Reviews for Loginquitas
MisstyXTbxKitty chapter 5 . 8/30
Like it lol hahaha mama car annoyed by playful kitty
MisstyXTbxKitty chapter 2 . 8/29
The Guy with the eye patch their talking bout or who? Nice btw
Ul'Yana chapter 13 . 8/9
Your characterizations are almost fine, but you made the governor out to be too evil in a way that he's not. His people killed for survival, that was the foundation of their group and his leadership. He killed for supplies, not for kicks and giggles. He certainly didn't rape. While he did have a sadistic side, it wasn't the type of sadism that you portrayed.

As for Shane, so far, in this chapter at least, he's a little too untrusting. Shane didn't openly disagree to the point where he was this unreasonable. He snapped easily, that's true, but not like this. He cares deeply for his people, although Carl and Lori more, so he wouldn't be this harsh. Also, he only really snapped after Daryl came back half dead with only a doll. Instead in this AU, Daryl succeeds and Rick is proved right in his judgement to continue the search for Sofia. Shane is untrusting, but he's not completely unreasonable.

Those are the only characters you got OOC, but they are big issues that I suggest you think about, because as it stands, you make it seem like you are villianfying these characters to make your OC more likeable with a tragic past. It's an issue that I personally as a reader, find difficult to continue the story. Also, you made Daryl a bit more of a hardass than I picture, but the change is a writer's freedom in this case, so it's fine.

Other than that, the story is good. Your OC is likeable and your way of introducing characters is decent.

I suggest you think harder about the villains, because a writer should know the good points and bad points in their characters, even if they don't like them.
mattdombast chapter 41 . 8/8
mattdombast chapter 29 . 8/8
Kick ass
mattdombast chapter 28 . 8/8
I kinda want Shane to find someone
mattdombast chapter 27 . 8/8
I hope the Jones live
mattdombast chapter 26 . 8/8
Kill Thomas Andrew dexter
mattdombast chapter 25 . 8/8
Kill them all
mattdombast chapter 24 . 8/8
I kinda wanted beth saved but he'll so sad
mattdombast chapter 23 . 8/8
Shane's a dick Lori should have done it ran for the fence
mattdombast chapter 22 . 8/8
Tell them the truth at least rick
mattdombast chapter 21 . 8/8
Awesome I think Lori should live pass the birth
mattdombast chapter 20 . 8/8
Sad that Carol , beth died should have been Lori, shane
mattdombast chapter 19 . 8/8
She told them Dale dead
1,381 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »