|Reviews for Worthless|
| Cartoonanimewritter chapter 1 . 2/22/2014
| Matthais Unidostres chapter 1 . 11/15/2012
Wow, that was... extremely OOC. Why would Iris fall in love with "such a little kid"? I mean. . .okay, this pairing could work, but not the way you wrote it. I'm sorry, but you really did write Iris all wrong. The only good part was the part when Ash said "Do I really seem like I'm used to having a girlfriend." There, that was someone being in character.
What this needs is some backstory. How did they fall in love? Perhaps if I knew that, this wouldn't seem so weird. To me, this seems like the END of a longer story. I feel I'm missing a lot of info. That's my honest opinion.
| King riq25 chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
Flawless just flawless
| Tails absolution chapter 1 . 6/19/2012
This shows that their relationship is still young and that Iris has lots of soical issues like how she easily accursed Ash of being a cheater at the mentioning of his female friends. Ash too seems to have soical issues as well, seeming that he didn't respone very enthusiastically to Iris loving advances.
| The Matter's Settled chapter 1 . 4/19/2012
Good job, I like what you have done here. You are missing some punctuation here and there but overall you it's not that bad. Additionally, nice use of the cumulative sentence to add meaningful description.
| WhiteEagle1985 chapter 1 . 4/12/2012
Nice story... it sounded so real!
| darkliger01 chapter 1 . 4/9/2012
Honestly, I thought this was done quite well. Sure, there was a good bit of detail with descriptions and Iris' thought, but it flowed well. Think about it, here we have a young couple a month into there first relationship (both individually and together), and both are inexperienced to a great degree.
While Ash is still as dense as usual in other areas, he's growing to understand the concept of romantic relationships, and doing his best at it. Having the family and friends he's had over the years has allowed him the chance of knowing who he wants to be with - Iris, in this case.
We quickly make the mistake of looking at Iris too negatively, especially in a story like this. As of now, we know that Iris's background is still surrounded in mystery. We don't know of any relatives that Iris may have or may not have anymore, and she may have lived on her own for a good while. Therefore, she would not be used to receiving love from anyone other than Axew. As the concept of "growing up alone too quickly" would make her develop a certain amount of insecurity, Iris would quickly think too little of herself. In other words, she wouldn't really know what to do with the love Ash gives her.
So it takes the simple things Ash does to show his love for her to mellow her out, and make her realize how much she has been her own worst enemy. I look forward to seeing how far you take this, and I hope to see how much Iris's disposition on herself and her relationship with Ash improves. And like others, I would like to see this done in chapters - maybe even including Ash's thoughts in it.
If anything I said doesn't make since, let me know. I wrote this review quite late at night.
| Nauran chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
Guess who the person that says "I don't deserve you" is thinking more about; their lover or themselves?
If you can't figure it out, then you can't handle that kind of romance issue. That's why this story is inconsistent with what it's aimed at being.
| The Immortal Doctor Reid chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
Iris does realise Ash is a idiot, when it come to romance, right? I'm glad to see you're keeping up with Ashris, have you thought of doing a multi-chapter fic about them? I know I'd read it, keep up the good work
| Shihi Sah Crerizo chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
Reviewing is not optional huh? Well I dont have much to say other than how I like how you sort of put a lot of detail into what the character is thinking about rather than about conversations.
Is the like some sort of sequel to Midnight Chocolate?
Well, thats it for my review. Maybe you could try a multi chapter fic your, aforementioned detail in the thoughts of your characters is kinda interesting but a bit overwhealming to some readers.
I wish to see you and your other fics around till then.