|Reviews for Doesn't Matter|
| Piggypig213 chapter 1 . 6/10
This felt very robotic and choppy. I enjoyed the premise of the story but I wish it had been planned and spread out better. You do have a good writing style and there were no spelling errors that I noticed, but the stories "scenes" should've been spread out more instead of ending so abruptly and starting so abruptly. The way they talked should've sounded more human, atleast on misaki's side, and Hei should've been a bit more guarded and careful. Remember he deals with a powerful group that could kill him and Misaki easily, he has to worry about her safety too so try to show some conflict between him and himself, he's stuck between a rock and a hard place, trained to be as unattached and wary as possible no matter the circumstance so he wouldn't be able to easily decide to tell Misaki like that
| ur awesome chapter 1 . 3/11/2013
Kawaiiiii that was great :3
| Dear4Life chapter 1 . 4/10/2012
Thank your friend for requesting it. We need more Hei/Misaki stories.
I have to say you have some good ideas. I like the idea of Misaki still not quite knowing that Li is BK-201.
I want to point out some positive criticism though, that maybe could help with the story.
I would have just had her scream out "Wait!" and Hei not even turn around. It would make it more believabe for Hei not to tell Misaki right away that he is BK-201 or even think that she might know.
Maybe have them meet somewhere else too. Perhaps bumping into him later at a restaurant (and start your meal scene from there) would have been better.
I also would have let Hei keep the name Li in front of her. Misaki had heard her commander say that BK-201's code name was Hei (plus we don't know his real name).
Misaki wouldn’t have been surprised by Li eating so much; not only because she had already ate with him, but also because she herself eats a lot and her friends always say the same thing to her.
One last thing: When you wrote Hei’s name and then put in parenthesis Li’s, you could have just wrote Li when it was in Misaki’s point of view and Hei when it was in Hei’s point of view.
Hope that all made sense, and I hope you will not think ill of me for pointing these out. I just think it could make your story that much better.
Keep up the good work, and please keep writing. _
| H-xTruthteller chapter 1 . 4/10/2012
I wonder how it happened that I am first to comment this, but whatever...
First, pay attention to your spelling.
"So except me to be a part of your team.."
..er, what? "Accept me as a~", "let me be a~", or at least, "allow"?
Yet the start is not bad. You do have heart, this I can see clearly. You should continue surely, for there are people who will probably never get enough of HeixMisaki stuff, including me as long as the story is well-plotted and of good quality.
| DarkerThanEvanescence chapter 1 . 4/10/2012
Hoorah, more people being draw into the awesome realm of Hei and Misaki fanfics! I did notice a few times that a first person noun got mixed up in the story, like 'me' but overall there wasn't much wrong. Any Hei Misaki lovin' is fine by me XD