|Reviews for Game of Our Lives|
| Fast chapter 3 . 9/7/2012
So what are the teams gonna be? There are currently 103 Champs (not sure if that includes Syndra) so you could get 20 teams now. Anyway how did Nocturne get in this? He is sealed/binded because he killed summoners. Is that going to be addressed?
| Simba Pridelands chapter 3 . 8/16/2012
very cool cant wait for more
| creastirion101 chapter 3 . 8/13/2012
Mm really good! Hope ya keep writing3 I like the ashextrynd and cait partsXD The tournament sounds very interesting so I will be waiting
| TheLazyAnon chapter 3 . 8/12/2012
Interesting rules set in the tournament as well as character relation development. I'm also assuming that you're not gonna include any future champions following Diana to avoid future confusion in the team setups. Speaking of which, I have a request for Veigar and Tristana to e set in the same team, the same for Pantheon and Leona along with Singed and Riven. You can choose not to do this if you have other plans.
I am curious as to your ideas for the more mysterious champions such as Shaco, the Shadow Isle residents and The Void creatures.
All in all, great story and I hope to see more.
| Nobody chapter 3 . 8/11/2012
Hah, I didn't look until now what you wrote on the last chapter. Ah I had fun with the play and the flu and exams... Good times.
Keep the chapters coming, this story is gonna be good...
| Hurricane Kazama chapter 3 . 5/10/2012
Hmmm... Interesting... I take it you are going to use the talking about the map in the tutorial? The one that morello will make into a 1v1 map when he isn't thinking about how to nerf Irelia?
Talking about Irelia, can I request a team of
Irelia, Riven, Ezreal, Janna, Sona?
| Caladbolg777 chapter 3 . 5/9/2012
I definitely like your story idea, but I do have some critiques of it. I think your characterization is pretty good, but it seems that maybe there is not a lot of detail in their inner thoughts - which you have the option of leaving out, but I think it would also make a more dynamic story if we see the motivations behind people's decisions besides just dialogue.
I like your suggestion of Morgana and Kayle working together so they have the freedom to fight once they win. I was thinking in my own mind of a story where the most dangerous and insane characters are freed and run amok in Valoran - you know, rivers of blood flow through the streets of Demacia for the lolz kind of insane. Anyway, I can see that idea also translate into this story if they are given the freedom. In my mind, those would probably be Brand, Nocturne, Shaco, and Fiddlesticks.
Moving on, I do think you need a little details of your settings - for example, what does the Grand Hall look like? How grand is it?
And with the announcement, it did seem a little odd that you had the Summoners give the champions one announcement to meet up, only to be told of another announcement. To me, the Summoners were also a little too direct in their speeches. I wouls imagine these people would have a dignified and almost wordy tone to the way they speak because they are essentially the most powerful organization in all of Runeterra. They would also be incredibly organized to prevent other summoners from going rogue and becoming corrupt - so the fact that their first announcement is almost a little redundant doesn't match the summoners as a group.
The summoners have a way of communicating with everyone to announce that they will have a meeting as you showed in your writing, so my recommendation for this would be the summoners announce they will have a meeting where everyone is required to attend, then in that meeting they explain all of the rules of the tournament (like you did with the third chapter), and then give the champions a few days (I think 5 to 7) to form teams and strategies - then they will have another meeting where teams officially report their members.
This way you have some proverbial time to have champions think about options with team building and with people moving around (because realistically it could happen - not everyone is going to go out of their way to recruit Kog'Maw, Twitch, and Fiddlesticks for example).
One thing that I see that your characters do not address is motivation on the summoners' part to have this event. It seemed like you were heading in that direction and you deliberately had that part sidetracked with Tristana asking where Teemo was. That's cool, but I do think that you should have champions questioning the reason for this tournament, like immediately. The champions may not have a chance to ask the summoners directly, but they would be trying to reason out why this is happening - particularly the ones that are involved in politics or power like Swain, Jarvan, Irelia, Caitlyn, Ashe, Tryndamere, Karma, Soraka, Katarina, maybe Garen, and maybe Lux. I would think the Ionians would be the most concerned with this concept since it could potentially throw the whole world out of balance depending on who wins. The Demacians and Noxians would be wary of each other, and the Demacians would also likely be with the Ionians in worrying about who gets freed for the sake of justice. Caitlyn is interested because she is in charge of Piltover's safety etc.
You have some characters worrying about this, like Ashe, but for maybe the wrong reasons. Ashe would be more worried about political instability than hurting friends - not that she wouldn't be worried and hurt by hurting loved ones but potentially many many more would suffer than just the champions.
But back to my main point here - the question of Why needs to be asked. An answer doesn't have to be given, but the question needs to be asked. It wouldn't make sense if everyone just blindly agreed to the tournament without knowing who is responsible, and who wanted this event to be created and why.
Anyway, I look forward to reading more of this story, and I hope I didn't sound too critical of your writing. I do think you have the potential for a great story, but it also has some gaps that need to be filled.
Best of luck to you, and I hope to see you write more!
| random guy chapter 3 . 5/7/2012
Another exciting chapter! (featuring Ziggs too, yay!) Was pretty suprised that what Shaco said was true 0_o The plot thickens...
| Nobody chapter 3 . 5/6/2012
Oh please, I'm not that amazing... -shy blush-
Also, good to see more elaboration on the Kayle and Morgana part! Much more believable. I like it. Keep up the good work!
| O.verP.owered chapter 3 . 5/5/2012
Keep it going!
| random guy chapter 2 . 4/29/2012
Interesting story! One tiny request:
Please please include Veigar, Ziggs and Anivia in this fanfic! :3
| Nobody chapter 1 . 4/28/2012
Ok, well, I'm strangely unable to login. When I'm able again, I can discuss this with you.
| may yuki chapter 2 . 4/27/2012
Teemo with Shaco? Whoa.
| xXcloudless-skyXx chapter 1 . 4/27/2012
Hey.. Um Nobody o.o
I will really like you to be my editor. It will be really helpful! Thank you!
| Nobody chapter 2 . 4/27/2012
Being an editor is my calling. If you're interested, put a review here. I'll check back and pm you.