Reviews for Target Acquired
Silverstreams chapter 22 . 9/7/2013
Hey I recognize those two songs! :3 And I can see why they were your inspiration… "I'm waking uppp.."

I love how in the beginning here it hasn't entirely sunk in that he's not a robot anymore. He keeps making all of those comparisons to computer things, and I also like how you use lub-dub as the sound of a heartbeat throughout the chapter. Aaah poor Wheatley though…he's so disoriented, and I feel so bad for him.

I also think it's interesting how (like in the games) GLaDOS 'leaves' and 'comes back' even though technically she can see everything at once. It just strikes me as a little piece of humanity she's got left over in her…I also liked the detail about GLaDOS shoving all of those painful memories beneath her—and because of that, I can see why Wheatley's there as well.

And oh nooo Wheatley noo. The line that gave me the most feels in this chapter was THIS ONE: "She was trapped, and so was he—there was no way for him to rescue her, this time."

And gah GLaDOS is back and she is definitely intimidating. (I am sooo happy to see her though!)

And heeheh I loved the reference in there to the tile. And gah that bolt of electricity makes me think of the core transfer. That must be so painful agh. But what's even MORE painful is GLaDOS speaking (though rather cryptically) about Caroline's upload gaaaah.

It does make sense that Wheatley wouldn't have known about that, and owch this is PAINFUL (and ee a reference to Doug!). Oh wow the atmosphere in that small room is so eerie, especially the way that you describe it.

I also really liked when GLaDOS almost took pity on him—it's fitting for her, but soo many feels aah. Especially when Wheatley messes up and then that hint of kindness vanishes. I mean, he does apologize, but the damage has already been done x3

Gah moving panels are SCARY. Poor Wheatley, though…and I am really glad that GLaDOS let Wheatley go into a vault.

BabyCharmander chapter 22 . 9/7/2013

Nooo, Wheatley, those are not simulations… Those are real. Awww, everything’s so confusing for him. I like how he refers to heartbeats as “lub-dub.” Hm… I thought he’d broken his nose when he fell earlier, but was that glasses, or what? Oh geez, how is he ever gonna function like this…? …Okay though I do have to laugh at him worrying over drooling but at the same time I feel really bad. XD; Okay I’m laughing a lot. Poor thing.

…wait no I’m not laughing now. Don’t cry. ;;

UUGH that neurotoxin comment made me shiver. …And then Wheatley’s wondering if Doug was the subject of the transfer made me facepalm. …and then he’s crying again aaaaaa I am getting mood whiplash ;O; Not a bad thing though.

“like expecting the mute lunatic to perform the electric slide while testing and singing, and singing is not science” oh my gosh GLaDOS AHAHAHAHAHA.

Aww, his wanting to try holding hands with Chell is sweet. But he misses being a core… D: Haha, no, Wheatley, hair is not mold.

Poor Wheatley! He really is struggling with his human body here. I hope he can get used to it soon. D: And sorry this review isn’t as long as the ones I normally leave—I was too caught up in the chapter to make a lot of comments, eheh.

Here are a few things I caught as I was reading:

“He lie there, feeling and yet not feeling” Is it lie or lay? That is the one grammatical thing I cannot keep straight. D%; But I think it should be lay, here?

“Audial sensors” Aural! Aural is hearing.

“but he had now power of his own, now” Had no power?
Jaywings chapter 22 . 9/7/2013
Yay, Wheatley's back! I love the way everything is described here, and I think it's very realistic for the conscious of a a limbless robot suddenly being shoved into a living human body. Ahaha the mold thing made me laugh.

Awwww poor Wheatley :(
steph chapter 22 . 9/7/2013
Oh, I love this chapter. The idea that Wheatley couldn't move because his mind wasn't designed to move something that heavy is an idea I've never heard of before but it definately makes sense. The way you describe things is fantastic. I think this story is brilliant and I can't wait for the next chapter.
Commander Allie chapter 21 . 8/6/2013
So is Caroline Glados then? I liked the flashback scenes, and I think you do quite a good job on both Glados and Wheatley's characters. :) This story is so interesting!
pandaheadpancake chapter 21 . 7/27/2013
Wow this fic is amazing. I tried to put into words how much I like it but nothing that I type really makes sense so I'll say that words cannot describe.. the lovely friendship between Wheatley and Chell, the VERY interesting flashbacks to old aperture from Caroline (I never really considered Carolines past.. I adore your take on how she got hired!). Wahh! Love love love love love it! 3
BabyCharmander chapter 21 . 7/22/2013

Oh man, I love how you write young!Caroline. Her love of science is amazing and frightening… Also, I think I can see how she’s going to get hired; I’m reminded of one of Cave’s lines: “I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me.” Also your descriptions are really fantastic here—I like the “rainbow of grey shadows.”

…Wait is that an actual AI talking to her/watching her, or is it someone…? There’s something really bizarre about her conversation with this computer—it’s got such a mysterious quality to it. And it’s… kinda scary, to be honest. (One thing, though—your constantly repeating adjectives (such as “chocolate” to describe Caroline’s eyes) can get a little distracting at times.) Dang, who the heck is communicating with her?



“our science is as safe as our future is bright” ooooooooooooooh.

Okay I already know he’s going to hire her but DANG this is still getting really exciting.

Somehow I knew it would be a coffee machine, haha. Also oh wow I really love the way you describe Cave. …HAH and I knew she was going to figure to use the repulsion gel with the QTD!


The transition between Caroline’s scene and GLaDOS’s is rather jarring—and it should be. They both have a totally different feeling. It’s kindof awesome.


Oh man though this chapter was seriously amazing. I'm not sure which part I liked more-Caroline talking to the mysterious computer, or her interview with Cave. THAT scene, by the way, was fantastic-it was such a happy, exciting scene (and Cave Johnson was absolutely perfect, as was his interaction with Caroline), yet I was suddenly struck with sadness when I remembered just how everything turned out for the two of them. Man. And I'm also wondering just who was behind the computer she was talking to...

aaaaaaaa I cannot wait for the next chapter!
Silverstreams chapter 21 . 7/22/2013
I really do love reading your writing, mostly because it's so different than mine. You are so good at long and flowing paragraphs that provides such lush detail about the surroundings. For instance, the way you first describe Old Aperture is just ajfkd;afjdkl;a

Love the detail about her skirt flowing, and all of the little descriptions from the vitrified testing chambers aaahaha. Interesting that you have cameras around in the 1950's….though if anyone would have them around, it would be Aperture.

I also LOVE HOW ADORABLE CAROLINE IS IN THIS. Seriously. You've really captured her enthusiastic and bright personality in the way she thinks and the way she acts and it's just perfect aaaaaah.

I have to admit that the computer threw me off a little bit considering the time, but it didn't distract me too much. Aperture WOULD be pretty far ahead in terms of technology yes. And I am curious as to who—or what—was running those vault door monitors. Love the little detail of the underscore after the words. I can almost 'see' it blinking at me and it's awesome.

Liked the bit about her misspelled name heeheh. I catch myself almost saying it wrong at times (sort of the opposite problem). Interesting that, despite knowing Cave's looking for her, she continues on and into the vault.

UGH THE BIT ABOUT HER BEING A GOOD PERSON I CAN'T. Are you trying to take my feels and smash them to pieces? But I do like how she doesn't agree with that….it's interesting. Hmmm also love the atmosphere created once the doors are opened.

GOODBYE CAROLINE aaaaaaAAAAAAA you are a perfect human being.

Your cover picture for this chapter is lovely and really enhances this next part. I love the Human Vault and I just realized that this probably plays an important part with Wheatley later on, doesn't it? As always I love all of the pamphlets and signs. You are so excellent at making them sound so very Aperture.

Oh man, though. Already feeling a bit creeped out at Caroline's views toward test subjects…entirely too perfect.

Mmm Cave's office really is the center of this place. Continuing the tradition of C names, I see…and I love Caroline's dialogue in this. She is just so happy and I can hear her voice in my head and it's perfect.

The description about mathematical formulas made a lot of sense to me too—it was a good way to describe the complex man that is Cave.

You made me fangirl so hard inside with this next part. Seriously. I was thinking about it earlier today and it just made my heart happy. So many Caveline feels I can't. This was by far my favorite part of this chapter heeeeeeeeee. Ugh they are so cute together and I could completely picture this scene. And the bit about repulsion gel…perfect.

THEY ARE TOO CUTE. They shouldn't be allowed to be this cute aaah. And 'Goodbye, Sir." ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH FEELS?

The connection back to GLaDOS and the DLC aaagh. It works so well.

What a lovely chapter. I look forward to your next one, and good luck with writing it!
Indigo Tantarian chapter 21 . 7/21/2013
I love the dark, hopeless atmosphere in the beginning. And I LOVE how even in the face of that, and all the danger, Caroline really just wants to see more into Aperture!
And Cave is just so excited and brash and full of life. Perfect. The chemistry between them is great.
Caroline makes GLaDOS seem... less, somehow. As powerful and strong as She is, Caroline is much MORE.
This was great!
Jaywings chapter 20 . 7/5/2013
I finally read/caught up with this story, and wow! I really like it! This and Blue Sky (have you read that? It's AMAZING) are basically the only Portal fanfics I've read... so now i'm pretty much an idiot for even considering writing any of my own because wow... Anyway, this is really well-written and well-characterized.
Of course, I don't know too much about Portal fanfiction due to how little I've read, but I know that turning Wheatley human/into an android is a VERY common theme, and I have to admit that I was a little disappointed that that's what happened in this story (I will nearly always overwhelmingly prefer characters in their canon forms). BUT you caught me completely off-guard with it since it happened 19 CHAPTERS INTO THE STORY HAHA, and I'm glad that it's something you've been planning from the beginning rather than just throwing it in there. Also I imagine that Wheatley as a human will be hilarious, awesome, and also heartbreakingly sad, and I can't wait to read what happens next.
I fail at writing reviews... but I really like this so far, and it sounds like you've got a really long way to go yet, and I'm excited to read the next part!
Indigo Tantarian chapter 20 . 6/8/2013
The description of Orange's migraine and her interactions with Blue are terrific. I love those two! Their differences are nicely worked, and I like that even though they don't see eye to eye, they never question the fact that they'll work together towards a common goal.

Cave's speeches are the best. You write him well! And I love how Caroline falls in love with all Aperture's craziness.

...And that breaking the rules at the end is why Caroline was hired. She knows how to get the job done at any cost.

BabyCharmander chapter 20 . 6/1/2013
OKAY this chapter is way long so I am going to have to write my review as I go along, otherwise I will likely forget things I want to say!

First off, I'd never thought about how the co-op bots probably get uncomfortable after being re-assembled. I'd always assumed that they would be totally fine afterward, but it makes sense that sometimes everything doesn't fit together exactly right. Ouch, poor Orange. D% But I love the way you write their relationship: very close friends that understand each other and complement each other. Also love the quirks you've given them, especially how Orange doesn't like to kill turrets. Awwww.

Oooh, so you did work the co-op DLC into the story! Awesome, I was wondering about that. %D Geez, though, poor Wheatley and Chell... Oh GLaDOS, I don't think you'll ever be ready for whatever Chell comes up with. And... guh, I hope she doesn't kill Carrie. D:

Love the bits of... computer lines (for lack of a better term) you use in this fic. It makes it feel more... real, I suppose.

Yes, this definitely feels like Michigan weather... (And thank you for capitalizing Upper Peninsula, BTW-that's a detail that's easily missed.) And "Michigan accent..." It feels weird to hear that term. XD;;

Daisy Bell, huh? Hehehe. I like these characters you have here-I can picture them pretty vividly. "Fourty-six." XD ...Also oh gosh I just realized ALL THEIR NAMES START WITH C. (Caroline, Cecil, Clifford, Cave, Chell... good gravy.)

Oh my gosh Cave’s dialogue is perfect. XDXD And I’m really liking how you’re characterizing Caroline here, how bright and enthusiastic she is, and how she views Cave just from his portrait alone and how she views Aperture itself. (Though on a different note, “brainchild” isn’t used quite right here—in this context, Aperture would be Cave’s brainchild, not the other way around.) She’s brilliant—and scarily so.

Once again, brilliant descriptions. I swear I can feel the nasty, humid heat along with Caroline. DX Makes me think of Florida. And… oh crap they really are going to be testing, aren’t they?

And again I really like these characters. Even though we’re only seeing glimpses of them here from Caroline’s memories, they are definitely three-dimensional.


OHMYGOSH IS CAROLINE OKAY—wait, ahahahhhaha repulsion gel, of course… XDXD Okay Caroline is awesome and I love your characterization of her.

Wooow this chapter took me a while to read (I am a slow reader D%) but it was totally worth it! I want to see what happens to Caroline next! Keep up the good work! :D
Silverstreams chapter 20 . 6/1/2013
Ohh gosh I am attempting to write a coherent review and man it is not happening. takjfdka;jk the feels they are everywhere. I even read this chapter twice...
First off, I love the bit about the disorientation the co-op babs feels whenever they're violently disassembled. It makes a lot of sense, especially with the way that you describe it. I like the way that they communicate-both in words, and in the gestures and the little noises they make in-game. Their body language is lovely as well, especially the way that they mess with one another. And aww Orange can't disable a turret. And I love her determination to help Wheatley and Chell...
and ajkfa;j what a PERFECT way to incorporate the DLC! It helps anchor your story in it will undoubtedly make me think of TA next time I play it.

And ahhhhhhh escape. I love escape so much, and that bit about GLaDOS reflecting on Chell game me serious feels. (My only complaint in this entire thing-and it's a very slight one!-is that you use quite a lot of italics in some portions which makes it slightly harder to read.)

You were right about the transitions. I do love how each section flows into the next. I liked the opening descriptions around Caroline...interesting how even back in the 1950's, when Aperture was still such a young and busy company, it still has such a lonely aura about it. Loved the bit about her spilling coffee, and also thought it was interesting that you kept up the theme of names beginning with a C. Cave, Caroline, Cecil, Clifford.

Oh and I love the receptionist lady and her inability to listen to what people cracks me up. And OOH you included the train! Both of these two new characters seem to fit in well with the world of Aperture. And ah I love Cecil's reaction to hearing Cave's voice...adorable. I could read it in his voice perfectly, so props for that. And aw Caroline's reaction to seeing Cave's portrait...I can already feel the impending adorableness and later heartbreak.

And of COURSE Cliff would be more concerned with the device than Cecil. Anyways, it looks like Caroline's 'interview' is going quite well so far. This chapter really did FLY by, and I cannot wait to read your next one!
Nightingale chapter 19 . 5/7/2013
This is fantastic! It's really gripping and you've captured the characters personalities really well! I'd love to find out what happens next!
NAC chapter 19 . 4/13/2013
Wow! I really enjoyed this! From the beginning, it was very descriptive and well-written, long and has a good plot line. please continue this fic!
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