Reviews for Blazing Flame
AStarElvenLight2 chapter 1 . 7/2
Loved it! SO poignant and beautiful . . . :)
WalkingInTalaria chapter 1 . 5/10/2015
You probably do write better poetry than George Lucas does. At any rate, you write better poetry than I do. I really liked how the last two lines left open the hope of redemption that eventually came.
Laptop Chat Killer chapter 1 . 3/4/2015
Ah, finally a fic in the Muse Hunt that is in my fandom! And it is poetry to boot. Fantastic!
I had a very hard time caring about the characters in the prequel trilogy because I found their motivation be lacking and their emotions to be stilted, but if you had written the script instead of Lucas, who is a great director, but a terrible writer, I would have liked those movies as well, if not better than the original. In a way, your writing also reminds me of Poe because of the cadence and rhyme.
My favorite part is the first two lines of the last stanza. Talking about the flickers in his shattered eyes gave me chills.
Nice job. My one suggestion would be to take with out and make it without in the first stanza.
Mwac chapter 1 . 2/27/2015
Liking the rhyming scheme right off the bat. Awesome. I've never seen the Star Wars movies, so I apologize, but I'm pretty ignorant lol.

What an emotional poem about loss and love between a father and son. Everything flows nicely, and the imagery was very clear.

You have the most incredible talent to write poetry. Great job, Celt.
Scoobycool9 and LuckycoolHawk9 chapter 1 . 2/23/2015
I will admit that I am not the biggest fan of the star wars franchise but I love this poem because it shows how Anakin succumbs to the darkness so beautiful. It shows how once you lose everything you have nothing to gain. It is also interesting to think that the fire burned a new identity in him as a whole. It comes to show how even though Anakin is lost, he still has hope in his world and can still be brave. It also shows that the Chosen One is ignored, but not forgotten as a whole. I also like the way that Obi-wan feels betrayed because he is losing his first apprentice. Everything in this poem is so raw and real. I love it!
Midorima Kazunari chapter 1 . 12/24/2014
Congratulations on being named Hostile Takeover's SAtC. I've just gotten back into the Star Wars FF fandom with the announcement of the new movie and it was nice to find something so well put together.

I have a horrible time with rhyming poetry so it was especially wonderful to see how well you handle that. I love that it rhymes, but isn't so heavy-handed that it sounds like Dr. Seuss.

The imagery you used brings Mustafar fire's to life in both his burning and in his eyes. Very good job.

Even without the author's note at the end, it was very clear who was who. Be more confident in yourself. You are a good writer.
JasmineRaven chapter 1 . 12/21/2014
Hi Random Celt! Congratulations on having your poem chosen as this week's SAtC!

In my opinion, this poem is very well-written. It describes the events and emotions of the characters in those final scenes of Revenge of the Sith in a powerful, descriptive, poetic way. Not only does the poem flow nicely, but it also rhymes (I don't know why, but I like it when poems rhyme. I know poems don't have to rhyme, but for reason I prefer it when they do).

Some of the line in your poem that particularly stood out for me were:

["An angels wings burn in the dark."] I liked your use of symbolism in this line with the "angel" symbolising Padme and the burning possibly symbolising her death or heartbreak.

["A ragged breath, an outstretched hand... But you left him there, in the burning sand."] I thought this line represented, in a powerful way, how Obi-Wan basically left Anakin to die.

Overall, I think this is a well-written poem. And, yes, you most likely do write poetry better than George Lucas. Haha!

Well done! Keep up the excellent writing!

Jaz
A True Hufflepuff 13 chapter 1 . 12/20/2014
I did love this poem! You are certainly the master of poetry, and coming up with a Star Wars poem? Honestly, this is awesome!

You've certainly earned your poetic license; your rhymes are very smooth and your metaphors are brilliant. I like the fire theme you've got going. The poem's about Anakin slowly being consumed by burning rage and lava. I like how you've tied the two together; the descriptions of one thing apply to the other just as well.

How you managed to squeeze in so much description is beyond me, but boy, it blew me away! And so many different types, too. "shattered eyes," "angry tide," "burning sand," that poem's got to cover everything in my writing teacher's list of descriptions (though personification is the only one I can remember the name of...)

The angels wings part was a little unclear, but that was the only thing I didn't catch. Plus, your note at the bottom cleared it up.

As always, wonderful job. Keep up the good work!
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 1 . 10/13/2014
Nicely done. I love how you use the rhyme to bring out the emotions even more prominently, and - daresay - ironically, with how the contrasts like spark/dark and tide/sand etc. bring out a similar flux to the rhymes.

[Too late you saw, Too late you cried] - random capital in there. :D

[Chosen One / Dark Lord] - a little off topic, but Harry Potter reference. :D Though there's still a Chosen One and Dark Lord in Star Wars too; I just see the Dark Lord term used less often there I think.

I also like how you've used punctuation here: clever pauses and emphasis, particularly the ellipses in "an outstretched hand..." - though the second last stanza, the colon in the second line strikes me a little odd.

But a gorgeous poem. You've brought out that particular scene beautifully.
Edhla chapter 1 . 10/13/2014
Heya :) I'm not canon blind when it comes to Star Wars, though I don't have detailed knowledge of canon, if that makes sense :)

One thing that I really have to give to you here is that your attention to rhyme and rhythm is very good (in a poetic climate where rhyming couplets aren't appreciated as much as, say, blank verse.)

I did find the AABB rhyme scheme to be a little sing-songy for a poem about loss, and some of the punctuation seems extraneous (an outstretched hand... might read better without the ellipses?) But the last stanza in particular is strong and carries the mood you want to convey there. I wonder if "yellowed" eyes could be upped with a stronger and more evocative word, but I don't unfortunately have any idea what that word might be :p

Anyway, very much enjoyed this. Thank you for writing x
MissScorp chapter 1 . 9/13/2014
Hi there Celt! I’m definitely not fandom blind and I know the point of the story in which this poem is based definitely. In fact, the entire Anakin/Obi-Wan scene is about the only part of ROTS that I still watch with relish because it features some of the best dialogue in the movie (delivered by the always fabulous Ewan McGregor). That said I have to say that I thought you did well to capture the drama and angst and tragedy that is the relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan.
For me this here: ((But slowly flames grow from the spark,

An angel's wings burn in the dark.)) really represents the true moment when Anakin completely fell to the darkside. What he did to the Younglings in the Temple, what he did to the Separatist’s, it all plays a subtle hand in his fall. But when he raises his hand and chokes Padme, the one he’d be proclaiming to do this all for? That is the moment when Anakin ceased to be Anakin and became Lord Vader in full. Vader would never protect Padme, his angel. She stood in the way of everything he wanted to achieve and that he convinced himself he’d accomplish. So when it looks like she has betrayed him (him being Vader), he rids himself of her. And then convinces Anakin that it is Obi-Wan’s fault for his actions. Anger makes one reckless and fear makes one blind, both of which Anakin had become at this point.

The most tragic moment in the entire battle between Anakin and Obi-Wan came at the end, which you represent here: ((A ragged breath, an outstretched hand...

But you left him there, in the burning sand.)) by revealing how Obi-Wan, even after everything he knew Anakin had done/said chose to leave his fate to the Force rather than have his death on his own conscience and hands. Some people would say that this was a flaw in Obi-Wan. I disagree. I believe that this shows how strong of a Jedi he actually was. He left his emotions behind, he cast them off and instead of acting out of vengeance and anger, and he left it to the Force to decide what fate Anakin would suffer. At the end he stayed true to the Code and remained true to himself as well.

The repetition here: ((No requiem of silent tears,

His yellowed eyes betray his fears:

No requiem for the Chosen One,)) on (requiem) solidifies for me how Anakin is slowly being consumed by Vader and that there will be no funeral pyre for him, no celebration of his life after death, no words to remember the man who’d been known as the Hero Without Fear. His descent into the darkness will be remarked upon by nobody, because his deeds as Lord Vader now outshine everything he once did as Anakin Skywalker.

Minor nitch:

It’s just me, but going from the first part of this stanza that rhymes here: ((Too late you saw, Too late you cried,

Into the blazing, angry tide

That burned his soul, and seared his heart,

Your tears fell, lost in the dark.)) to the second that doesn’t is a bit of an abrupt departure. I’m an old school writer that if I’ve started a poem off to rhyme, I try to keep that flow by ensuring that every cusp ends with a rhyming word. That’s just me though. The writing of the stanza’s themselves is quite lovely and works to showcase the tragedy that is inside these two characters. This is just my opinion and I’m by far not an expert upon poetry.

In all this was a very lovely piece that represented the destruction and emotional devastation of the relationship between Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi beautifully. Excellent job!
Kinners chapter 1 . 7/8/2014
That was cool! I never thought of myself as having an eye for poetry, but I really like this. One word of criticism though: in the fourth stanza you repeated a word. Instead of saying 'requiem' again, I would choose a word like 'solace' or 'comfort' or something. Still nicely dramatic, though. Heck, I never really liked Anakin, but I loved this poem!
Great Angemon chapter 1 . 7/2/2014
You and your poems, Celt! Feels, feels feels!

I liked how you said "Your tears fell, lost in the dark". I don't know if you meant it like this, but it makes me feel sort of like Obi-Wan is sinking into darkness from the loss of his best friend, sort of like how Anakin fell when he tried to save Padmé.

The blazing flame is an interesting word choice. It's a very good way to describe Vader though, because he's just a destructive force, but he's also so fragile.

That ending was perfect! It reminded me of when I was little and I read the Star Wars novelizations... It said that when Vader was talking to Luke on Endor he was hoping to be set free, and "Yet in his heart, a shard of Light Shines still into the blackest Night" was such a beautiful way of putting that into words

Overall, great job i absolutely loved it
Valandil chapter 1 . 7/1/2014
Again, 3 points (I seem to be reviewing stories much more than usual)
1: You captured that vital moment when Anakin fully turned to the dark side so well, incredible. I'd give you something, but I don't have a credit card. :\
2: I find it interesting how you make the reader the voice, the one telling Obi-wan the results and consequences of his actions, makes for a great perspective
3: Again, 2 good points, 1 criticism. I had no clue whatsoever that the Angel was Padmé, it seemed far too non-descript of her.
starlight.moon.princess chapter 1 . 2/14/2014
Warning - While I know the basic story/overview of Star Wars, I'm rather fandom blind here, I'm afraid! (I know, I'm horrified by it too :P) I have done some wiki research to try and understand this, so I hope my review won't miss the mark completely!

First off, I'm really impressed by your use of rhyme in the poem. Rhyming poems are perhaps the most difficult to write, and I've come across very few on the site, but I think you've managed it wonderfully here, so well done! :)

I really like the little details you've added here, like the idea of the angel's wings burning - I'm guessing that refers to the fact that Anakin/Darth Vader thought Padme had betrayed him?

I also really liked the idea of 'requiem' for Anakin, and the way you've shown a metaphorical death and rebirth in him switching sides from the Dark to the Light. Also, I loved the addition of [yellowed] in the line, because it becomes so much more effective with that single word, showing how he's almost completely transformed, but that there's still some part of him that recognises the horror and madness of what is happening.

"You's" - Obi-Wan's - grief is extremely palpable here in the second stanza of the poem. The idea of his tears being lost in the dark is lovely, and there are so many meaning to the line - Anakin turning to the Dark Side, Obi-Wan's death, and also the idea that Obi-Wan cares about Anakin more than almost anyone (with the possible exception of Padme) does.

The ending was lovely, with the little hint to the events of the future and the fact that the Light in Anakin will eventually overcome the Dark for that single, crucial moment.

This was lovely - well done! :)
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