Reviews for Briar Grimm
SkyePenderwick chapter 21 . 5/6
chapter 12 chapter 12 . 5/3
Guest chapter 1 . 7/18/2013
Not another hair dye prank! Seriously, Puck is way more creative than that.
smartblueladybug chapter 21 . 5/26/2013
Thanks for the shout out, that was really sweet. Also this is a really good story. I like where the romance is going, too.
smartblueladybug chapter 20 . 5/19/2013
This is really good my birthdays tomorrow so please update for my birthday? Pleeeeaaaase?
belltail chapter 19 . 3/29/2013

bye bye!
Meow chapter 18 . 3/26/2013
I really like that cliff hanger ending of chapter 18! It makes me want to read MORE!
Anyways Thanks For the Story! .
Maziecakes chapter 12 . 3/24/2013
That was sorta suckish...
Meow chapter 10 . 3/24/2013
What's with the random numbers at the end of each chapter?
Meow chapter 8 . 3/24/2013
I don't think Briar would've said " Come at me bro," It's not really Briar-ish. Anyways I agree with te other people, you should learn where to put your commas. You are missing a whole ton of them! Well thanks for the story! :)
Sabrina chapter 5 . 3/24/2013
Hi! I Really Love Your Story! And Btw It's Baba Yaga... Not Baba Yoga! And Your Story Stinks! I Hate It, You Shouldnt Have Named Her Briar. Anyways I Hope You Keep Writing! Love Your Story! 3
emilydd chapter 1 . 12/11/2012
I like this story so far, it's very cute. I like the way you portrayed the characters. I love how you named the daughter Briar.

My critiques:

First off the thing that I stumbled on was the first sentence,"Sabrina Grimm was going to kill Puck and very hard!" it doesn't draw you in. I mean it does, but in the wrong way. It just is a little stuffy and awkward. Try changing it to say, "All Sabrina could think about was which way was the most painful way to kill Puck." Something a little longer and stronger.

The other thing is that you forget to place commas a lot. I have the reverse problem, I LOVE COMMAS! ,,,,,, hahahaha. Just add some and the flow will be easier, because when you forget to add commas there can be a lot of confusion like:

It's time to eat Tom.
It's time to eat, Tom.

Here is an example in your story:

"Puck was trying to catch the person but right before he caught the girl(,) (delete as) Daphne had identified(,) pink insect wings popped out of her back.."

See when you take that one word and add the commas it makes it a lot smoother. Work on pacing. They killed the dragon faster than I realized that it was there.

But over all it is a really good, cute story! I like Briar. :) On wards to chapter 2
Alexandra Jackson rocks Hades chapter 16 . 11/8/2012
no no no no don't you dare think that
LethalRomanticGirl chapter 11 . 9/27/2012
Im in love with this story. Wonderful just wonderful
iizninja chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
Hi. (I don't know why I'm saying "hi" but I didn't wanna just jump into the review, ya know? I mean, I love surprises, but if I just started talking that could be kinda rude. Or… or not. I don't know. I'm tired. Sorry, let me meander my way back to the actual review. It's gonna be really long, by the way. :D I can't write anything but long reviews. It's a disease, I swear.)
Ya know… this is pretty good. I don't wanna sound rude -and if I offend you in ANY way during this review then you should inform me immediately because I really don't mean to -but I'm surprised. I clicked on this originally to get out of doing homework. I hate homework. But anyway, I wasn't expecting much because your summary was sad. As a reader I thought, "The author didn't bother to even make an EFFORT to do a grammar and spell check, so the story is probably horrible." And even though the first part is a valid point (I'd encourage you to look at that :D) this story ISN'T horrible! It's funny, and entertaining, and you've got the characters down! I ACTUALLY ENJOYED myself while reading this. Sure, there are a few missing commas and a few jumbled sentences but, when you get past that, it's really good. It's a shame you're not getting more reviews, cause what you've got here is really fantastic.
This is gonna sound lame, but as a reader I always look at the number of reviews on a story before I read it. Yeah, crazy me, but if there aren't at least 8 reviews per chapter then I'm usually not inclined to read it. I'm GLAD I broke my habit for this one and I'm GLAD I read this story. I just wanna say, GOOD JOB. I've actually got to go do my homework now (maybe we'll get a zombie apocalypse and I can skip studying anions and cations and the quantitative data of electrons that I don't particularly care about) but my opinion, for the nothing that it's worth, is two thumbs up!
Have you considered getting a beta? Just to clean up those summary issues and the few grammar errors? Because you've got a piece of gold right now, and I think more people would see that if it was refined a little bit.
But who am I? I'm the girl who's still trying to write the first chapter of a story that's been swirling in her head for over six months. :D Again, if anything I said rubbed you the wrong way then you can message me and tell me what you think of my opinions and where I can shove them. (: Just lending a friendly hand, and giving a hearty pat on the back. GOOD WORK! :D :D :D Can I get a wish of good luck as I venture into the code numbered world of principle energy levels? -_- I'm gonna need it.
PEACE! God Bless! iizninja
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