|Reviews for Target Acquired
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/6/2012
I love this, this entire thing. I hope you update soon
| EggplantWitch chapter 8 . 7/6/2012
Astkjdfdglkas this was like...not 'cute' per say but like really...nice. That was a feeble, feeble word but it's really the only word I can use to describe it. You took us from feeling worried for Chell's health and sanity, and then she finds the turret and the food and she and Wheatley are warming up to each other and it's like a sigh of relief.
I only just noticed how badly I've been neglecting to review this (sorry sorry sorry), so I've got something else here to review: Your skill with writing both Chell and Wheatley. I only just noticed how you've been building up their relationship, very slowly, brick by brick. She's beginning to stop being so annoyed and careless with him, and he's started trying to vaguely comprehend that she thinks and feels, all while weaving this into a plot. It's an excellent skill to have developed, one I'm a million miles away from. Anyway, that was it, really, just wanted to attempt to make up for my complete laziness when it comes to reviewing this. As always, looking forward (immensely) to the next chapter!
| reverse-mermaid chapter 8 . 7/6/2012
Heeeeey, I am continuing to really enjoy this fic. You are truly a machine for cranking out so much material in such a relatively short span and I will never fail to be baffled by the sheer size of this thing - you're talking to a lady who spent a week on a 500 word oneshot.
I have to agree with the anonymous reviewer from below; in places, this fic has perhaps been a little slow, and I've found it a bit heavy going at times. Understandable, though - sometimes there are places in a story when you have to build. HOWEVER, this is happily no longer the case!
You've picked up the pace and things are really coming together. We have a turret! We have coordinates! We have a lighter! We have potatoes! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
AND we have effective relationship building! I've been looking at this for a few chapters now and you are killing it on that front. There seems to be trend in fic where Chell and Wheatley only encounter some initial awkwardness before being all hunky-dory again and running off to save science, but you haven't done that. You're eight chapters in and they are still only barely scraping the surface of beginning to trust one another again, and half of that is only because they don't have any other choice. You're showing the WORK that goes into learning to trust someone and I really enjoy reading it.
Keep on keeping on, man - you're writing the hell out of this thing. :)
| BabyCharmander chapter 8 . 7/5/2012
Aww, this was a nice chapter! I'm glad Chell FINALLY got some rest, and some food-even if it's... really gross, rotting potatoes. Man, the description here-especially the beginning-I swear I could feel how filthy and exhausted she was.
Wheatley was so sweet here, actually showing genuine concern. I felt really bad for him when he thought Chell had left. D:
"Great, I'm hypothetically engaged to an idiot computer." This line. It is the best line. I laughed so hard. XD
I did not see any instances of FFN eating the punctuation or spacing or dialogue, so HOORAY! Looking forward to the next chapter!
| LilyGirl1o1 chapter 8 . 7/5/2012
Oh my god. Is that...no. That can't be the end. THAT CAN'T BE ALL THERE IS. :O *pouts*
Sooo, in case you haven't figured it out, I absolutely LOVE this! :D I found this story on TUMBLR, and I didn't know if I was gonna like it, but it's absolutely lovely so far! I love the way you've represented all the characters, especially Wheatley. XD I always liked Wheatley. Chell too. :3 She's kinda sassy.
I can't wait to see what you're going to do with this! It's already an amazing action story and a good what-if from the game! :) So. *sits on the floor and waits* I will just...sit here. Until the next update. See you then! :3
| Guest chapter 8 . 7/5/2012
I really liked this chapter! Aw, Wheatley worries too much. But I can tell things are going to get really exciting soon! Keep it up!
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/1/2012
...It's good. Great even.
Takes a while to get interesting though...
P.S - I didn't have time to read the over pages so this might be a bit wrong. If the score is to low, my bad. If it's to high, your welcome.
P.P.S - I like portal, and french fries. ALOT.
| BabyCharmander chapter 7 . 6/29/2012
woahcrap this chapter was crazy. Throughout the whole thing I was wondering if GLaDOS was actually going to catch them. D%;; I think I actually shouted "Oh CRAP" when the computer called Wheatley "ID core."
That was clever how Wheatley figured out how to get the turret, but... then of course it turns out to be a terrible idea at the same time. Like most of his ideas.
And geez, Chell has superpowers or something to be able to carry Wheatley AND the turret despite her exhaustion. Fear and determination can make you do crazy things. Oo; Man I hope she'll be able to get some rest, though.
I didn't catch missing spaces this time, but I did find this: "! Pull it out, pull it out!" Unless that lone exclamation point was intentional, I think FFN ate some dialogue...
Overall, awesome chapter. Looking forward to the next one!
| Princess of Rose chapter 7 . 6/29/2012
This chapter is fantastic! You really have mastered all of their personalities.
Poor Chell. She can only take so much more...
| Guest chapter 7 . 6/28/2012
This really is brilliant.
No, really. I can't stress how absolutely amazing this fanfiction is.
First off, you have an entirely believable situation. If this kind of thing happened, this is exactly what the characters would do.
Secondly, it's very realistic. Chell gets tired and hungry. The cores and turrets are heavy to carry. It's all so believable, even in the many little things that happen. It could absolutely be a plot that you would see in Portal. You could even imagine the gameplay involved.
Your descriptions are fantastic. Every character is in character.
I particularly like the way you've depicted Wheatley- he's obviously sorry, though he isn't good at showing it. He's still rude, though unintentionally.
This shows just how dangerous Aperture really is; how slim a chance of survival they have, if this impossible plan even works. This story adds more depth to everything you see in Portal and Portal 2- you learn more about the characters, the setting- everything.
All in all, this is a beautifully written fanfiction. You know how to stretch situations out, really add feeling to what's happening. Every chapter I can't wait to see more. Please continue soon!
| Sly-Black-Rabbit chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
There's so much I like about this! I loved the structure, and the way the chapter starts off with inside references, and then there are the perfectly-quoted lines from the game. It was really interesting reading about Chell's point of view and seeing what she's thinking, but never says.
| Silverstreams chapter 6 . 6/25/2012
I cannot believe that I haven't already reviewed this story. I'm pretty sure that I've been following it since the first few chapters came out, and I eagerly await every single update. It's like waiting for a new episode of your favorite tv show, I swear.
This story deserves to have hundreds of reviews. Seriously. It's one of the most well-written Portal stories I've ever pacing and plotting are amazing, and your characterization is flawless.
I love the way you write Wheatley, especially. Those long rambles he gives are so easy to imagine in his voice-I can always picture him saying the lines. I also like the way he's changed a little bit from Portal 2, but it still the same 'ol Wheatley.
Your characterization of Chell is very well done, also. I like the way you get into her head, especially, and how you create that feeling of constant paranoia, almost panic that's pushing her through the facility and towards her freedom. I can't help but root for her the entire time.
I also think that your GLaDOS is quite terrifying at times, which is perfect. She's not meant to be all nice and cuddly, and you do an excellent job with that :3
| BabyCharmander chapter 6 . 6/25/2012
Long chapters are fine by me! More to look forward to with each update. :D And haha, I remembered to keep the review window open as I read so I can catch stuff this time!
...PFFFhaha for some reason this sentient computer is cracking me up. XD And the defective turret-he's pretty much spot-on.
Some of the stuff here I hadn't thought much about before, like how cold some parts of the facility must be, or how scary evil!Wheatley must have been for Chell. I recall he kinda scared me a bit in the game, but more from the damage he was causing due to his incompetence than anything else.
...D: And now I feel really bad for Chell. Man, Wheatley, just find some food for her already.
Here's the missing punctuation and spacing I caught, by the way:
"screw tightening, overwhelming urge to run that came next,because" Missing space before "because," and there should be a dash between "screw" and "tightening" since it's used as an adjective.
"'Auuuugghh,'he groaned quietly" Missing a space before "he."
"Maybe he wasn't a mastermind like shewas" Missing a space between "she" and "was."
"We oughta teach this camera-thingy a lesson or two…" This line is missing the quotation mark at the end.
Man, why does FFN like to eat spacing and punctuation?
Anyway, this chapter was great! Looking forward to the next one.
| BabyCharmander chapter 5 . 6/17/2012
...WHY does this fic not have more reviews? I MUST REMEDY THIS.
Holy crap this is one of the best post-game adventure fics I've read! Your description is excellent-even though some of this is stuff we've already seen in the game, your descriptions help bring the little details back to memory.
The characters are great, too! Everyone's IC, and I love how oblivious Wheatley is at times. XD Of course, Chell's muteness doesn't help him much there. Speaking of, the way you write Chell is awesome. I like how she didn't immediately forgive Wheatley and even now still doesn't fully trust him, and her internal dialogue is probably one of the best parts of the fic so far.
Wheatley being ticklish to the sparks of electricity was rather amusing. XD I hope he's all right, though.
I didn't really see any grammar errors, aside from random spots of spacing and words being missing, but I think that's just FFN or something. It eats some of the words and spacing and stuff in my fics too.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 6/15/2012
Im surprised this hasnt more reviews. Its amazing. Do continue.