|Reviews for War and Lies|
| D. Raines chapter 8 . 12/27/2013
Holy shit, deleon25! How do you make your stories so amazing?
Anyway, I'll give small reactions to each chapter so far:
Ch1: I never expected Jake and Chance to fight at first. Both are similar such that they have had terrible lives, only Jake deals with it better side he doesn't have depression. Love it, hits home with so much power.
Ch2: Jake and Colby make such a cute couple! Jake's mom dating Chance's dad could lead places that they wouldn't expect. But why do you cut yourself, Chance? It could kill you after a while!
Ch3: Must have been hard for Chance to deal with almost killing another individual. Love how Derek is willing to help anyone, since Chance hates Jake but takes Colby to him.
Ch4: I hate that stalker already! Feel bad for Chance that he couldn't convey his emotions to Derek, and that Jake had to be so rude to him about his request for help.
Ch5: Now their parents know that Chance and Jake hate each other, ended in a pretty funny way. I'm proud of the two of them for beginning to build a trust fire each other. Congrats Chance for realizing that you are the only one who still needs to change.
Ch6: The murder of two innocent students? Who would do such a thing, and mark the boys' van while they're bowling? I hate this group and everyone associated.
Ch7: I can understand why Colby would leave Jake, as long as it's temporary. Then to see Jake kidnapped and taken away and Derek sedated...the plot thickens! Props to the coach for finally accepting Chance's friendship with Jake.
Ch8: Compelling memories. Anyway, how does Derek deserve to get tortured and raped? Thank god for Chance to arrest the stalker, I'd love to see that husky dead in a moment! Love to see how Chance is changing for the better.
Any way I can sum this up? Five words: THE BEST THING OUT THERE! It combines some of the best emotion ever captured in words, the fun-to-read plot of the characters in high school, and an amazingly written plot into one immaculate fanfic! With this one, deleon25, you have definitely solidified a spot among the best fanfiction writers out there. Chapter 9 couldn't come soon enough.
| Komamura's son chapter 8 . 12/26/2013
Best Christm- oh wait... Aw who cares!? I'm just happy to see the update, I'll consider this as a late gift. Crying tears of joy from that ending right now. Pardon my french, but I fucking love ya and your stories DEL. I'm pretty sure I've made that clear before, but I don't care, I'll say as much times as I can.
| Komamura's son chapter 7 . 8/1/2013
I'm crying for two reasons. First, Y'know thoses school book reports in high school, and the book they asign you is oddly some of the same stuff you're going through, Thats this to me, just less intense. And the other reason...It's not finished...I love this, its so great and makes me feel so much. But dammit Del, I get if you're busy but, it makes me sad...*sits in emo corner*
Fox Boy: Roy Komamura
| Cody Furlong chapter 7 . 10/15/2012
woot poor jake and drek, looks like they're the next to that's gonna get it.
| LightningSpeed chapter 6 . 9/2/2012
Whoa, the story is really getting intense.
| Cody Furlong chapter 6 . 8/27/2012
Coolies, poor Chance and Jake, things are just ggetting worse and worse for them. I love it, Especially now that one or both of them are gonna get it by the baddies. Looking forward to seeing it.
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/19/2012
Woot! Go Chance, it's about time you changed, can hardly with to see him getting his life in order.
| Slick13 chapter 4 . 6/4/2012
WOW! I must say I was both wowed and greatly entertained...I hope the next chapter is up soon...cant wait for it to come out
| slik13 chapter 1 . 6/3/2012
Well this chapter was..ok. I think you could do better though it had many interesting parts, but it also had parts that were...dull. You have potential, you just need to "wow" the reader 1 to 10 i give it a 7. I did enjoy most of it though...ok...FLUFFY
| Guest chapter 4 . 6/2/2012
Damn you. This story pleases me. B)
| Cody Furlong chapter 4 . 5/31/2012
Woot, go tabby doing who knows what to himself, have to say wasn't expecting this turn of events. Can't wait to see what happens now.
| Cody Furlong chapter 3 . 5/8/2012
Nice chapter, I'm liking the way things are going, even if Chance is a bit to out of character for my tatstes, it works for the story. I'm really looking forward to seeing more of why chance is so messed up, how his friend helps him, and when they finally hook up.
| GreyDog chapter 2 . 4/21/2012
Good story, I'm very intrested. Though I must say that you should put a line or something to tell readers your moving on to another scene since I found a bit of challenge to figure out who or where the story is going at that moment. Just saying...
'Paws!'- Grey Dog
| ulyferal chapter 1 . 4/10/2012
The story is choppy (too many short, clipped sentences that break the flow too much), you're mixing past and first tenses (is instead of are, takes instead of took, etc), and starting off in 'storytelling' fashion before switching back to third person...a big no, no. You really need a little help with story writing and there are some excellent tutorials on fan fiction writing on Deviant Art that you should really check out. I do like that you have some basic writing skills, a good imagination, good spelling skills, and your voice and style of writing figured out. However, you do need help to get off on the right foot. I'm not open for beta work at this time so I highly recommend you read some good books, see how the authors tell their story, and check out DA for assistance. Don't let my critique discourage you...learn from it...keep going with this story and your other ones but improve...improve...improve. Constant practice writing, heeding critiques, and reading tutorials will be a big help to you. Good luck!