|Reviews for Jak IV: The Avenging Angels|
| TheHellBoy chapter 45 . 5/11
Three years. Three fan-fucking-tastic years spent reading this story. I wouldn't change a thing about the time I sent reading this story, it was absolutely amazing. Filled with action, romance, and a plot that didn't get lost during the course of the action. This is a thrilling conclusion to this story, even though it ended on a slight cliffhanger and feels like you've set us up for a sequel.
I may not be up to the task (at least, not right now) but once I finish the rough drafts of the story series I plan on uploading onto here, would you be okay if I wrote a sequel to this? Or found a way to wrap it into my series? That is if you don't have a sequel on the way or in plans that is.
| Ways chapter 45 . 5/9
Well, I'm late so I can't vote on the character poll. But my favorite character was Beast. Overall I have to commend you on your fantastic work on this story, it was incredible and was something good to follow through. I especially loved the character development and your ability to move the plot along nice and smoothly. I'm a little disappointed that this won't be getting a sequel, especially with what was revealed in this epilogue but as a writer, I do understand. With that being said, I'm gonna miss seeing updates for this story -they always got me excited- but I look forward to whatever you have next. Good luck on your future endeavors both in writing and the Air Force. I never favorite an author after reading only one of their stories, it's something I haven't done in years, but you've earned it.
| Ways chapter 44 . 5/9
This took forever to read, but I can live with that because it was so... good, incredible, amazing, fantastic, spectacular. The final fights were incredible! Jak, Daxter, Nightingale, Havoc! The chosen ones seriously rocked it. The emotions brought forth were also incredible too, I mean Rune and Phoenix choosing to fight on and the sorrow I felt for Runw when Phoenix died, Disten fighting off Gallus and his final words before death, the Precursor's rambles. But no, the twists and the turns in this chapter too! Daxter's zoomer, Tech's armor failing and the box of fallen gods. Phenomenal writing, it had me at the edge of my seat the entire time. This was a fantastic finale and even at the top of my form, I could never come close to the pure amazingness that is this chapter. One day, I hope to become as good a writer as you. I'm off to finish off the epilogue.
| Mooman1706 chapter 45 . 5/3
Well, that concludes the most part of the Avenging Angels. I actually don't know what to say I'm at a loss for words. I can't believe it's over. 3 years and it seems only like a few weeks ago that this story was started. It's come a long way from where it started. I have an idea for a new story/continuation from an old one. How do you feel like doing a Black Ops 3 zombies story? If possible using the same characters as in A:DoD or linking them in somehow. I'd like to see what you can do with that when it eventually comes out in November. Anyway I can't wait to see what you next story whatever it be, is. Enjoy your training and after that, your time defending your country in the Air Force.
Until next time, Mooman1706. Enjoy
| Oblique Strategies chapter 45 . 5/2
Well here we go. This was definitely one of the longest stories I've ever followed on here (since the very start that is), and I admire you for sticking with it all the way through. It's been a long and bumpy ride, there's been a few ups and downs along the way, but I'm still clinging to back bumper of the wagon as it rolls to its destination. This chapter was a nice way to end it all, having everyone come together at the end. Funny cameos from Blitz and Pecker.
I didn't realise my reviews had such an impact on your story's progression. But thanks for letting me know about that; happy to provide the support where it is needed.
My final words and advice, some of which are re-iterations of important things I've already mentioned, for you are as follows:
* Writing stories of this length places a huge demand on accurate continuity. However, you managed to handle this quite well for the most part, which deserves praise since it's been in development for over three years. There may be a few snarls here and there (difficult to remember), but something to look out for should you ever chose to revise it all. You had A LOT of characters too, so again, make sure they all remain consistent. I think you got a few names mixed up sometimes (especially since everyone has two; codename and real name), but I think that was down to confusions during fights mostly, which I'll get to below.
* You definitely have the capacity to create some great ideas and plotlines; as I said in one of my earliest reviews, I could easily imagine this as a game, the way things were playing out. What I think you need to work on is the execution of your ideas that suit the medium of literature. All of the action you wrote may work well if portrayed in a film or game, but doesn't transfer to text so nicely unless done really really well, and that's difficult to do. For example, look at the difference in action scenes between the book and film versions of The Lord of the Rings. Five minute troll battle in the film, and half a page's worth of text in the book.
* I know I've said it lots of times before, but I think your fights would be a lot better if they were shortened considerably. When it comes to combat, I believe they should be swift and precise. They will retain their impact, save you a lot of work, and I'm sure you'll find that readers will easily be able to imagine most of the action by themselves with just the basic elements. A punch for punch description will just slow the whole thing down, and again, make it too long. Sentences should be kept shorter too; many of yours were overly long, and it was hard to keep track of everything that was happening AND to identify the important parts when they occurred.
* Your non-action scenes were generally very good, and I enjoyed reading these the most. But a small note about the dialogue: Throughout the story, you have a habit of leaving speech clarifiers (e.g. "said Jak") until the very end of their speech. When they have been talking for several sentences, as often happened in your story, it isn't very clear who is actually speaking until after they have finished. Might seem like a small concern, but it will make things a lot clearer if, for example, you moved the clarifier to after the first sentence or clause, and carried on with rest afterwards.
I think that'll cover it. I hope this advice continues to help you develop your writing. All the best to you in your chosen career path and life. Thanks for the story.
| StaticBomb93 chapter 45 . 5/2
...WHO KEEPS STEALING MY TIME?! Christ...has it been 3 years since I started reading this bloody thing? That's it. I'm done with this! xD
Anyway not gonna lie I was no expecting (or too pleased with) the 5 year jump. But damn it as an American and a denizen of the Internet it is your right to do so! ...I'm getting political again. ANYWAY, I did enjoy all the tie ins and pretty much everything else. Though I was expecting way more kids from all the couples, save Chase and Rune because reasons.
Still...a very well made story. I will probably go back and re-read this again and review on chapters I haven't reviewed.
Good luck in the Air Force man. And hey it may have taken 3 years but you completed 2 freakin stories! I haven't completed one and I've been here for a minute. No shame in that man!
Good luck and God Bless
StaticBomb93 formerly SaberFox0324...I think.
| LadyAmazon chapter 45 . 5/1
Mucho kudos for finishing the most elaborate twist filles emotional rollercoaster of a story that i wished had been made into a game! I'm sad it's over but I'm happy to have discovered it and read to my hearts content
| DaibenDarkKitty64 chapter 45 . 5/1
Firstly, thanks for the Tech x Shadow shoutout LOL! i was crying of happiness :D . My fave character of the fic is...Tech! (it's not surprise) but i like him cause...i dont know, sincerily LOL but i think he is awesome! and i love so much the Tech x Shadow cause they're so sentimental, they do a cute couple, and i like the Hunter x Angel! i'm going to miss this story :( ...oh! i forget about something! my top of fave character of the fic! well, here's the top...1.-Tech and Shadow (LOL) 2.-Havoc 3.-Arranst (she share the place with Night) 4.-Sharp and Rune 5.-Violet 6.-Blade (and Chill) and 7.-Phoenix, so that's my top! and the reasons why each character have that place! (this is going to be a looooong comment, well not much). 1.-They are amazing! BWAAAAAA! 2.-He is so funny XD 3.-She is awesome fighter (with Night) 4.-Cute couple 5.-Cool! 6.-Cool too! 7.- Cool too! LOL and hope that you have fun in the Air Force :D !
| Eragonfan33 chapter 45 . 5/1
Fantastic you have done great with this story and good luck with the Air Force hope you succeed
| ScreamGirl4998 chapter 45 . 4/30
THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME!
| MiaqTheLiar chapter 44 . 4/30
Fantastic ending for a fantastic book, one that I will continue to read again time and time again. I wish you the best of luck for you and your future career, no matter if we don't share a nation, you are doing the world proud for defending your beliefs. Best of luck in the future,
| Guest chapter 44 . 4/29
Where's the final chapter?
| Paradise Eco chapter 33 . 4/29
Well, I don't think I'll make it for the finale and I don't know if you'll be able to read this after you're deployed (congrats, FYI by the way. My sister recently joined the Canadian Arm Forces and she's enjoying it so far).
Anyways, I was very nervous about starting to read this. The timeline threw me off but as I saw the updates get closer and closer together, my curiosity got the better of me. This story is truly amazing, to be able to keep writing this after 3 years, is something brilliant. All the OCs are on point and everyone is character (and the Jakob thing caught me by surprise). I've never read a story as in depth as this, and made me feel all of the emotions! I cried, I laughed, I squealed with joy (which wasn't the best idea when I read this on public transit), and I've listened to the songs you've suggested, found a new anime that I love.
I hope you keep writing in the future. See you at the end.
| randomguy1980 chapter 44 . 4/29
i have loved this series it is a shame its going to end.
| Oblique Strategies chapter 44 . 4/28
Well the Queen is finally vanquished and everyone is happy.
My favourite part was right at the beginning when they were exploring the palace; good descriptions in there and I could picture it pretty well. Sort of reminded me of the Locust palace in Gears of War 2. The fight at the end was also quite well done, better than many of the other long fights that decorate your story, especially in this chapter. This may have been because there was a clearer structure to the scene, with enough extra engagement and drama going on (with pauses to express how the characters were feeling at times), and it wasn't just an endless exchanging of attacks. The Precursor Cube kind of came out of nowhere though. A Deus Ex Machina if ever I saw one.
I will deliver my final thoughts, advice, and overall verdict of your story at the end of your final chapter.