|Reviews for Hogyoku|
| the reader 1995 chapter 4 . 5/17
A very good story with ideas rather thoughtful waiting with hate the following .
Ps my excuse for horrible grammar but i am bad in language
| Guest chapter 4 . 4/29
I like the name Kingdom of the blades or perhaps the village hidden in blood. I like this fanfic and can't wait for the next update, while I like the hunting of the akutsuki and orochimura and I have a few questions such as will Naruto get revenge against the hidden leaf and whirlpool if so Naruto should get tsunade before the hidden leaf and they should kill kabuto and make Cline's of him to be put in each of the hidden villages both major and minor.
| The Price of Power Heed My Sin chapter 2 . 2/4
Okay wow you need to slow down your thoughts and take it smoother the story is boring and jumps around all over the place which makes it hard to read and confusing. Naruto's goal is to become a god but later acts like a perverted scientist. Then his personality does a 180 and he acts differently, the fact it does is not really the problem you could have made him bi-polar or someone who wears many different mask to fool people like Aizen, but the execution is just hectic. One moment the pov is here than there than another place than back again, it's just all over the place. Like a thousand thoughts all jumbling together in a overwhelming amount. There's just too many things going on, the first chapter was fine but it quickly fell down the drain. Smooth transitions from part to part and explanations makes stories a enjoyable and easy read, the story should flow like calm water into the canal not rage like a ocean storm with huge waves and lightning.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/22/2016
After reading your summary.. I'm gonna say this that your grammar and vocabulary skills ain't gonna get you anywhere. It's already depressing as it is with your autism.. I feel sorry for the teachers in school that failed you..
| Emperor-Aurora chapter 4 . 6/18/2016
Too boring. Naruto isn't involved enough nor is his anger towards the red haired bitch and the Uzumaki in general.
| rhizz17 chapter 4 . 2/2/2016
| Murphy's laws 666 chapter 4 . 10/25/2015
Orochi-theme does make mayuri look like a saint! Good job on the story though I would give the characters you interduce more character development
| Uchiha Senju Naruto chapter 4 . 9/25/2015
| Lancelot Seiten 1 chapter 4 . 9/9/2015
Is this sotry abandoned?
| Ciarle chapter 4 . 7/1/2015
love the storyline hoping for more
| genesicgaogaigarvsgodgundam chapter 1 . 6/7/2015
| PGBandit chapter 1 . 5/24/2015
The initail idea of becoming a god(kami) was good and interesting, moving away from that diminshes your story.
Some characterisations are good but its like your copying in bleach characters for no purpose. Having the cast be all female for his harem to continue his bloodline would make more sense.
This a good idea with a rough transistion, like why Naruto doesnt just leave earlier, focus on business, use the Namikaze name and dis-inheiret The Uzumaki's. Why doesnt naruto go west or to minor nations like wave, snow, vegtables, star to establish his base as a god. I can understand why this was abandoned due to there being no purpose of vision in the story. It could of been unique with some editing!
| rougeshadow chapter 4 . 5/7/2015
Village hidden in death
| Dark Angel Assassin's chapter 4 . 4/5/2015
I've read a lot of ur work and so far this is my favorite please up date ur an amazing writer
| Unknown Eldritch chapter 4 . 3/12/2015
I think Shinigakure, despite it's clicheness (to the max!) sounds the best. Also, please update! This story is badass!