|Reviews for The One|
| X chapter 5 . 11/2/2012
I really like the storyline, but I got a bit confused at times.
| Kitty chapter 2 . 11/2/2012
Improve spelling and grammar.
| RisingErin chapter 6 . 10/26/2012
good work ,when will the next chapter be posted?
| B.Sxx chapter 6 . 9/17/2012
Cool. Update soon.
| B.Sxx chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
Good start to what looks like a good story, keep up the good work.
| squigle.x chapter 6 . 9/16/2012
I must say my beta-ing is rather fetching :P
| eve chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
its okay but you could do better
| RavenRose8 chapter 6 . 9/4/2012
great chapter bit fast paced and short
| Rattyrat chapter 5 . 9/3/2012
Like it please continue
| RavenRose8 chapter 5 . 8/27/2012
great chapter can't wait for more can you make it a bit clearer when people are talking so who's talking I was a bit confused at the start
| squigle.x chapter 2 . 8/14/2012
Good, good, good. REMEMBER always start speech on a new line, you are getting better! just got a bit confused in placces but it is muy bien
| Rosie chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
good story :)
| squigle.x chapter 1 . 7/9/2012
Cool story bro. You need to start each set of speech on a new line as ot makes it easier to read. Also a bit fast paced and jumpy, and you sort of flit between past and presemt e.g. I get in the house should be i got in the house as the rest of the story is I aaid, I did, etc? Of that makes any sense :p
| FreakyPigeon.com chapter 1 . 4/26/2012
The storyline is good, and I like the way it is quite original. One piece of constructive critism I would like to make is that there are a couple of spelling mistakes such at fortnight, and tonight, so maybe you would benefit from having a beta reader. Also, to make the story easier for the reader, you could separate out the paragraphs into shorter ones.
Hope to see more of this story soon,
| Hay chapter 1 . 4/19/2012
Wow this is so cool i hope you keep on going on with it