|Reviews for Mount&Blade : Warband From A Commoner To A King|
| Maxinum-McDreich chapter 2 . 3/6/2013
Not often I stay to read such long fanfics. I've really enjoyed this, as a fan of the game as much as anything else. I like how you're encompassing what happens in the backround of the game itself whilst still keeping the fic feel like it's still the game itself.
If this is still on-going, I look forward to the next installment. Otherwise, thanks for a great read regardless.
| indogma chapter 2 . 8/1/2012
First, let me begin by saying that it is a well written story. There are some cons with the story that I'd like to address.
There where some grammar issues that made me stop and reread the sentence over again in order to understand it. But then again, most fanficts have that issue so it is not a point to stress over.
Second (now these get opinionated so read them with a grain of salt)
I felt in the second chapter you had the relationship with Roswell and Ymira, progress too soon in my opinion. It is painfully obvious that you plan have have a romance bloom between the two. Don't get me wrong i wouldn't mind that, (and if you included Alayen it would make an interesting love triangle), but it felt too quick. I feel if you slowed that relationship development down a little it would help the story, and it would allow you to save material for later chapters.
Also I was confused as to why Roswell recruited Ymira so quickly. In the first chapter, I felt he adopted a philosophy of not hiring women because he didn't want to see them hurt in battle, after turning down a young girl's help. Then he turns around and hires Ymira without a second thought. Although she does not fight as of yet, i still would have expected Roswell to be a bit more reluctant to hire her.
I was confused after rereading your first chapter and finding out that Roswell's father was a "knight." Now I'm just being technical here, but I'm a bit of a history nerd. The Khergit are a group of people that are based off the the Mongolian tribes, and other such nomadic tribes, and thus did not have knights. It might pay to do a little research and find out if they had something similar to a knight and what if was called.
Apart from these i enjoyed your story, and look forward to more. While writing this review I looked over your profile. Let me just share a little advice about not getting reviews:
First, don't sweat it, reviews will come. It takes time and not every one is willing to share opinion. Second, Mount and Blade is not exactly a "main stream" game. Even over here I find myself the only one who plays Mount and Blade in my cluster of friends. So it is not exactly the most viewed fanfict page. And Third, no reviews is good reviews. I find it often is the case that readers will rather review something they hate and complain why they hated it, then they liked the story and why. So your fine. But i understand, i want to write to the best of my ability as well, and it is hard to do that without critics. So that's why I'm doing this.
Anyway, good story and i hope you keep it up.
| Kaczmarek chapter 1 . 4/12/2012
The layout is still too crowded, maybe adding a little bit spaces?