|Reviews for Skippy Lives|
| Edhla chapter 1 . 12/7/2012
Disclaimer: not familiar with the fandom, sorry!
This is quite a nice little ficlet, though, or a first chapter if you're planning on continuing it at some stage. You have some nice descriptions, particularly of action. And I really loved this: "eyes welling up with tears all because of this single stupid moment; all because of a game."
That said, I think that the immediate tense ("says" rather than "said", "does not" instead of "did not", etc) is a little cumbersome. I can see what you were trying to go for, but for the purposes of this story, I think that ordinary third-person past-tense would serve just fine.
The paragraphs, too, tend to be a little long and difficult on the eyes, and breaking them up might make this read a little more smoothly.
Overall, though, nice work, I enjoyed reading :)