|Reviews for Mind Reader|
| musicalgirl4474 chapter 10 . 6/14
That was very nicely done. I love the premise and the writing is superb. :)
| Malyx Blackfyre chapter 10 . 5/4
| Stars of Artemis chapter 2 . 4/12
Okay, I already LOVE this story. I don't think anyone has come up with this idea before, so props to you for originality! And Anakin's protectiveness of Ahsoka is utterly perfect. I can so easily imagine them in this kind of situation, fending for themselves, and I think your Anakin's reactions to these circumstances and the way he acts toward Ahsoka are very in character. Some constructive advice? I think some of your sentences could be worded a bit better...such as the way you described Anakin's feelings towards the dancers and how he felt differently- a familial love- toward Ahsoka. It's a bit awkwardly worded and hard to process at first, and I noticed a couple more like that. But on the whole- stunning job! I rarely leave feedback, but this story truly deserves it. My only regret is that there are only ten chapters, so I know I'm going to finish it soon :) Keep up the great work!
| Dragonfan47 chapter 10 . 2/17
Can you write a sequel to this please? Its really cool, and I'd like to see how Ani meets Padme for the first time. Also, could Anakin's mom, Satine and Lux be included? Please?
| Historian1912 chapter 4 . 11/13/2014
I really hate to be critical, but you're starting to push the whole Jedi order into OOC territory here. Even if you don't count the EU, the two are definitely too old for Jedi training, which is the only excuse I can think of for the Jedi to detain them at all. With that in mind the Jedi should have removed the transmitters as an act of kindness and let them be on their way. If they wanted to get really involved they could maybe help Ahsoka reconnect with her family, but that would be the end of it; she doesn't merit that much special treatment in the middle of a war. Being a would-be Jedi initiate before her kidnapping does not override the age requirement. The fact that the Jedi did not even ask the two what they wanted also rubs me the wrong way. This isn't the Jedi order I'm familiar with.
There is also a bit of an issue with your paragraph format. When persons are speaking to each other, each person should get their own paragraph regardless of its length. It makes things much clearer that way.
| Divine Protector of Skyrim chapter 10 . 12/24/2013
I think that it will be nicer if it was longer then ten chapters
| x Bout as Stable as the Wind x chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Oh this is cool.
| cje24576 chapter 10 . 2/2/2013
I hope you'll eventually do a sequel! I would love to see where you take this! Nicely done!
| novelreader chapter 9 . 1/13/2013
are you kidding me, Satina can be pretty fiery to, if she wants to. you saw how they argue in the shows. Lets face it, Obi-Wan just happens to like fiery spunky blond girls._
| novelreader chapter 10 . 1/13/2013
wow, yoda opened his eyes about relationships. I wonder if he has a secret beau? yaddle, anyone!
well, this has been a nice fic, question: Are you gonna do a sequel?
| novelreader chapter 7 . 1/13/2013
"Send them back into the galaxy we cannot. Learn much they have. Dangerous and foolhardy it would be." The aged Jedi Master said.
Why does Yoda keep repeating that?
What do you suggest we do?" Obi-Wan asked, curious. "Train them we must. Save the galaxy young Skywalker will." Master Yoda answered.
I'm lost, when did they have this converstation about Anikan probably saving the galaxy?
| novelreader chapter 3 . 1/13/2013
I like this chapter for some reason. Anakin is soo mature! I'm suprised, and am not sure how to react! Do you think he would be more mature if he stayed in tatoine rather then go to coruscant and become a jedi. Probably, we learn more from experiences rather then teachings even if Obi-Wan is a great mentor that and 9 year old Anikan would probably not be suspicious of a intrusive Chancilor interested in a young slave boy's welfare and future but a mature 21-22 year old Anikan would. I love that he's a mind reader, here he has better insight in the darkness of people. Will he ever become Darth Vader, who knows? Do I want him too? eh!
Also I like that Asohka is his student, it's like it's fate! They were slaves and their lives were obviously not great, but it's amazing how calm and solemn they are, soo unlike the wild and crazy team they are in canon!
| novelreader chapter 2 . 1/13/2013
"Stupid Jedi. He thought before turning to enter Jabba's Palace."
I chuckled a little at this, you do know Dooku is an elderly man in his sixties not an angry six year old. _
| shieldmaiden19 chapter 10 . 8/29/2012
WHOO-HOO! Marvelous conclusion! :D I can't wait to read what comes next (if you choose to continue this storyline).
| scifiromance chapter 10 . 8/29/2012
Well, I liked this story very much! It's great that Anakin and Ashoka are happy being trained. :)
Thanks for writing! :)