|Reviews for Don't You Remember Me?|
| AshWing chapter 4 . 9/6/2012
I loved this chapter please update this story! Johnny is perfect and halley is awesome! I like how she is figuring out he is a murderer, i cant wait to see what happens, please update!
| Winged Trickster chapter 4 . 8/6/2012
I love the different POV's. I mean the concept of POV. It shows that you can adapt you style accordingly to the character. And it gives good results.
| TeamAlecVolturi chapter 3 . 7/12/2012
This is a good idea for a story. I am being honest when I say this next thing, and I hope you don't take it the wrong way, but I really don't like your writing style. You need to put more detail into your writing. This not only gives more content for your reader to enjoy, it also adds more emotion to the story, something you need to work on besides detail. I like the dialog, sometimes. Other times it seems that the characters are too quick to talk or be honest with each other. Most of the plot of this is becoming dialog. You also need to work on punctuation. This seems like an unedited outline for a chapter rather than an actual chapter. I also think you're making Halley too much like Nny, she needs to be her own person. Keep the whole moody teenager thing, but remember she's just a teen and hasn't been through what Nny has. If you developed her a bit, then she'd become more interesting. Oh, and make sure you keep Nny as the tortured soul that he is. He needs to say things that are absolutely insane that no one could understand but him. Besides this, you're doing great. Keep working on the story, and if you take my advice, you'll hopefully get more readers.
| shippingthemasses chapter 3 . 7/2/2012
- Yay, it's edited!