|Reviews for The Forgotten Contract|
| G the Headmaster chapter 21 . 7/21
| ExRevolution chapter 12 . 7/12
"then you should bring the matter to my attention at once. I will handle the matter at once." That was also weird. I think it would've sounded nicer if it said "then you should bring the matter to my attention at once. I will handle it."
| ExRevolution chapter 11 . 7/12
It is... So strange... So bizarre to see "1" used as "I" as in: "1 figured the two of you would figures things out in your own time."
Also it's "on" your own time not in. :P
| ExRevolution chapter 5 . 7/12
Why did you use the number one in place of the letter 'I'? It is very weird/confusing
| TheDarkMan19 chapter 20 . 7/9
thoroughly enjoy the story. could've done with a bit less of the "clueless male" cliche, but that's rampant across the entire fandom so I can ignore it. Otherwise very enjoyable though I notice occasionally your "I"s appear to be switched with 1s.
| IIEarlGreyII chapter 28 . 7/3
A good story over all. It ended a bit...oddly, I feel, but overall I really enjoyed it. At least it was well written!
| mckertis chapter 5 . 6/19
So the puffs are the house of whores and manwhores ? That's a new twist for sure.
| Simianpower chapter 12 . 6/2
Meh. Melodrama for the sake of melodrama, and not even all that well written. Cliche "caught in the act" scene, followed by a rushed "make up and move forward" scene. The story would be better if all of that were just cut out, because it makes all the involved characters seem more like caricatures than real people.
| Simianpower chapter 11 . 6/2
Apparently the Fidelius doesn't actually work in your world. If Harry's the secret keeper, and he hasn't seen Lupin since the Ministry battle, then how would Lupin be able to come over for the party? Same for the rest of the guests. If it's just been Harry and Susan, then NOBODY else could come by because he hasn't shared the secret with them. Why even bother to have spells if they don't do anything?
Also, how's the Firebolt Harry's "signature"? He got it third year, used it in two games (the first was when the Nimbus got broken), then fourth year Quiddich was cancelled and he only used it in one task, and he was banned from playing fifth year. That's it. He used it maybe three times ever.
The Ginny/Susan thing: SO contrived!
| Simianpower chapter 6 . 6/1
By this point I'm pretty confused about the timeline. Stuff's happening off-screen, as it were, such as Susan getting her permit, but last I read a few chapters ago, Rufus was going to become minister "tomorrow", so about a week ago by this point in the timeline. And yet in canon he only became minister at all AFTER (and because) Amelia was dead. So IF he's minister (which isn't actually clear), why has there not yet been an attack? As I said, the timeline's confused, and thus it's unclear what's actually going on.
| Simianpower chapter 2 . 6/1
Lots of typos or misused words in this. "I wish it to be at and end at long less." "Sinus's will", "things in which to discuss", etc. Sometimes one or two per paragraph. This badly needs a beta!
Other than that, it's going fairly well so far. Believable characterizations, nothing too rushed.
| Simianpower chapter 1 . 6/1
Two things: Hanna's a terrible friend, and... Hermione and Zach? Really? Not as they were written in canon, that's for sure! Self important jackass. Why not Justin?
| Ronnie R15 chapter 28 . 5/25
Would have been funny if Voldemort actually showed up all weak and frail.
| vampyshreya chapter 28 . 5/12
| torlan2003 chapter 28 . 5/12
Great story, good plot and reasonable results such as Draco not being saved. So what happened to the snake? I will look at some of the reviews to see if you answered it already. Thank you for writing this story.