Reviews for In Their Place
F chapter 1 . 1/16/2014
Some grammatical errors

"I was going to say you looked a lot like my dad," she said as she studied his familiar, but human face.

There should not be a comma. This should be:

"I was going to say you looked a lot like my dad," she said as she studied his familiar but human face.

Or you could use dashes:
"I was going to say you looked a lot like my dad," she said as she studied his familiar-but-human face.

"Okay, it's nice to meet you Mr. Grey," she said shaking his hand.

Correction:
"Okay. It's nice to meet you, Mr. Grey," she said, shaking his hand.
s chapter 1 . 1/16/2014
Sorry, bro. I feel bad for not praising you. Here are some things you did well:

(just realized that the rating was M, so I should have realized there'd be inappropriate stuff. What's done is done, though)

* The Esme confrontation - I thought that was pretty hardcore of Esme, and I love the way you wrote that. It seemed really Esme and also nicely confrontational and 'douse of reality' (yes, douse, as in "to douse with water"). I liked her threats, too, and the ending was pretty funny. Poor Bella XD although that would have been REALLY awkward.

* Also, the way you had Carlisle calmly handle the situation without being too mean to/harsh on Bella. That was nice and in-character.

* 50 shades of thievery - nice satire.

* I haven't read 50 shades, so I can't comment on how well-done that was, but ick! disgusting.
s chapter 1 . 1/16/2014
You sound like a Team Gale person, which I don't mind; I liked her with Gale. I think you could have written a resolution to the third section where she confronts Gale; that would have been fascinating. I would actually love to read that. However, I disagree that Katniss was "settling", though I think that's an interesting take on Katniss's situation. Other than the confronting Gale part, though, I don't think Bella's advice was good.

Katniss Bella. Sorry, bro.

I don't have that much of an issue with Bella's choices, but it's BS to say that Twilight and the Hunger Games are "unfairly" compared. They are compared fairly. both protagonists are as their authors intended them. It's just that Collins intended Katniss to be a strong and eventually broken character, while Meyer intended Bella to be a teenage girl who gets a fairy-tale ending. You were right in the first section - Bella is a hormonal teenage girl with her only ambition being to settle as a sparkly housewife. Whereas Katniss wanted to save her sister's life and stop her country from tearing itself apart. Katniss is a much stronger character with much more important concerns. She's also a much more complex character. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with there being one story out there about shallow ambitions being achieved; it's Bella's life, and it's good that she's happy. It's also wonderful that there's a story with a happy ending where no one has to die; there's much less angst and broken feels that way, and I like the occasional book/story that does that. But let's not pretend that Bella could ever compare to Katniss in terms of suffering and sacrifice and accomplishments, much less counsel her on any of it. She learned to love? Congratulations. Katniss led a Revolution.

Bella's being a bit of an idiot in assuming that Katniss's problems could be solved as simply as her own. (Seriously - you think the two love triangles are comparable? Gale might have killed Prim. The worst thing Jacob did was to rapekiss Bella.) It looks like she inherited her husband's penchant for being a condescending jerk. She can't relate to anyone, can she? Also, let's not forget that the resolution of the love triangle happened not because they had a heart-to-heart (which they really didn't; they manipulated each other and eventually had some confessions between themselves), but because of a freak bit of werewolf genetics. The only reason Jacob stopped loveing Bella was because he imprinted on a newborn girl (which is mildly disturbing). It all happened by chance, which means Katniss's situation might not have been solved the same way.

I liked your disclaimer about the characters from 50 shades belonging to Meyer XD I've never read it, but I heard it originated as Twilight fanfiction, is terrible, and is somehow popular even though it doesn't deserve to be.
Guest chapter 1 . 11/16/2013
That was very interesting-I am very glad you wrote it. I have always thought (giving her sacrificing attitude) that Bella has handled things very well. Although she was pretty slow to see what a manipulating jerk Jake was. I hope he has grown up!
Cris.P.C chapter 1 . 10/20/2013
I totally loved it. It was so amazing and so funny, OMG! XDDD I loved the part about Carlisle and Esme, LOL. I wanted to read something like that so bad! I'm so tired of Bellisle! The part about 50 Shades was great too. XD And Bella and Katniss... amazing again. CX I think you portrayed all of them perfectly, you're amazing. :D Thanks a lot for writing! x)
Lobisomem chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
That was gr8, tnx a lot!
deadaccount15 chapter 1 . 6/19/2012
I can't explain how much I loved this. I hate this Bellisle shipper. Bella is like the most boring, stupid and pathetic character ever. How can people see Carlisle with her? That's... ugh. Carlisle belings to Esme, Esme belongs to Carlisle, end of story. Not wanting to belittle the Bellisle writers but this shipper is just the most pathetic pairing ever. Not for Carlisle, of course.

And also I don't anything about The Hunger Games or even do care about it, but the matter is: I loved it. ;)
Caroline Trainotti-CarolCullen chapter 1 . 6/13/2012
continuation:

I knew Esme give Bella an earful and I would not have got anything to anger or be jealous Esme.

ice? Carlisle, is no longer necessary biggest 'ice' than Bella has received from Esme. Who ordered Bella to be offered. well done!
Caroline Trainotti-CarolCullen chapter 1 . 6/13/2012
wonderful job! excellent work! thrill me a lot and deeply! it touches me and my feelings!

but not if I had hit my head as hard as I would be 'over' of Carlisle, I insinuate to him. No chance, no way. Not that he isnt handsome! He is very handsome! But the question is another. My feeling of respect for his marriage is too strong to be broken. The respect and admiration for him and Esme, the lasting union of these two is going much further. And it would be difficult to break. Would not it be a hit on my head, or his eyes that I bewitch and do think differently, to lose track and reason.

I did not think I would react so, to read and imagine Esme and Carlisle get. I think even I know not what they really feel, how much them affect me. How deep is this great feeling.

maybe I'd be speechless too, and mouth opened like Bella, but for starters I would not have caused it (only if by chance I saw them making love. but it would be too hard, my heart beating denounces my presence).

if Esme was beside me she could hear my heart, I think it accelerated and jumped. I think I almost had a heart attack.

I figured they would end up taking each other, gave a little envy of Bella, wanted to be in her place to see -but of course without cause them/provoke them.
cesme lover chapter 1 . 5/18/2012
my favorite quote xD

esme:"but how could you for one moment think my brilliant husband could be attracted to a high school student who has no interest in furthering her education or raising a family, has the maturity level of a hormonal teenaged girl and her biggest ambition at the moment is to become a vampire and bang my son?"
hinckle123 chapter 1 . 4/26/2012
THANK GOD!

There's nothin I hate more then crappy little Bella Carlisle fics which totally disgust me,

Well done, I enjoyed this thoroughly and I hope anyone that actually reads those awful cheesy "bellisle" fics will appreciate your more then valid points in this story.

Ignore the haters, this fix was awesome!

&

E
hinckle123 chapter 1 . 4/25/2012
THANK GOD!

There's nothin I hate more then crappy little Bella Carlisle fics which totally disgust me,

Well done, I enjoyed this thoroughly and I hope anyone that actually reads those awful cheesy "bellisle" fics will appreciate your more then valid points in this story.

Ignore the haters, this fix was awesome!

&

E
TeamCullenx chapter 1 . 4/7/2012
Ignore the hate! It made me laugh! To be honest, people who hate, are just jealous of awesome you write, and how amazing this was!
Sleepy Illusions chapter 1 . 4/2/2012
It won't let me leave a second review, so I unfortunately had to sign out for this one, but I have to say also that it is a line in your summary that is the nail in the coffin for me. In fanfic, no character has a "proper place".
OnceAWriterNowAReader chapter 1 . 4/2/2012
Originally, I was not going to comment on this at all, and just not say anything to you personally about it, because this is your story and how you feel about the fandom and ships, but since everyone knows I'm a huge Bellisle shipper, I wanted you to know that if I do say something to you about it (which I'm about to) that I would actually do so in a way that you would know it was me and be able to respond. This is the first time I have left a comment on this, and I have a feeling you won't like it.

This was in no way, shape or form funny.

I think everyone knows that you not only dislike the Bella/Carlisle pairing, but you all but look down your nose at Bellisle writers. You think that we lack inspiration and creativity. You think what we write is pointless and meaningless. Well, I hate to point this out to you, but fanfic is fanfic is fanfic, so if ours is pointless and meaningless than so is yours, because as I said, fanfic is fanfic is fanfic. You can't publish it. You can't make money off it. The only thing it is for is entertainment, and everyone has different tastes of entertainment.

Would you write this type of "crackfic" based on the fact that someone has different taste in music than you? Or perhaps taste in food? Or way of life? Because that is essentially what you have done here. All because you do not like the Bellisle pairing, and you think Esme/Carlisle is the stuff God made the world with, does not mean that your beloved pairing is the best and the end-all-be-all in the fanfic world. All because you do not like Bella/Carlisle does not mean you should be looking down your nose at Bellisle writers, and you do. It's always been obvious to us Carlisle/Bella lovers, and now it's there for everyone else to see.

And I personally think if Carlisle had, for whatever whacky reason, ended up with Bella that you'd be all over Bellisle with just as much fervor and would be looking down your nose and mocking Esme lovers the same way you have done here to Bellisle and its writers. I'd bet the million dollars I don't even have on it. I also have to say to your belief of our lack of inspiration/creativity that you are so far from being accurate that it's laughable. I think it takes a heck of a lot more creativity to write a non-canon pairing than a canon one. And you know, I don't really like reading about Esme with Carlisle, but I never once wrote "crackfics" mocking the character or that pairing simply because of my dislike.

I have to say that I was really disheartened by this story. You haven't written a funny plot. You have written your personal opinions in a spiteful, petty way that not only aims to mock the pairing, but the people who write it. This was nothing more than you injecting your personal distastes in the most narrow-minded, callow way. This was really sad and disappointing to see.
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