Reviews for You Call That a Kiss?
Guest chapter 1 . 4/5/2013
one of the best oneshot hayness fanfictions i read. you should really write a second chapter.
DubstepPhoenix chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
Am I the only person who pictured Haymitch as Withnail from 'Withnail and I' when reading the books?
Tigers Like Red Blood chapter 1 . 5/1/2012
Awww Haymitch being sweet!
TheRealTayler13 chapter 1 . 4/12/2012
plz update soon cant wait to read more
Nana Karin chapter 1 . 4/11/2012
I liked this "Hayniss" fanfic. I love the idea of Haymitch and Katnis together (WOOT TEAM HAYMITCH!) It wasnt hot and heavy like most M rated fanfics are but it was Sweet and Romantic and thats why I like it _
Emerald Imagination chapter 1 . 4/6/2012
Very cute! Loved the fluff and the sex scene was scorching. Great job!
xSerenityIsn'tAlwaystheAnswerx chapter 1 . 4/4/2012
OOO I LOVED THIS! I wanted to read a Kaymitch story and yours is the first I've read. I think they look adorable together, especially with who they chose to play him.
FeedBack chapter 1 . 4/2/2012
Well overall, this was a pleasant enough story. The whole love scene was pretty great! However, there are a lot of mistakes you could correct in order for this story to be even better. Note, that this is not a flame! I'm only trying to give you productive criticism. 1.) The story seemed to switch tenses quite a bit throughout. Parts were in past tense, mixing incorrectly with the actions of your characters. 2.) I found some of the dialogue to be childish and out-of-character. For instance, I found the conversation about Haymitch's dead family to be strained, and unnecessary. You need to use dialogue and thought-processing that coincides with each character's personality. 3.) Not being nit-picky, but I did catch you switch from first-person POV to third-person. It was brief, but noticable. 4.) There were a couple of spelling and grammatical errors, that would be easy to fix. Along with your vocabulary: I feel that for a story with this type of theme deserves a more-developed choice of words. 5.) Just a suggetion, but I think you could have expanded on the emotions that Katniss felt, such as the desperation that drove her into Haymitch's arms, or the panic and sorrow that grows from being in the games. Given, you did a fair job at adding plot, I feel you should develope even more with this story. You have promise! But keep practicing and you can do great things with this piece.
FeedBack chapter 1 . 4/2/2012
Well overall, this was a pleasant enough story. The whole love scene was pretty great! However, there are a lot of mistakes you could correct in order for this story to be even better. Note, that this is not a flame! I'm only trying to give you productive criticism. 1.) The story seemed to switch tenses quite a bit throughout. Parts were in past tense, mixing incorrectly with the actions of your characters. 2.) I found some of the dialogue to be childish and out-of-character. For instance, I found the conversation about Haymitch's dead family to be strained, and unnecessary. You need to use dialogue and thought-processing that coincides with each character's personality. 3.) Not being nit-picky, but I did catch you switch from first-person POV to third-person. It was brief, but noticable. 4.) There were a couple of spelling and grammatical errors, that would be easy to fix. Along with your vocabulary: I feel that for a story with this type of theme deserves a more-developed choice of words. 5.) Just a suggetion, but I think you could have expanded on the emotions that Katniss felt, such as the desperation that drove her into Haymitch's arms, or the panic and sorrow that grows from being in the games. Given, you did a fair job at adding plot, I feel you should develope even more with this story. You have promise! But keep practicing and you can do great things with this piece.
amyleann chapter 1 . 4/2/2012
love love love love love! :) great writing