|Reviews for FamiliarS of Zero|
| Benedict Cucumberbatch chapter 29 . 4/24
*Sniffles*, oh my gawd... please... *bursts into tears because I finished*... but to be honest, this was one of the absolute BEST stories of zero no tsukaima on this website that I've read. Great job bro.
| Guest chapter 29 . 12/3/2014
I'm noticing a serious difference in writing quality/style compared to your later stories. For example, Acolyte of Zero was posted a little over a year after this one. I wouldn't call myself a grammar nazi but I do have an eye for the little things, and it's definitely noticeable how different both stories are written. Thing is, even the author's notes match, it doesn't seem to be a case of one guy posting his own someone else's stories. I'm inclined to believe they're by different people entirely.
The alternative is you hugely improved after this one story - in a little over a year? Very... strange. I haven't had the time to sample your other stories, possibly written in the interim, but it's still very odd. I know because English isn't my native language, and throughout school I dealt with peers whose own command of the language veered wildly from poor to almost as good as mine (it's not much of a brag, but at least I know I've managed to pass off as being American when posting on forums, and being able to fool native speakers is a decent test imo, and I *know* my countrymen generally don't give a damn that their English remains laughably poor, I hang out on local-language forums too and can easily make comparisons). I spent a large portion of my school days reading pretty much anything I could which explains my command of the language, my peers would - predictably - just read textbooks and do enough to get by, meaning passing written exams. TL;DR: I know it's not easy to improve your grasp of a language, and the huge difference in quality between this story and at least one of your other later ones posted is extremely remarkable. Remarkable enough to remark on.
Hey, it's great if it's really just you, and not you and a beta/ghostwriter. I myself know I have little writing talent even though I'm capable of long-winded monologues like this one. (If I write something, it'll have few if any grammatical issues but it'll be pretty dry and possible resemble an info dump - years of reading instead of socializing tends to do that to someone; but at least I'm aware of it).
So... what was the point of bringing all that up? It's not like I really care if you wrote the stories yourself, had someone beta and massively rewrite huge swathes of text, or outright cribbed someone else's work. Meh. Just saying it's noticeable, is all. Like I said, it's almost like seeing one of my schoolmates with decent command of English write this story, then someone much more skilled write something like Acolyte of Zero.
Anyway, this was a pretty okay story. I didn't really have any issues with the OCs, except, as OCs go, they were written noticeably enough as OCs at first. See, this is one of the things someone with a good command of the language will notice. How you introduced them in earlier chapters was quite awkward. On the other hand, practically no trace of that awkwardness exists in Acolyte of Zero. Like I said, it's like two different people entirely writing.
Ugh, getting off track again. I was saying, this was a decent story, if a tad annoying at times since I generally don't care much for OCs. Still, you kept their background mention to a minimum for most of the time except for the later chapters (understandable, since you were wrapping up). I'm not one of those idiots who has a stroke any time original content is put up. Of course, they still fell into the "way more powerful than the series crossed over with" trope, but at least you took care not to shove that in readers' faces. That last bit where Cog took care of the whatsitsname by himself in the desert was a brief diversion so it wasn't that bad.
All in all, a fairly decent read, albeit someone expecting more of, say, Louise - the actual series MC other than Saito - would be annoyed at her basically being relegated to a bit character. Eh, whatever.
| Anonym chapter 29 . 10/13/2014
Such a good read. Wondering why there is so little review.
The beginning doesn't left much to be desired, since the dialogue feels too much text cramped into a paragraph, but later it becomes better and the description becomes vivid. The plot twist are interesting and refreshing. Hope to see more of your work.
| KailSakray chapter 29 . 1/12/2014
| NotSoSlimSh4dy chapter 29 . 10/3/2013
i enjoyed reading this in one stretch
| Partsu chapter 29 . 8/3/2013
Skipped 25 chapters to the end for the lulz, got the whole story from this last chapter.
Might read later properly but got fluttery feeling from this last chapter so this got to be good. :D
| aznxa21 chapter 29 . 6/5/2013
Wasn't expecting much coming in but I have to say im impressed itsa very good story.
| Red Death chapter 3 . 4/15/2013
Story has serious promise of going in a new and interesting direction... HOWEVER.
You have a serious issue that makes most of what I've seen almost unreadable.
You MUST separate your dialogue. Any time you switch from one person speaking to another you MUST start a new paragraph. This is a basic law of all fiction writing. It is NOT optional nor open to debate.
In this chapter alone you have several instances of up to four people speaking at once, with no clues to who starts speaking when another finishes. It takes so long to figure out what's going on, that you've lost most reader by this point. They'd moved on to another story. This on top of some grammar issues makes this very difficult to understand.
I can easily see the skill here, and this is a premise I've not seen before. I look forward to your other works.
Fixing this dialogue issue, and having a qualified beta (me for example) would improve your readership by leaps and bounds. More readers, more likes!
| Sonicfanx1 chapter 29 . 1/29/2013
You have a very interesting civilization here..I'd like to request from you to, if its ok, to create a similar one.
Anyways the entire story was a blast, i spent the entire night up untill 5 am reading this. Superb job. I must complain about minor grammar issues and Cog changing throughout the series drasticly. I also noticed, Cog is an abbereviation to Commander Of Genocide. Also, I'd love to see more of this civilization in more of your works.
Has no more random descriptions of OC..for now
| kiyang064 chapter 29 . 12/31/2012
I finally got around to reading this and read through it in a day.
It's great. I love it. I want more. All that good stuff.
I skipped over starting this fic many times before over other fanfics because the title and description didn't sound interesting at all, but I couldn't be more wrong. That must also be why there's so little favorites and reviews? I don't know.
My main complaint is how scene breaks aren't totally obvious. I'm reading a paragraph and suddenly the next paragraph is something else.
| Junky chapter 29 . 12/26/2012
I reread it (I'm rereading everything of yours now that I have time) and it was as awesome as ever. I do wish you had time to reply to reviews though!
Hope you had a merry Christmas, and have a happy New Year! :)
| molten2metal chapter 29 . 7/12/2012
I thought it was a good story. There were some parts I thought were boring (I can't recall them now) but all in all it was a well spent 10 hours.
| molten2metal chapter 16 . 7/11/2012
Oh My God! I can read dialogue now! Anyway, good story so far but I do feel it has lots its comedy moments since the start of the story. Maybe the story's just getting serious.
| nekuromansa000 chapter 29 . 5/14/2012
I thank you for such a grand piece of art. It was a joy to read this, and I hope to continue reading such stories in the future. Thank you.
| Blacksword Zero chapter 29 . 5/13/2012
I really liked read your story,thank you!