|Reviews for More than just Teammates|
| BrotherToBattle chapter 1 . 7/25
Holy canoles. The basic premise is good, and I like all the elements (Harry/multi, Harry stops being manipulated, etc.) the story just isn't catching my interest because it seems like it's on rails towards an eventual Harry/chasers orgy after he slays Voldie with his wandless fiendfyre or some silliy shit like that. There isn't any conflict so far, which is fine, but it doesn't seem like there will be any significant conflict. No character development in sight, but I'm not the most perceptive person in the world and it might be more subtle than I'm used to. Maybe a bit early for judgement, but the very direct way that you've structured this story along with the themes just seems a bit unimaginative. I'm all for a badass!Harry story, but if there isn't any development from canon, i.e he goes from canon harry to badass!Harry in essentially one quick chapter, it just doesn't interest me, unless it's well explained (i.e. blocks on Harrys magic or something). The retconning with the chasers liking Harry is kinda weirdly portrayed, but could've been interesting if there was a flashback from their perspective where they either gradually or suddenly realized they had some feelings for Harry. The very neat (as in tidy) way that Katie explains their attraction for him just smacks of dues ex machinia. You can argue just about anything is dues ex machinia in fiction, obviously, but it's when characters interact and grow and change that interesting and exciting stories are written. I'm being harsh, but it's mostly because it's a promising bit of fanfiction that I wish was written a bit better. There isn't much Harry/Katie stuff of any significant length that appears worth reading. I hope I don't make you angry, and you sincerely listen to what I've written. Although it's a rather different story than you've imagined and written here, take a look at the writing style in author transportation's story HP and the Muggleborn Chaser. The characters interact with each other, change because of it, and organically the story changes to follow suit. At least, that's how it seems from the readers perspective. Although this is a rather long review, I hope I've given you some things to think about, and hopefully improve your own writing up to my demanding standards. :-)
| noylj chapter 1 . 5/29
How can thieves, of money and the heart, not be bad?
So far, it appears that Bumbles and Weasleys are stealing significant money and have forged a marriage contract-and these are going to be good people?
| Noble Korhedron chapter 15 . 5/24
Ending was just a bit too "pat" for my liking. Story was good though...
| Noble Korhedron chapter 7 . 5/24
Daphne and Tracey, eh? Even after you said you probably wouldn't? I say the more the merrier, and quickly - before you change your mind AGAIN!
| Noble Korhedron chapter 5 . 5/24
Hmmm, sometimes the twins leave me shaking my head - and this is one of those times! *rolls eyes in disbelief*
| Blazeb79 chapter 15 . 5/8
Not real? , lol they might not happen but a guy could dream lmao. Great story btw.
| good fic chapter 15 . 4/27
| Hamilton chapter 4 . 4/20
Amazing, the way Katie's first time with Harry in Ch. 4 ( s/7984462/4/More-than-just-Teammates) seems to mirror Hermione's first time with Harry in Ch. 5 of Radaslabs "The Harem War" ( s/5639518/6/The-Harem-War)...
| Wishihadanangel chapter 3 . 3/10
I don't know if you will ever change this as the story is old but at the end of this chapter you wrote "Harry's wives" when mentioning the girls.
I'm pretty sure they are nor married, yet xD
| Anduyon chapter 4 . 1/10
Scene between Katie and Harry is pretty much completely stolen from The Harem War by Radaslab. Stoped reading at that point.
| yuigfhf chapter 5 . 12/22/2014
have to put this in before lemon starts...
i noticed a hung no-no that happen when Harry was talking to "penny" the thing is, if Percy is working for the ministy, then penny cannot be a "Head Girl' or "Prefect" because she (penny) was already a "Head Girl' in the third book Harry Potter and the Prisioner of Askaband (sorry for the mispelling) so penny would have graduated last year and could NOT be a "Head Girl'
| yuigfhf chapter 3 . 12/22/2014
little mistake i noticed
please hote, that 11 lines from the bottom before the (AN) part of this chapter, you stated that Harry's girlfriends are his "wives"
please fix the little mix-up
yuigfhf (my real account name, just cant sign in)
| CrystalEridani chapter 2 . 11/1/2014
Dude... this is so far from how Dumbledore would really react it's not even funny. Dumbledore is a master of half-truths and outright lies, so unless Dumbledore and many other people are AU'd, this is something that I couldn't read without going 'what the hell'. I'm sorry, but while this is a good story, I can't read it while you have Dumbledore so far out of line of his character. He sure as hell wouldn't tell Harry everything, let alone swear a magical oath to do so. Oh, and on the topic of magical oaths, you never specified what would happen should someone break it. Magical oaths are as such "[Name here] swear on my life and magic [terms of the oath]. So mote it be!" or something similar. Also. Grammar. Punctuation you seem to have an inordinate amount of trouble with. Fix this story, please.
| Lady Sylvanas chapter 2 . 10/18/2014
Hmm. A betrayal story with good weasleys, and a Lord Harry with no marriage contracts. This is one of a kind,
| noylj chapter 4 . 9/15/2014
Seem like some very odd sexual girls and why is Hermy ignoring harry?