Reviews for Lines of Destiny: Destiny's Intersection chapter 4 . 6/2/2012

I find your story both interesting to read and unsettling as far as how you have Ranma acting in the story. He or she is so paranoid that it borders on insanity. I say that because she acts like the world revolves around him / her and everybody is plotting against him/her because he is so important the world stops without him. If you are trying to portray Ranma as a insane paranoid person then it works. Honestly I think it if you tone it down just a little the story would be a lot better. Frankly I see no reason why the sailors would ever include Ranma into their group because of the way he is acting right now as he is anything but a team player and they are a team. He could easily get them killed.

Your 4th chapter is by far the best so far because Ranma's insanity is not a main factor in it. After reading what I wrote I realized I sound to negative, because I do like the story and would like to read more.

7 Winds chapter 4 . 6/1/2012
AAAAAHHHH! Cliffhanger. Man nust when it was getting good. Please keep up the good work. I liked how the castle talked to ranma but didn't mention it would self destruct after its core was removed. It was one of those oppose moments. It was funny bad and good because it took out the bad guys.

Thank you for your time and the chapter.


Your Eternal Fan

7Winds ;)
tuatara chapter 4 . 6/1/2012
I'm truly sorry if any of my comments to you have damaged your enthusiasm for this story. That's the last thing would I ever want. It's a legitimately compelling story, and this chapter was strange and fascinating. Disembodied voices urging the hero on are always an interesting touch.

It ends on a rather worrisome note, but it was all well executed. Of your chapters so far, this is certainly the one that has left me most invested in what comes next. So, good job on the cliffhanger. And please don't lose heart because there hasn't been a bigger response. As in almost all art, this should always be first and foremost for your own satisfaction. As long as it's meaningful to you, it's a success.
Chargone chapter 3 . 5/16/2012
looks like all that work payed off, at least.

the whole Ranma/Akane tension is ... annoying. i can sort of see some of what Ranma's issue is, but it goes from that point to this and... why? how? bwah? and Akane is just... blech. limited is all well and good when you limit it to the right view point (which i think you have) ... unfortunately we've not got a view on what the hell is going on there... or something. i dunno. *gives up trying to explain it.* meh.

ahh well, good work over all.

keep on being shiny :D
raneko chapter 3 . 5/16/2012
No way Ranna would use psi techs right away as far as Ranna is concerned anything associated with akana is utterly tainted. He'd only use them if his initial attacks weren't effective. (After all he is using the fuku only for PROTECTION)
Aki chapter 1 . 5/15/2012
Not sure I want to read this, it doesn't reflect much on your writing since i haven't gotten to your chapters but I found LoD to be absolutely terrible, it had a decent premise and although a little ooc, not overbearingly slow. It's main problem is it's a piece of convoluted trash. Any time you need to invent an entire subconcious OC just to tell the main character what to do is about the time you either work on it till you don't have to use it or just pack your bags and quit writing. If you aren't writing about some crazy person with MPD, using this method of moving the story along is jarring, lazy, heavy handed, and actively takes the reader out of the experience since nobody, not the senshi, not Akane, not even most crazy people, think as though they are actually two people. The story could do completely without Akana being an actual character, and it could certainly do without Ranma info dumping all of his thoughts and past, he is a secretive individual who does not like to share things about himself and when forced to, tends to give as little ground as possible.

All that WORDS WORDS WORDS just leads into this, Is this really the material you want to base your whole story on? The premise is one thing, but I at least hope if you must continue this dosh that you'd at least cut the crap out of it.
XStylus chapter 3 . 5/14/2012
You're doing immeasurably great justice to Louis' original story. It's been about a decade since I first read it, and your continuation of it serves extremely well. Thank you, and keep up the fantastic work.
iceland chapter 2 . 5/3/2012
it is a good story and happy that you continued it with new chapters. it will be fun to read the new chapters and it is funny how akane said she wanted the chaos out of her life and then she i want the chaos now as a scout. she did everything that she told ranma not to do.
Chargone chapter 2 . 4/28/2012
""When we first met, he walked in on me when I was taking a bath,"" ... ya know, if the other fanfics i've read are any indication, Akane has this very much backwards. hehe. (i have to admit, i read a lot of Ranma 1/2 fanfics... but i've never read/watched the original material. crossovers ftw, they're how i got where i am fandom wise :D) It'd be very much in character for her to do so though...

also, am i forgetting when Ranma found out Akane was the Saturn Knight, or is Ranma completely missing Mamaru(sp?)'s constant linking of the two in their conversation there?

Michiru and Haruka's scene was particularly nicely done, i think... or at least, seemed that way to me... i wonder how much it being the last one before i wrote most of this review affects that though?

also, i know Exactly what you mean with the different formats. if i get a document more than two or three pages long i have to print it and take to it with pen or pencil in order to do... much of anything other than add to the tail end of it. the computer is Great for adding, removing, changing, etc, and for ensuring your work is legible, and it's all right for reading if you're using something setup for that, but it's Terrible when trying to keep track of something in it's entirety and figure out what you need to move, remove, add, or change, especially if you have to keep various bits lined up with each other information and organization wise... much easier to figure out and plan on paper (even if the computer does make committing the changes a hell of a lot easier.)

at least with a fic you only have to keep the story straight, in that reguard... gets far more interesting when working with things like constructed languages where pretty much everything refers back (and forward) to, and is affected by, everything else in a decidedly non-linear and recursive manner... (of course, fics etc take a lot more work in other areas, just not that particular one :D. and then ff dot net eats your formating. heh.)
Vld chapter 2 . 4/28/2012
I'm sorry, Akane, but... you said who walked in on WHO taking a bath? Sorry, way i remember it, it was the other way around. Though, she probably doesn't want to give Hotaru that she once was a homicidal maniac. Before you ask, no i don't hate Akane. She may not be my favorite character, but i still like her.

My take? I think both michiru and Haruka are partly right. Ranma wouldn't really leave akane, i think. BUT akane has been known to be pretty blind wherever Ranma was concerned. But if anyone can realise how they could get Ranma to help without doing something he obviously doesn't want, it's her.

That, or she could also easily screw up, and make it so her relationship with Ranma would be unrepairable.

To convince him, she simply can tell him that since she's fighting, he doesn't need to keep his word to her, AND that he doesn't need to fight as a Senshi. After all, he wasn't one when he beat a God. Let him realise by himself that turning into Terra isn't really a bad thing.

On the other hand, she can dare him. Saotome Ranma never refuses a challenge... BUT he would never forgive her if she did.

What really has me worried, though, is that we don't know yet how Setsuna's fight went.
Raneko chapter 2 . 4/27/2012
Ranma is going through one hell of an Identity crisis. Not to put a too fine a point on it. But he's been chased down mind raped (by having someone else's memories shoved in his head IMO (if it didn't happen in the last 18 years it happened to someone else.)) and until recently sharing headpsace with 8000 year old dead girl that "claims" to be him.

Ranma has beaten long odds before but right now he feels he can't trust the sailor senshi.

His soul may have been fractured by a fluke of fate. But that part grew into a whole person with his own wants his own dreams and his own plan for the future. Ranma Didn't need Akana he out grew her instead She was forced on him!

Now after sorting the almighty train wreck that was his life he's found our he's inherited someone else's problems.
Atlan chapter 2 . 4/26/2012
Nice. I remember LOD from years ago- was always a little sad it wasn't finished.

But this- honestly, it looks like it was written by the original author- you are continuing it very, very well. Keep it up.

Ranma/Mamoru's conversation felt very awkward. This makes sense, since both Ranma and Mamoru probably FELT very awkward.

Bonus points for Haruka/Micheru conversation.

Looking foward to more of this story.
Aaron Nowack chapter 1 . 4/16/2012
Man, Lines of Destiny was possibly one of the first ten anime fanfics I ever read. I had to re-read it when I noticed this continuation so I could understand what was going on, and it was kind of surprising to me both how much I still remembered and how many random elements from it worked their way into my own attempts at Sailor Moon fanfiction.

Anyway! Onto your actual story! :)

Obviously, you are kind of just getting started, but so far this seems like a worthy continuation of the original. I particularly liked Sailor Pluto saving Happosai; "evil manipulative bitch Pluto" has so infested Sailor Moon fanfic, and in particular Ranma/Sailor Moon crossover fanfic, that it's a pleasant breath of fresh air to see someone remember that she is supposed to be a good guy. Er, good gal.

It's a shame that you weren't able to get official permission from Giroux to continue his story, but I suppose second-hand permission and an original outline to work from is actually pretty impressive given how long he's been Internet-vanished.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing more of this; keep up the good work!
Chargone chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
so, of course, i had to go find the site and read the fic this is based on. wheee... left aligned txt files designed for lower resolutions and squarer aspect ratios from years ago on a high resolution wide-screen... what fun :D (and all those 'in progress' fics over there ... no dates on anything, but i'd assume they're all long abandoned. too bad. some of them were pretty shiny looking.)

also, shoutouts/references to other Ranma crossovers... oh yes, i saw them :P

with the suffixes, i always figure, when you've got Japanese people who are speaking Japanese to each other, why not? English can represent the same concepts, of course, but it involves a lot of additional sentences and significantly changing how a character speaks based on who they're speaking to and the situation (well, some translate over easily enough, -san and -sama(or possibly -dono?) being roughly equivilant to Mr./Mrs./Miss and Lord, but most don't)... I'd get annoyed at people dumping them in places they really don't fit (that is, settings that have nothing to do with Japan or Japanese people at all) or getting 'em wrong... but for stuff like this they work quite nicely :)
Crescent Pulsar chapter 1 . 4/13/2012
I have three problems with this first installment.

The first is the lack of emotional impact I got, particularly during the interplay that takes place at the shrine. I'm barely feeling anything from the characters, so they feel flat rather than engaging. This is partially due to the ping-ponging that went on between only a few of the characters within a group, with at least half of them getting little mention or participation between statements and subjects. At the shrine, for instance, Rei does most of the yapping on the senshi's end. Even had she been elected to speak on the others' behalf, there are parts of the conversation that I think would have elicited a response from one of the others, if not with words then with looks or sounds that told us enough about how they were affected by what was said.

The second is that we're sold (in quite a number of ways) the idea that Pluto couldn't possibly intervene with Happosai. Not only because of the nigh-certain ("almost certainly" were your words) paradox that could result, but because Happosai was expendable in the grand scheme of things. Also, Pluto had ultimately reasoned that saving him wouldn't be a wise course of action. Yet she throws all of these reasonable arguments against helping him away because she's supposed to save people, especially those that don't deserve it? (Okay, wait, so Pluto could have possibly secreted Hitler away and left a fake body?) Just for a chance at redemption? Despite the strong threat of paradox ("the risk was simply too high")? It's so nonsensical it isn't funny, and I'm not buying it.

The third and last I could be wrong about, because it's been a while since I've read Lines of Destiny. The following part felt just felt very wrong to me:

"I'd have found a way. I don't lose. Not in the end. Not when it really matters."

This really smacks of irrationality and "I've read my own manga/anime" to me (because it sounds like the author's perspective is speaking through the character), and I don't recall Ranma being like that in Lines of Destiny. This is a Tatewaki-level disconnection of logic. Not only is Ranma saying that he (singular) won (even though he didn't finish it off or fight alone), but he assumes that there would have been a next time after some tea and crumpets for him to find victory. He's also blind to the idea that he only made so much headway because he hadn't been alone during the altercation, partly because — for some reason — he's acting completely ignorant over the fact that his powers as a senshi are limited when he fights by himself. I don't recall Ranma being so extreme with this disassociation with reality even in light of the circumstances, because saying the above is no different than Tatewaki saying, "I fight on," right before he collapses.

I'd have made what happened between Ranma and Akane the fourth problem, but — like I said — it's been a while since I've read Lines of Destiny, so I don't recall the dynamic of their relationship all that well. Although, if there is a problem, it might be due to the first and third problems bleeding into things.
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