|Reviews for The Fake Relationship ReMastered|
| Baby Huey chapter 10 . 1/2
I have notice that in several of your stories you have character chamber a round AFTER the have drawn their weapons on someone. In the military, and in law enforcement, if you are carrying a weapon you always have a round in the chamber. If you do not have one already set to fire, then you loose precious seconds "racking a round in the chamber" which could get you killed. Hollywood loves to have characters "rack a round" for dramatic effect. But to those of use who have served, it is ridiculous and, to be quite frank, embarrassing. Especially since they also always show the character chamber a round when they first pick up the weapon before holstering it. Which means that they just wasted a round by ejecting it and chambering a new one. So instead of having fifteen rounds in their 9mm (or eight in a .45 cal), you have fourteen (seven). It is absolutly ridiculous to rack your weapon every time that you draw it.
| Molotov chapter 16 . 11/6/2014
I think what I love most about this story is that it is so much different from your other stories. After all, you're not a professional writer, and you've intentionally limited yourself to writing stories about the same two people in love with each other. And so that means a lot of time spent at the well.
But this feels different, reads different. I like that a whole, whole lot. Whole lot.
| fezzywhigg chapter 3 . 5/16/2014
I understand the honey trap scenario but how does it work if Chuck doesn't know Becky is an agent? Is the thinking that once he falls for her,she'll let him know and then be able to control him? All that being said, I'm looking forward to see how things get resolved. Thanks.
| Guest chapter 16 . 4/15/2014
Good story, though extremely sappy.
There was an exciting story underneath that lovey-dovey junior high back and forth between Sarah and Ellie (you're totally practically already engaged even though you aren't really dating yet).
Chuck also seemed to be treated like a little boy by Sarah more often than a potential lover.
Overall, it was a good story.
| ivo1617 chapter 12 . 2/10/2014
I did not understand the last two chapters. Chuck and Sarah seemed more interested in being mad at Becky than in each other's well being. Instead of concentrating all of her energy on freeing Chuck, Sarah decides to get into an unnecessary fight just to prove a point. And instead of demanding to be taken to see Sarah right away, Chuck first entertains the thought of executing someone. If they are going to be a serious couple, their priorities really have to change.
| ivo1617 chapter 10 . 2/9/2014
Well how is that for irony? Chuck entered the show thinking that Bryce stole his college girlfriend, which was later revealed not to be true. Then Chuck ends the show married to someone that Bryce seemed fond of. We don't really know what happened between Sarah and Bryce, but still, maybe it was Chuck who was really the bigger ladies man of the two.
I also find myself wondering about your views of Bryce. He has done good work in the last two chapters, but you are not portraying him as the nicest guy either. I am still not 100% sure whether or not he will be a positive or a negative character in this story.
| ivo1617 chapter 9 . 2/9/2014
It seems that Sarah will have to start being nicer to Bryce, because that was a reasonably good plan. Well so far at least.
Bryce driving the Porsche is definitely a big deal. I don't recall Chuck ever getting that privilege. Lol, now you've got me wondering whether or not Chuck ever got to drive Casey's car.
I had a scary thought a couple of hours ago. How different were Chuck and Bryce really? We were told that they were different, but they roomed together in college and liked the same video games. So they must have had a good deal in common at least while they were in college. Oh and Bryce knew Klingon, so he had a lot of nerd in him too. I bet that from Sarah's point of view, anyone who knows Klingon is a HUGE nerd.
| ivo1617 chapter 8 . 2/9/2014
Poor Chuck. Nothing against Sarah and Casey, but it seemed like he had to fend for himself way too often.
I actually think that there was nothing wrong with the church scene. Sarah faces life or death situations all the time so it is possible for her to reflect on life and even pray from time to time. Besides, if she never reflected on life, she would have missed the opportunity she had with Chuck.
| ivo1617 chapter 7 . 2/8/2014
Well it seems that Becky finally figured out how to get to Chuck. She finally figured out that he is a sensitive guy, so crying would do it.
Call me crazy, but I feel that Chuck is back in his comfort zone now. He has been captured by bad guys for the umpteenth time and he will scream like a little girl and he will somehow buy himself enough time until the female James Bond and big bad John Casey get there.
Also what would Sarah tell Ellie if Ellie were to come home and see her? Will she be able to lie about losing Chuck? And does Ellie know what Bryce Larkin looks like?
| ivo1617 chapter 6 . 2/8/2014
This was definitely an emotional chapter. Though I find myself wondering whether or not the conversation with Beckman was over the top. There were times when she seemed like a scary old lady and there were times when she would listen. The one time she had a similar conversation on the show went much smoother, but Chuck did the talking then.
I did not understand the last scene though. Why would Sarah go and talk to Becky instead of talking to Chuck first? She already resolved her CIA situation, so why not try and win him back right away. I mean Ellie already did most of the work for her.
| ivo1617 chapter 5 . 2/8/2014
I am actually surprised that Sarah got out of that conversation without telling Ellie the truth. I guess she saved herself by admitting to loving Chuck, because if she was pushed a little more, she might have admitted everything.
Wow, you even had the Porsche covered. Which brings up an interesting question. If the other characters from the show noticed it, what did they think about it. Is it possible that people really thought that Sarah was a high priced call girl? Why couldn't she just work at the Buy More and drive a 1985 Crown Victoria like good ole John Casey? Hmmm, I am wondering if Sarah kept driving the Porsche in order to make a good impression in front of Chuck. Hey, guys try it and sometimes succeed, so it might work the other way around too. Not that Chuck ever seemed to care about cars too much, but still.
It seems that it will be up to Ellie to keep Chuck from being taken by the bad guys, because it does not seem certain that Sarah will talk to him right away. Besides, it would be pretty disappointing if Chuck were to waltz out of there the next night after Ellie made a promise to keep him home.
| ivo1617 chapter 4 . 2/8/2014
Ah yes, Chuck being Chuck. He is always unpredictable and he is really good at finding a way to upset the ladies. Sarah was asked for relationship advice, Ellie's advice was ignored and at this rate Chuck just might find a way to prevent Becky from doing what she is trying to do. Come to think of it, Sarah did have something in common with Chuck's other girlfriends - Chuck dumped them all in a pretty devastating manner.
The scene with Chuck and Sarah was very moving, but I think that Chuck was being reasonable. He has gone on a date with Sarah, but they were never quite a couple and technically it's possible for people to still be in love with an ex. And sense Sarah dropped the best friend thing in the last chapter, she ought to live up to it so Chuck asking her for dating advice is not as outrageous as it seems. Well from his point of view at least.
I am wondering whether or not Chuck is "cheating" on Morgan here. First he declares that Sarah is his best friend and then he is playing Call of Duty with someone else. I wonder how Morgan will react to the latter though. Will he worry that he will have to compete for Chuck's Call of Duty time or will he be really excited that Chuck has found the perfect woman? This latest development is worrisome for Sarah too, she never seemed to share any hobbies with Chuck.
And to finish things off, it seems that Chuck will have to answer to his sister next chapter. I don't know what Sarah will say to Ellie, but Ellie will probably hold the mere fact of Sarah showing up against Chuck. Also, if Chuck is thinking about a new girlfriend, when will Ellie ask to meet her? Now THAT would be something.
| ivo1617 chapter 3 . 2/8/2014
I have had a startling thought since I started reading this story. I find myself wondering how much sympathy Chuck deserves in this situation. You've done a good job describing everyone's emotions so far, but I find myself looking back to events on the show actually. Didn't Chuck basically do the same thing to Sarah by getting back with his ex girlfriend in season 2? Granted, that's later than the setting of your story, but it's still makes me think.
I found it a little curious that Sarah wanted to see Chuck. I understand that she wants to make things better, but is that really possible without telling Chuck the truth? It seems that she basically has to choose between Chuck's feeling and getting in trouble at work.
I also find myself wondering about the development of Casey. I kind of ignore his attitude in season 1, because he was told that he would have to kill Chuck eventually so befriending Chuck was out of the question. Now we are at the beginning of season 2, so I really cannot make up my mind about how nice or how mean he is. It is also interesting that he is using Sarah's first name more than usual, but he always looked out for his friends when needed. Maybe he will be one of those characters who will just have to step up and come through in this story.
I am having a hard time making up my mind about the last scene. I know that it was supposed to make things worse for Chuck, but he is already feeling pretty badly. Is it possible for him to feel worse than he already did at the beginning of the chapter?
And speaking of Becky, what exactly is her plan now? After Chuck turned her down, it will be kind of awkward for her to try again, especially if it has only been a day or two. And how will she get him to spend time with her again to begin with?
| ivo1617 chapter 2 . 2/7/2014
Well it seems that we have a case of the pot calling the kettle black in the beginning of this chapter. Sarah is also fairly thin and looks good enough to be a model...
I had mixed feelings about what happened next. Sarah telling agent Ivan about what a nice guy Chuck is was a very touching scene. But on the other hand I got worried about Sarah because being so honest in front of the new agent might not be a good idea.
It's only two chapters, but I already like the direction of the story and the purpose you write with. Chuck gets "dumped" in chapter 1 and has multiple problems to deal with in chapter 2. In addition to figuring out how to deal with a break up, he will also have to figure out how to deal with a girl that seems desperate. Maybe Chuck is upset enough to have a rebound relationship, but will it be with someone who claims to be lonely enough to ask Lester out? It seems that we will find out whether or not Sarah is right about Chuck being a nice guy.
The other big question is whether or not Chuck will find out about Becky's real job before or after she tries to seduce him. And Chuck being Chuck, he will probably ask lots of questions about whether or not things between them are real. And if Becky were to succeed, will Chuck ask the obvious question as to why he is allowed to sleep with CIA agents now?
And finally it seems that Ellie will not let this go. For more than half of the show she was in the dark, but she was somehow always right when giving Chuck advice. Also will Ellie notice the Porsche outside of the yogurt shop and put two and two together and figure out that selling yogurt is not Sarah's real job?
| ivo1617 chapter 1 . 2/7/2014
Well this was an explosive start. I never thought what would have happened if Sarah had put an end to the cover relationship. Though now we probably know how Sarah felt all the times Chuck dumped her.
Something tells me that once again Chuck will not do what the CIA expects him to do. I mean he did end one cover relationship in season one. The other big question is how long it will take him to get over Sarah. In the very first episode Chuck was still not over his college girlfriend until he met you know who. So I assume that there is a good chance that the new agent will have to put up with a lot of moping from Chuck.
It seems that Beckman has underestimated just how much Sarah has accomplished. One of the things Sarah had going for her is what a good impression she had made on Chuck's friends and family. Fooling a heartbroken Chuck is one thing, but fooling his smart and protective sister will be harder. If Ellie were to tell Chuck that a woman is bad for him, he might listen. And anyone who takes over for Sarah will have to put up with Morgan and all the crazy people from the Buy More. And then there is Chuck's constant video gaming and his Tron poster...
Speaking of Beckman, I was very surprised that she did not get fired in season 3. Her complete trust of Agent Shaw was a complete disaster.
Overall, this was a very well written chapter. Your description of everything was nice, simple, and detailed.