|Reviews for Even little Nations Can make Big Nations Jealous|
| XxXSoManyFandoms-.-'XxX chapter 1 . 9/12/2012
Aw! I love it! Great job!
| Paigeolivar4 chapter 1 . 7/19/2012
Aww It's so cute yet kind of sad since liet was still under russian control... hahahaha I love how everyone is perfectly in character hahahahaha "My Arthur senses are tingling" hahahahahaha Gotta love iggy and Alfred :D
| Katt1848 chapter 1 . 4/22/2012
X3 like~ can you write a story about what happens between Francis and Arthur on the jet?
| Ikana chapter 1 . 4/17/2012
I kind of liked the story, even though I would recommend you to use other words than "say". Whenever a direct speech of yours ends you write "blahblahblah said". You could exchange that for "exclaimed", "shouted" or "mentioned" or whatever. That would make it more rich in variety I suppose.
What I completely do not get is why France and England are using "Auf Wiedersehen" in sync! Neither Arthur, Francis, Sealand, nor Poland do speak german as their mother tounge as far as I know. So that confused me a freaking lot!
Furthermore but not fatal are spelling mistakes and here and there a letter is missing (an L most of the time... Is that letter damaged on your keyboard?)
But all in all it's appreciable! It is a nice story and even though you could add a few more things it was well detailed and entertaining!
Finally the end is... Well... How to put it? ...Pretty short. Definitely fine for your first time! But I missed a certain feeling of passion that would be expressed due to foreplay. Or if you wanted to describe a rushed sexual intercourse I missed the heat of the hurry. To prolong the ordeal you could describe how one of them touches his partner, feeling the heavy and desperately fast heartbeat. Or you could write how hot, confused, rushed, needy, whatever they are, what they do with their hands or what they think or how incoherent one feels of thinking for that matter~
We know, Feliks is a little girly, so maybe he has a shy attitude during sex, covering himself up, squirming in shame or even pleading not to be looked at.
You mentioned his fear to be left. Include that into the sexual act, no? Like he could start to cry a little and beg to not be left. Or maybe he screams inside of his head that he wants to be close to Toris forever! And that the screaming in his head has effects on his behaviour, like clinging to his partner, sudden dominance, taking what he wants, scratching his partner in warning to not ever dare leaving... Such things.
The letter again was touching and absolutely perfect! I loved it the most! (This and the way you write Feliks' direct speeches. I really love the way you write him!) The reaction was cut short but it seemed okay. Just as if you wanted to let Feliks alone with his pain to not embrass him. No matter what the reason was, it fits perfectly in my opinion and it was very appreciable!
I would love to read something from you soon again! And I hope I was not mean in any way, because I never intended to be to!
Enjoy writing and have nice days!
- Sincerely, Ikana