Reviews for AmeMite II: The Seven Mysteries
Syein chapter 13 . 10/9/2014
Another sweet story, I'm glad you did a continuation of this.
I was wondering if Saya and Alice will resolve their issues, or Saya and Alice know more about Himeko and Chikane past life with orochi, or Himeko's upcoming team tournament where she get to show off her skill for her family to see, or how Otoha's personality gonna change from now on and if she still hang out with her two other friends, or what happen to Otoha if she were to realize that Saya is a lesbian.
Regardless, I love the ending! It's sooo sweet when you added a reason as to why Himeko is better in term of patience scene.
I haven't watch all of your KnM yet, and I'm chopping it one by one, feeling excite all over. Thank you for your wonderful works!
DandelionKing chapter 13 . 12/29/2013
SPOILER ALERT
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I was hoping that Himeko's classmates would get to see her using her fighting abilities for real. For a little while there, I even thought you were going to work that into the groups investigative hunt around school. That aside though, I really enjoyed reading this one. You really know how to go for the story, not just toss in some random words on your way to a sex scene. :)
SJ chapter 13 . 10/24/2013
this is my favorite universe i really hope you continue the story!
Yuki chapter 13 . 9/15/2013
Moooore! I didn't even know you did a sequel until I saw this, and blazed right through all 13 chapters in one sitting! Need more AmeMite!
Arukoir chapter 3 . 7/9/2013
My only qualm with this chapter is the kata. The kendo kata are paired forms for two people, but you have Himeko practicing them solo. On one hand that's not normally done, but on the other it's not really a large issue, it's just a bit odd.

Aside from that, the humor and characterization in this chapter really work well. I like how the characters interact with one another. It's the type of chapter that makes me want to read as much of this as possible.
RileyDuff chapter 13 . 6/25/2013
Love it so much! I think I've read it like 10 times by now! I hope you have a continuation because I love Chikane and Himeko but also would like to know how things turn out with Saya and Alice and if Arrow gets a guy!
DinoZilla chapter 13 . 3/10/2013
A definite and terrific retelling of one of yuri's kingdom love really create great stories especially pertaining to our most beloved yuri couple.I hope you never get tired of creating this kind of stories which frankly one of the best their is in the way,I will starting my story and planning it publish by the middle or next 's a Prototype/RosarioVampire crossover story and I hope by the time I publish it,I hope you would anyways,this is DinoZilla,signing off.
Tbsz884 chapter 13 . 2/13/2013
Yaaaaay! *claps*

This is an adorable slice-of-life adventure, and I thank you for bringing it to us. I love how well-structured the entire story is, using the ghost stories to build up both lore and tension leading to the climatic night exploration in the school. It's a subtle thing, and yet it provides a clear path of events around which character interactions can take place. Bravo!

Himeko and Chikane are both very well-realized, and you manage to capture in their dialogue the struggle between the physiological immaturity of their bodies and the sagacity of their centuries-old souls. Having Hayate inner-monologue specifically about that dichotomy in the final chapter falls a little too much into the "show, don't tell" problem, but other wise it's very well executed overall. I have to say though that the physical aspects of their relationship seem oddly down-played to the point of curious chastity, possibly to the detriment of their coupled characterization. Only their final interaction underneath the tree really indicated that they were a couple that had a bone-deep need to express their love physically as well as verbally. I believe with certainty that the story would have suffered little from adding a couple of additional reminders that these are two sexual beings beyond the occasional innocent flirtation or kiss.

If I had one major, overarching critique to the story, it's that each of the girls' dialogue can sometimes get a little too exposition-y to sound completely natural. As an example in contrasts: The exchange between Chikane and Saya in the library during the night 'raid' is understated and loaded with subtexts, both girls say exactly what needs to be said with no extraneous padding, and as a result the conversation is tense and engaging; contrast that with Himeko's explanation about the cat to Hayate and Eiko, where even after she answers that the "goblin" had been a cat, she further and somewhat redundantly explains what could have been deduced by her audience in regards to the probable sequence of events that led to the cat being discovered, and thus reduces engagement as the audience waits for the next part. It's not that the exchange about the cat is completely superfluous, as I appreciate the necessity of keeping your entire audience up to speed on events, but... some additional elegance of brevity would be a welcome contribution.

One of the things that I absolutely love about this piece is how much time you spent characterizing the side cast, especially Kisaragi. You took a cardboard cut-out high school bully and infused her with inner conflict, motivations, and sympathy, and you left open the possibility of her establishing some kind of friendship with Himeko without downplaying the conflict that caused her to bully Himeko in the first place. Very deft writing!

In terms of least favorite characters though, I have to say that Alice wins that particular prize, though it pains me to admit that. The sheer unrelenting nature of her genki nature and endless supply of pithy quips without any signs of self-doubt or inner conflict to contrast against makes her an oppressively optimistic font of energy. She doesn't really seem to have any personal desires or concerns aside from being the best smart-ass she can be and sneaking a smooch from her girlfriend whenever possible; I have never known anyone to be that laid back, especially not a teenaged girl. We don't know if she's harboring any resentment for having to hide in the closet, or if she has any concerns about the future and how she'll stay with Saya, or if she has any niggling worries at all, really. I want to like her, I really do, but her characterization throughout this entire thing has just felt a little too flat to make her truly likable given how much time the audience spends with her.

Thank you again for this lovely fic! Overall, I had a good time reading it, and I look forward to more!

3
TigerLilly22 chapter 13 . 2/2/2013
This story was sooo cute
After I read (and added to my favorites, which I'm sure you know) the prequel of this story, I had to read this all in one go, and I loved it. :D
When I got to the end though, my face looked like this :O then D: just didn't feel like the end...
Great story though, don't see too many of these on FanFiction for this particular anime. It was a nice change of pace. You kept the characters in character for the most part based on their experiences and I love the legends you made based on the anime, it was pretty ingenious.
The irony at some points and the witty humor kept me laughing too.
Keep up the great work please :)
Pedestrian chapter 13 . 12/15/2012
Wait, that was the end? It took me weeks to figure that out. -_-;;

Enjoyed it; looking forward to your next!
teacup storms chapter 13 . 12/11/2012
Thank you for this. It was very sweet and entertaining, though I did find Himeko's sword-skill a little bit OOC. In the anime, Himeko wounding Chikane seemed far more the result of *lack* of skill than any mystical, soul-deep knowledge of swordplay. You mentioned the manga with reference to your characterisation of Himeko at some point though, so I assume this is also one of those differences between the manga and anime characterisations of her. So anyway, thank you again. It was lovely to stumble across a fic that so easily took me away into its own world.
SuperBo1nk chapter 13 . 11/29/2012
thank you so much for sharing to us this wonderful story.. i cant shake off this feeling that this one will have another sequel and i hope there will be one.. looking forward to more stories from you.
Varshe Ashray chapter 1 . 10/27/2012
I'm bad at reviewing,so I'll only say what I honestly think..
This is a very well done story,thank for you writing,and I hope to see more of your writings. Cheers.
Totong chapter 13 . 10/14/2012
A toast to you my friend.A wonderful story you shared with I hope you continue write more this another girl x girl series but similar to again,may godspeed to you.
KeiFujino chapter 13 . 10/13/2012
HEY!
Dezo-penguin san!
you really did very well!
your story is really good! writhing a slice of life fic about knm is really a good idea!
I hope you will continue to write knm fics!
I also suggests that you write fantasy fics about knm ...
you know with the orochi something minus the mecha thingy I think I would be great!

I already read the first book and both of them is really good!
I hope you will write continuation for Alice and saya's story where Saya's problem will be solved because I love their pairing too!
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