Reviews for hamartia
thehazeleyedloser chapter 1 . 11/23/2013
this is beautiful, maybe everything these two would ever have succumb to. sometimes, i think on what prims games might have turned out to be.

all in all, well done.
— deanna
Cheese and Onions chapter 1 . 10/5/2013
I loved this. It's simply perfect!
Also hope chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
HOLY CRAP HOW DO YOU DO IT. This is, in a word, beautiful. Everything about it is so raw and realistic and convoluted with emotion. I love love love how you portrayed Prim and the way you gave us a look into the hopeless resignation of their relationship from both sides. It's just moving, how you use words to form a story in one-sentence pieces. I want to know how it ends x.x but seriously, absolutely beautiful
a sweet madness chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
ahhhh i can't handle this piece i just asjdkhfkl it's so amazing and complex and it makes me not able to words ugh

anyway, translated to english, that roughly means:

{ As the sole Victor of the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games, he is forced to watch over and over as Cato, atop the Cornucopia, throws him backwards (Peeta reels but just barely manages to stay on the golden horn) and slashes at a surprised Katniss, whose hunter's reflexes have failed her for the first and last time. }

nooo, my babyyy. he shouldn't be forced to watch her die he lovesss her nooooo

(i lied. this isn't going to be in english, or understandable/coherent. oops.)

{ He almost laughs at the irony of her cremation: ashes to ashes, he can't help but think miserably as the girl of his dreams goes up in flames for the last time. }

irony! i love it. also, i love the phrase "ashes to ashes" so there's that too. and peeta pocketful of depression, let me love youuu.

{ He accepts Haymitch's proffered flask after the ceremony, and the way his head feels after the white liquor has burned its way down his throat makes him think that maybe his mentor is on to something after all. }

not an alcoholic, i swear, but "the way his head feels after the white liquor has burned its way down his throat" - YES. and also, i like the way you wrote this, but thank god you don't make him an alcoholic and forever moaning about how much he loves katniss and isn't ever going to find someone that great ever again and look, there's alcohol, let me drown my sorrows in it. 'cause that would be cliche and expected, so yay for that.

{ Had he been conscious at the time, Peeta would have asked that the Capitol's surgeons left the scar on his upper thigh intact—but they fixed him, made his skin beautiful and baby-smooth, and left him with only the hazy memory of protecting Katniss Everdeen. }

no no nooo he already lost her you can't take this away from him too i can't handle this. so many tears.

{ They keep all of her things locked away with her father's, and Peeta wonders if it is always so easy to box up and hide away the lives of people you love. }

so deep. i love this line so so so much and it gives me so many feelings and i can'ttt. stop making me feel things

{ At first she says no, horrified at the thought of marrying her dead sister's almost-boyfriend—but when a girl from town gives Peeta an appreciative once-over the next day, she clutches his arm protectively and the deal is sealed. }

i really like this because tbh when i think of peeta/prim, the first thing i think is that, well, it's /wrong/, because he loves katniss and together they're the boy with the bread and the girl on fire and she needs someone like him to balance her out and they belong togetherrr and besides, prim is katniss' sister and so that's just weird. so i think it's nice that you didnt make it all "peeta and prim have always loved each other but were never able to be together and now they are and butterflies rainbows unicorns" and this is way more realistic and complex and explains away the "wtf" factor of peeta/prim so i can concentrate on loving them. which is totally why you wrote that line.

{ You look beautiful, he tells her sincerely, and she knows that she's a vision in white—just not the vision of his dreams. }

no stop fuck you i feel so much stoppp

{ Prim knows it's wrong, but sometimes, she really hates Katniss, who overshadows her even in death. }

ohgod i love that you made prim not-perfect and it totally fits here and it's so right and skdjahf

{ She marries Peeta not because he is rich but because she knows that he belongs with her sister, not with any other girl in town—and, since Katniss is gone, it is now Prim's responsibility to take care of what she has left behind. }

crying. i hate you so much.

{ drenched in moonlight and white liquor }

the imagery. omg you are a genius this is so beautiful howww

{ "I'll paint you," he offers one day, making her beam for the first time in months, but she looks wrong (nose slightly too long, hair too dark, eyes more grey than blue) in every picture. }

this is their whole relationship in one sentence and prim always feels like she's just trying to measure up to katniss, especially because death glorifies everyone, and catch up to her and sometimes she can't and it's not her fault but she always ends up feeling like she's neverenough. or maybe that's just me projecting everything i feel about them onto this.

{ Even though they're married, he doesn't touch her until she kisses him one night, and then he doesn't want to but he can't stop, and she pretends not to hear the sheets whisper her dead sister's name. }

KATNISS IS EVERYWHERE. "and then he doesn't want to but he can't stop" siiiigh

also, everyone's pretending, always, and i love it. there's just so much denial and lying (to others and to themselves) and oh man it's just great.

{ She is Katniss's sister, but her fingers aren't rough and calloused and her kisses are sweet and sure and he is not strong, not anymore. }

peeeeta baby 3

{ Some days, they can almost pretend Katniss Everdeen never existed at all. }

if you're just going to give me feelings, can you go away?

{ Truth: Primrose Everdeen has had a crush on Peeta Mellark for as long as she can remember, but then they got married and everything was ruined. }

you can't do this to me stop itttt seriously it's just not fair and you. can't. do. that. - you can't make me love them together and want them to be amazing together and fix each other and then write something as sad as that you just can't. fuck you.

{ "I almost married the baker, you know," Mrs. Everdeen says dreamily one day, "but I really loved your father," and all Prim can think is, At least one of us got it right. }

god i love snarky!prim.

{ Sometimes she thinks about leaving him, because this relationship is nothing but pain and destruction and unwanted memories—but then she realizes she couldn't stay away if she tried. }

you are evil i am sobbing and it's all your fault and seriously, is this what you live for - to write stuff that makes me want to cry? i don't do feelings LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME I HATE YOU

{ He thinks, for a brief second, that she might really, really have a chance—but then a Career from District 2 slits her throat at the Cornucopia and he feels Katniss die all over again. }

oh, i thought i was crying before. i was wrong. i'm crying now. really, you're the worst.

{ There are days when she can't remember if she's still playing this game for Katniss or because, deep down, she's always wanted everything her sister had. }

i love this. i don't know how else to explain all my feelings, so that's it.

{ "You don't love me, do you?"she asks, her voice sad but matter-of-fact, blue eyes searching his, but his silence says everything. }

i can't take any more of this emotional torture. thank god this is the end of this fic. if this wasn't so well written i would just never read anything else you wrote ever again. also, way to go you totally made me ship peeta/prim when i was never super into them before. anyway, this was awesome and brilliant and blah blah blah can you just not break my heart a million and five times next time? 'cause that'd be awesome, thaaanks. signing off as a puddle of tears, cool.
Desktop Warrior chapter 1 . 4/11/2012
Just letting you know that I haven't read/watched THG, so this review may not be the most useful. I'll try my best, though.

AU or not, I honestly like this style of writing. I think it's a great way of getting to know a character (or characters) through little snippets of their lives. And this one is no exception. I love your take on Peeta and Prim's relationship: how it's not one of overwhelming romance, but one almost like sibling love. They're not at all romantically attracted to each other, but they know that despite everything, this is the best they can do. And so they respect each other, living out their marriage as best as they can.

Of course, this doesn't mean that they're happy. These snippets tell a tragic story that makes my heart break, even though I know nothing about the context. Peeta is the archetypal tragic hero, losing everything precious to him and yet staying strong throughout. I really admire his character, more so than I do Prim's for some reason, even though Prim suffers a lot as well. I suppose I expect Prim to be strong in the face of adversity. But I'm going on a tangent. My point is, this piece showcases a dark, brutal world where even victory does not mean happiness, where the only hope is that which one makes for themselves. Though a bleak concept, I'm nonetheless left with a positive feeling: that Peeta and Prim can make things work and find something more in their lives worth living for.

One last thing which I nearly forgot to mention: great choice of title! I'm not sure if hamartia's a Hunger Games concept, but as you might know, that word refers to something shameful or sinful in ancient Greek. And I can definitely see that as a theme here, with the world of the Hunger Games being in a state of "shame." Or maybe Peeta and Prim's relationship is what's "shameful" at the moment, and it's up to them to get past that notion of hamartia.

Definitely a great story to get me even more interested in the Hunger Games fandom that everyone's been raving about, Ky! Great job.
bleachers chapter 1 . 4/10/2012
This confused me just a little, but I'm sure it's just because I don't know the 1sentence journal, so.

I really liked this - I thought the title was kind of perfect.

The broken, mixed, non-linear(? - can't really tell there) style just made it perfect, because I think a fic like this wouldn't do as well in a different format.

Peeta/Prim is an interesting pairing. Before this, I'd only seen it in friendship form as a Mockingjay canon!compliant.

But this was O_O

My favorite, probably, was #15. It was just a bit chilling and really powerful.

But yes, I loved this, and I hope you keep writing for the fandom.
darkaccalia520 chapter 1 . 4/9/2012
I admit, I haven't read The Hunger Games nor have I seen the movie yet, but I am interested in doing so. And, I have been reading some of the fics, so I am familiar with some of the characters. Therefore, I decided to read this one. Anyway, I really like the song you chose and all the prompts. It is so creative and it fits with the story wonderfully. I've seen stories similar that do these little prompts, and I just find myself wishing I could be so awesome. And, I mean that...I think that this is truly awesome, and the story is so captivating and intriguing. In fact, I'd love to read more. Thank you. Well done. :)
mintlita chapter 1 . 4/6/2012
I'm not much of reader of the Hunger Games, but this was rather interesting. It was easy to read, and even though I'm not familiar with the characters, it was still pretty enjoyable. :)
Lazerwolf314 chapter 1 . 4/6/2012
Although broken into tiny bite sized bits, each and everyone pack a powerful punch. There is so much raw emotion and none of the fluffy borders most come to expect in any fic. I absolutely love this. .
Sloan33 chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
Mmkay, so this was interesting. honestly, I never thought of other het pairings during the Hunger Games. My mind was on possible slash pairings. You did a spectacular job on this, and I love laugh. It's my absolute favorite and I just smiled at the thought of Prim and Peeta laughing themselves into hysterics.

If you're not opposed to slash, maybe you'll read my Peeta/Cato fic when it's up?

Sorry for self advertising: You did a really wonderful job on this. Love it, love it, love it.
The Bitter Kitten chapter 1 . 4/5/2012
I actually like this a lot. Each sentence flows into the next, like little flashy vignettes. It's intense, but it's fantastic just how -much- you can cram into a sentence.

If I had to change something about it, I'd write the story and shove the prompts in the A/N at the end in the order you used them, because they kept distracting me from the story.

Is there any special meaning in the title?

But yeah, good job.

Tune4Toons chapter 1 . 4/4/2012
I've always wanted to do these kind of challenges! The length of each of the 50 sentences and the content in them forces/encourages you to improvise and incorporate a lot. I really like the raw emotions behind it. The absence of the missing piece that haunts the overall puzzle—their relationship—really keeps that theme of "what is" and "what can never be". It draws attention to the fact that faking something doesn't satisfy what is truly desired.

Great job with this one!

Wendy Brune chapter 1 . 4/4/2012
Awh, yay for some actually good Hunger Games fiction! This was such a weird ship, but you really surprised me with it. I was expecting some out of character fluff, but you really made it work! I love the one-sidedness of it all. It was much more believable and powerful that way. Also, making Prim have a "bad" side - her jealously of her sister - was very well written. I think she was over-glorified in the original book, even though I love it so. You gave her real flaws that made her more believable.

My one criticism - besides the format, which irritated me at first until I got used to it ) - was that I kept expecting Gale to pop up. I'm surprised he didn't have anything to say or do abou8t the matter. After all, Katniss asked him to watch over Prim too, and I just can't see him not reacting to Katniss's family moving in and the eventual marriage. It's not even that I'm a Gale fan, as I'm not, but I think that was the one point where the story was lacking. I couldn't drop my suspension of disbelief when it came to the lack of Gale.

I also loved your interpretation of Peeta. Too many authors make him the weak one, so I was surprised and pleased to see that he was the one who survived the games in your AU. People tend to discount Peeta. I also loved all your details about his time as a mentor, especially when he mentors the girl from the Seam. It's a stark contrast to the rebellion in the book, and I think it shows, in it's own way, how important Katniss was.

This review is a bit ramble-y now, but I will say that I really, really liked this story. I'm looking forward to more Hunger Games pieces from you! You're a wonderful writer who is very skilled at making me buy a ship I normally wouldn't.
SiriuslyPeeved chapter 1 . 4/4/2012
For such a brief piece, you've worked in a lot of depth of emotion. The AU situation is just sad but I've always thought that the way things went in the books was just a little too neat and tidy (except for Prim :( ) so this was satisfying to read.

Each section is like a short prose poem, I think that numbers 3, 45, and 5 were my favorites. Beautiful work and I am glad I found it!
mutemockingjay chapter 1 . 4/3/2012
Ky-la, I love you. Seriously.

There's just so much rawness you can put into a single sentence that astounds me-and despite the out there pairing, not only does it make sense in this context, it keeps both of them in character, especially Peeta. And I'm particularly picky about how Peeta is written. ;D

Maybeh some Finnick/Annie, por favor?
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