Your stories have been delightful! This is my first post, but I plan on rereading everything and will make amends on that account later.

Just had to say I've noticed several LOTR references throughout your stories, but this chapter contains my favorite: the password to the Hogwarts gates is melon, while the password to the Doors of Durin is the Elvish for friend: mellon. Bravo!

"McGonagall has a slightly different view of what constitutes 'candy.'"

Possibly the best-crafted crackfic it has ever been my pleasure to read.

Great look at what was wrong with the logic of the Potterverse (and Grond too, who knew?), but my favourite bit was when Snape knew exactly the right questions to ask the girls...

"Chosen one? No. That's not what they say in Hufflepuff. When he gets bored in class, he's the Dozin' One. When he's snooping around, he's the Nosin' One. When he walks in late, or stands up in the hall, but doesn't leave right away, he's the Posin' One. When he's theorizing, he's the Supposin' One…"

LOL.

Hmm, sounds like Hagrid has surreptitiously begun the Thumping already. Clumsiness is a great excuse.

Cracky goodness. (I especially love Snape's pondering about protective clauses in his contract. He should be on a winner there.)