Reviews for Guardians of Ga'Hoole: Origins
Sherlock's 2nd Blogger chapter 4 . 3/9/2013
ok, hooked! Just a little confusing. might want to add some puncuation. and when people are talking, skip to another line.
ex: "So, if you don't want to die, tell me where the Guardians of Ga'Hoole are!"
I then fell asleep and had another vision. "They are here. They are lying in wait."
"It's about time! By the way, you must kill parents now!" Kludd said.
"You said that I didn't have to do that!"
"I changed my mind! Do it now!" I stayed motionless. "I'll do it myself!" Kludd said. Then with every ounce of hate in his body, he killed my parents.
"You're next!" I again was motionless. "Why aren't you begging for your life?" Then, I pointed upwards with my wing. It was Soren and Twilight charging towards Kludd.
"How dare you wound the innocent and bully this young owl!" Soren said.
"Is that the best you have brother?" Kludd said with a smirk.
"No, we are ending your tyrannical rule!" Twilight said.
"Guards! Kill the young owl over there!" Kludd said. So, two guards came charging at me as Kludd escaped. "This isn't the end, Soren! This only the beginning of a war that the Guardians of Ga'Hoole cannot win! The Pure Ones will reign supreme!"
there are also a few grammar mistakes.
ex: "He also killed my parents as well."
But really, I was hooked from the second chapter! Keep it up!
tlc234stars chapter 2 . 4/1/2012
Yep a cool chapter. I hope you feel well from your sickness. Good luck and can't wait to read more! Please update more and please make the next chapter longer!
tlc234stars chapter 1 . 3/31/2012
A Gr8 story and please update more! A nice chapter though!