|Reviews for Brothers|
| Aria Breuer chapter 1 . 7/11/2013
This was a good story to read.
I caught some errors in the story: In the first sentence, "Merry was sitting on his bed crying." there needs to be a comma after "bed". Hobbiton needs to be capitalized as I just spelled it. There needs to be a hyphen between "Sackville" and "Baggins", and in "Sackville-Baggins" that needs to be spelled instead in Merry's dialogue as "Sackville-Bagginses", but it could be either one. These two sentences are fragments, or so it sounds, "He walked into the room, and sat on the bed. He faced Merry whose face was wet with tears." Also, there's a comma missing after "Merry". "loosing" needs to be spelled as "losing" in one of Merry's dialogues. There's also commas missing in various dialogue, needed periods in some dialogue and other punctuation errors. In Merry's last dialogue, "A little. Can I sleep you tonight?" you are missing a "with" between "sleep" and "you". Other than all these grammatical errors, everything else was all right.
Moving away from the editing part of the review, something I don't often like doing but do it anyway, the story itself and its plot were good. I'm sure there wasn't much of a plot, since it was a conversation between Frodo and Merry, but the story itself was interesting and a nice read. I'm glad Merry had some comfort from Frodo, before Frodo left Brandy Hill and Buckland for Hobbiton.
Good work, though. I enjoyed reading this story.
| Zinka17 chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
Aw, so adorable!
| musicvip78 chapter 2 . 8/14/2012
This is sooo cute! Awwww! Awesome job!
| Saphirabrightscale chapter 1 . 6/17/2012
Aw so sweet!
| Larner chapter 1 . 4/25/2012
Oh, but I can imagine this! Gently done exploration of that parting!
Good luck with your writing!