciated? This passage seems to judge attractiveness based on the modern American standard.
It’s a bit confusing to follow in when Cato actually fell in love with Katniss. Because it seems that he did the moment he saw her, but then he also mentions that she ‘snuck up on him’ and that’s when he started liking her.
Kudos on making Cato not a stock stereotype though! Yeah, he puts up a tough front, but it’s nice to see emotions other than his lust for killing.
["I'd never thought Prim would ever get reaped on her first year. She wasn't ready for the Games. She didn't deserve this." Sweet Prim in the Hunger Games? Hell, no]
I’m a bit confused. So Cato thinks that Prim, a girl he’s never really met, should be spared the Games because she’s only twelve. But Cato’s totally fine with everyone else being in them? You need to be careful not to make it protagonist-centered, as in everything revolving around Cato and Katniss and the circumstances are only bad because they happen to be in those circumstances to begin with and not that the circumstance itself is bad.
[Her silver eyes]
‘silver’ is a pretty Sue color for eyes. They’re grey.
Wait, Cato and Katniss already know each other before the Games? A bit lost.
["Could I stay here tonight?" The urge to protect her started now; even in her sleep he would guard her from harm.]
Eh, it’s already not being too subtle about him protecting this ‘delicate flower’ even though Katniss really shouldn’t be.
[Before she could stretch her path forward, a nearby scream was omitted and pure heroism kicked in her veins.]
That’s nice of her!
Peeta’s death scene was a bit melodramatic. The horrible wound he received should render him unable to breathe or speak, but he manages to get everything he needs to say before he dies.
[Aforementioned girl averted her eyes wearily.]
No, just say ‘She averted her eyes’ or something.
[Two days would pass before the two would encounter each other again. That was only after he had violently slaughtered a girl from District 7, having been rowdily encouraged by his fellow Careers:]
This seems to suggest that he murdered the girl because his teammakes goaded him to do this, but considering the bloodbath where he did the same to another boy, it’s hard for me to find him sympathetic.
Think you mean ‘defense’.
The ‘Katniss up a tree’ scene was nicely played in this alternative scene where his stupidity could be explained by him doing it intentionally. Though it seems to be too close to canon, when so far all the events prior haven’t been.
Overall, a bit confused. It was hard to picture some of the events without some prior explanation as to how things ended up the way they did. They knew each other before the Games, how? It's not that I don't buy them ever getting together, but it just felt that so many things were dismissed or hastily excused that it distracted a bit from the reading.
Then there's the fact that Katniss is special because Cato loves her and Katniss agrees that the Games are only awful because she was stuck with Cato. If he hadn't been there, she would've been fine with it, and Cato as well. In a way, this works because that's how it went in canon, but it's more distracting here because everytime Cato sees Katniss, he has to mention how much he loves her and how she always takes his heart when she leaves. You don't need to reinforce their love so many times. It feels almost desperate, like if the characters don't proclaim their love every moment they somehow think it matters less?
That's it for now. Onto the second chapter!