|Reviews for Hogyoku|
| Dregus chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
i wonder how naruto's former family will react once they see how much power he has
| kazikamikaze24 chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
Its nice and detailed, though I was hoping to see some combat and Naruto being in a genin squad. Until next time!
| Volos chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
i hope the harem doesnt just involve the recreated bleach women. I hoe you add some naruto universe girls like mei (no konoha girls or uzumkai girls)
Cant wait until naruto meets his "so called family". I cant wait to watch the uzumaki clan get dragged under the mud while naruto rises to power.
SCREW KUSHINA, SCREW KASUMI, SCREW THE UZUMAKI CLAN, AND SCREW ALL OF KONOHA
| iwish328 chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
its kinda pathetic that he has to create girls to get laid
| Liger01 chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
good fic, only thing you should change is, saying sasuke is going to kill naruto and take the girls, shich is kind of stupid, also shouldn't they whisper it, instead of trying to let naruto know every second how much they hate him. You could have had naruto start business considering all the knowledge he has, to build up money and maybe get seat in the council even.
| Manga154 chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
This is vary good, I love how things are explained in the end! I hope to read more soon!
| secretagentman1 chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
Awesome story continue
also are you planning on recreating the vizards and the espada as well
| Mas2009 chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
I like your idea so don't stop writing and hope you update soon. I'll save critism for later.
| Kiyomaro-kun chapter 1 . 4/14/2012
it's an hard challenge so good luck, the start and the plot are more than interesting, there are some small grammar mistake but they are not all too important. Please keep udating 'cause this story can be really great!
| 120991ln chapter 1 . 4/13/2012
i absolutely love your fanfic
| Dark Avenger874 chapter 1 . 4/13/2012
Awesome! So now Naruto hast recreated the Soul Society and building his own personal army of Shinigami. Also, thank you for not using the Naru/Hina pairing or any Konoha female for that matter. Its really great to see something different and Naru/Hina is overused. Update soon!
| jgreek chapter 1 . 4/13/2012
its a great story and i hope you update soon
| Description Destroyer chapter 1 . 4/13/2012
The idea is interesting. I want to say that first.
But you spent WAY too much time describing the various characters and their hair/clothing/whatever else. It was dull beyond belief, especially since you just lumped them all in together and didn't seem to even TRY to actually integrate it into the story.
If you're going to spend that much time describing everybody, at least try to make it INTERESTING, instead of a dragging, monotonous blob of information. As it stands I couldn't bother reading any but the OCs data... I just skimmed over the rest to get back to the actual story.
Character data sheets and hair/clothing/appearance/blah blah descriptions that drag on without ANYTHING to make them interesting, contrary to what some may believe, don't help a story. They're just info dumps that a lot of people skip.
Just my two bits.
| ShINaiX chapter 1 . 4/13/2012
Man...This is a really cool idea. I like what your doing with Naruto setting up his own version of the Seireitei and the Captains of the 13 Court Guard squad. Although, shouldn't Naruto watch out if Aizen, Gin, and Tosen have any of their originals personalities?
I hope the Hogyoku gave him a warning at least, so that the past doesn't repeat itself. Mayuri is someone to watch out for as well, and it's funny that Naruto brought him back instead of Kisuke, especially with his past self's treatment of Nemu. In fact, if he wanted to...he could replace Aizen, Tosen, and Gin with Lisa, Hiyori, and Mashiro. Maybe even Kūkaku Shiba or Yoruichi? :D
Its also interesting with Naruto creating a second group of the Seireitei. I would like to suggest making it comprised of the Espada. The members I'd like to vote for are:
Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck
Dordoni Alessandro Del Socaccio
I didn't include Nnoitra, Szayel, Aaroniero or Yammy because they are major league asses, and Naruto is trying to get rid of memories of dealing with guys like that.
This would also help to swell Naruto's clan and ranks. Tier like her counterpart, would want her friends back and Sung-Sun, Apacci and Mila Rose could be brought back.
For the sheer comedy of it, you could have Naruto bring back some of Baraggan's forces like Charlotte Chuhlhourne. (LOL! Imagine a fight between him, and Gai Sensei or Lee. lol! Beauty(*pffft*) Vs. Youth! Comedy gold!)
With Starrk back then that would mean Lilynette returns as well. You could even bring back Aizen's old Arrancar attendants Loly Aivirrne and Menoly Mallia.
With so many women that he could start his new clan with, I would keep the Uzumaki Clan and Konoha as the main antagonists for Naruto and his allies. A new spin would be to keep the allies that he had in canon hating him, or being indifferent to his plight. Like Gaara being controlled by his father, but liking that his Kage is choosing strong targets for him and 'mother' to kill to prove his existence. I like the idea of having Narutothe Seireitei, and the Arrancar forces Vs. Konoha/Iwa/Kumo/Akatsuki. Those battles would be really awesome! -
If you want to use any of my suggestions for your story, feel free to use them. I really like this story, it's got a lot of promise. :)
Great chapter! Looking forward to reading more of your updates! -
| ForeverFallen76 chapter 1 . 4/13/2012
I gotta admit, this is another one of your stories that has ensnared me! So far, everything seems to be well explained, or there's enough hints to lead to a sturdy conclusion. I honestly can't wait until Naruto opens a huge can of Whoop-Ass on the Uzumaki Clan and Konoha as a whole! Its going to be epic! Anyways, he can leave Konoha whenever he wants and they can't stop him. He was never trained and never went to the academy, or even applied. So, he can get up, pack his crap, and walk out the front door all the while telling the village to kiss his firm tanned ass (if Naruto doesn't say so himself)! LOL!
Anyways, I am looking forward to your next update and I hope that its soon. Because, as of now, I'm hooked! Later.