|Reviews for Internal Yearning|
| animefangurlcraz chapter 28 . 9/12
wish there was more sex involved but this is such a beautiful story nonetheless!
| maymayearls chapter 28 . 7/20
Thank you for sharing your great story!
| WhiskeyStraight chapter 28 . 5/29
I suffered through this rot due to the reviews. It's not often I come across a story with scathing reviews and I couldn't believe it could possibly be that bad. I was wrong. It's abysmal.
If anyone out there reads reviews first, click the little x. Turn back now.
Unless you enjoy misogynistic slut-shaming, deplorable spelling, questionable grammar, missing words, and inaccurate sexual situations.
I'm sorry you hate yourself. I'm sorry you hate women. It's always disconcerting when the misogyny comes from inside the house. I do hope you've taken the time to properly educate yourself. I hope you've learned your body is your own to do with as you wish and no one has the right to judge you for it.
It doesn't make you less than to sleep with multiple people and I wish someone had taught you that before you took it upon yourself to lash out at sexually active women. Perhaps it's jealousy. Perhaps someone told you that your body is shameful and so is using it. It isn't, but this story is.
| Seniia7 chapter 1 . 5/15
| Azra chapter 1 . 12/14/2019
I couldn't get through the first chapter. There are so many run-on sentences and random details unrelated to the dialogue. Good luck with future writing though.
| Guest chapter 28 . 12/13/2019
| bookwormH.M.327 chapter 22 . 11/29/2019
Bitch please, like I would forgive harry (not calling you or anyone else a bitch)
| StMungosHealer chapter 2 . 7/1/2019
annnnnd I'm officially invested in this story and it's only chapter 2
| AnnabethSaysHi chapter 1 . 6/9/2019
I have several critiques.
Firstly, I did enjoy the story. However, I can't read properly without feeling insulted for all the girls who did lose their virginity. This story is so sexist - just because Hermione's a virgin, she's better than other non-virgin girls. And you specifically mentioned how Draco has had a lot of sex with other girls (along with the luck of having a big penis), so that makes him more experienced and better than most men. Uh, seriously? The amount of discrimination in this fanfic is unbelievable. Girls who had sex aren't sluts. And there's nothing wrong with a small penis or not having too much experience. This is the trouble that I had much trouble overlooking.
You have some grammatical errors, no surprise there. Your word phrasing is sometimes a little strange, but it doesn't distract the reader from fully engaging in the fanfic. Perhaps you should consider getting a beta?
Another major issue I have trouble overlooking is how OoC you made Draco, Hermione, Ron, Harry, and pretty much every other character. I personally don't like how mushy and squishy you made Hermione, and I definitely don't like the way she easily succumbed to 'being Draco's mate' and all that nonsense. He bullied her for six years, for goodness gracious! And I understand that draco is part veela, so he would feel a little more protective of Hermione, but it's still disconcerting. I also don't like how Ron and Ginny turned out in this, although it definitely contributes to the plot. Ron isn't that evil, and neither is Ginny. But I can see where you're coming from. Lastly, Harry is practically a different person here. Harry is supposedly stubborn, suspicious of people who don't like him, and too trustworthy of people who treat him nicely (read Goblet of Fire). Hopefully you see the problem?
I did enjoy the fanfic, but these are my biggest complaints. Other than the fact that you continually write long boring thought processes for Hermione.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/23/2019
Also you glorified Hermione virginity as something that made her pure and some how better than other girls... in the same breath you also made Malfoys sexual promiscuity and exploration before H into something that made him more desirable. While I personally think that anyone of any gender should be spared any slut-shaming or prude-shaming... I would have found it somehow less irritating if your story didn’t show a clear double standard... especially one that’s as trite and traditional as the concept that women lose their purity when they have sex and men gain masculinity when they do the same.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/23/2019
I couldn’t keep reading... it’s crazy how much sexual freedom you gave your male characters and how much you seemed to encourage/appreciate all the sexual exploration they did but how often you had Malfoy slut-shame some girls for just looking at him... that’s fucking gross man. Slut shaming is never okay.
| AngelinaPriorincantatem chapter 23 . 5/21/2019
Ok... this fic is insulting...This overflows misogyny. Not only is there a great lack of knowledge about how vaginas work, demonstrating the lack of sex education and the excess of sexist pornography (dear, they NEVER get loose for fucking... goooood! we give birth and it could still be tight) but also there is a constant psicological violence... and I don't mean it in the way a veela dominates its soul mate,(there is no problem with dom/sub relationships... i love that...), but rather the fact that women in this fic are insulted if they do not want to have sex, or if they want to have sex. They are insulted for being saintly and for being whores, they are insulted in one way or another.
Then there is de grammar and ortography issue... that is not a problem... you should get a beta. I have one that helps me with my storys...
Any way... I hope that, if you continued writing, you have improved in terms of the content you offer, in quality and variability (you are very repetitive, again and again you mention the same, your characters repeat themselves and repeat themselves again and again). I also hope that you do not give up, because you had a good idea, and that is the FIRST AND MAIN thing to write good stories.
I hope you do not feel insulted with my review (I exploded, reading that Draco lost his virginity with a girl of "loose vagina" was the straw that broke the camel's back) ... but seriously ... you should stop promoting hate to the prostitution, and women who enjoy sex ... you should stop comparing some women with others under the judgmental MALE EYE ... it is terrible. Or at least if you're going to write a story full of misogynistic and macho content you should clarify as author "That there are things that are not right with your characters" ... many young girls consume fanfiction and learn to naturalize gender violence.
Sorry if I have mistakes when writing, English is not my native language.
I greet you with my heart!
Angelina, from Argentina
| reallyseaweed chapter 28 . 5/15/2019
| reallyseaweed chapter 27 . 5/15/2019
| reallyseaweed chapter 26 . 5/15/2019
okay. i'm glad Harry is back on his consious