|Reviews for The Damned One|
| Holly04 chapter 1 . 6/20/2014
this is kinda boring i couldnt get into it and its only a one shot i read the fist 3 paragraphs - good luck for your next work tho
| crusherccme chapter 1 . 5/8/2012
Nice start! I loved how you used such vivid imagery, but it may help a little if you broke up the paragraphs more. When paragraphs are very long it gets harder to read. I also liked how you compared (her? him? it?) to the storm. Very imaginative. I only found a few minor typos, nothing big. Overall, a marvelous start. But that's all it is - a start. I really think that you should continue this. I'd be interested in reading more, and am looking forward to seeing where this story goes. I can't wait to read the next chapter! Update soon!
| AvidRawr chapter 1 . 4/6/2012
Your formatting in the solid paragraph is hard to follow. Separate and tab appropriately and it will be a much easier read.
You should really put that it is an original main character in the summary. I don't mind originals if they help a story, but I don't believe they should be the focus if you are writing in a fandom. I am not saying you shouldn't write your story, just that it isn't my cup of tea. Other readers, I'm sure, will love it. Just a warning would be nice.
Also, you've got some very flowery verbiage going on. Wouldn't hurt to rein it in.