|Reviews for Lux: The College Years|
| Leppy99 chapter 1 . 7/30/2013
Love it cant wait for ur next update.,
| degrassilover16 chapter 1 . 6/24/2013
I love your writing so much! All ur stories are amamazing!
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/29/2013
Omg i love it
Ohh shes in college now nice
Cant wait for ur next update make sure its soon
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/20/2013
this is really creative
| red lighting chapter 1 . 5/25/2012
love it so far
| CrazieGirlie chapter 1 . 4/22/2012
Need the next chapter already love this story!
| luvtheheaven chapter 1 . 4/17/2012
"The University of Ohio" - are you sure you don't mean Oregon, where the show takes place? Ohio would probably be a longer drive than the one I always make between Maryland and Massachusetts for college - possible but if you're doing that long of a drive, shouldn't the extreme length be mentioned? And also if they're all going to such a random out-of-state school that's kinda a funny coincidence or an unusual plan for all 3 to choose that same faraway school in order to stay together lmao... :P
Also I'm kinda surprised Tasha is going to college. I mean, she's presumably still a foster kid and I wouldn't think they go to college too often, money restraints and culture and whatnot all working against wanting that... but if they did I suppose girls probably do more often than boys. I'm just kinda curious as to how she ended up deciding to go and being able to go though lol.
And oh interesting, no adults are helping them move in? That seems a bit odd. Usually parents help if at all possible. I don't know if I've ever heard of someone actually moving into college without at least one their parents lmao. I'm sure sometimes older siblings or just friends help but I've never met anyone personally who didn't have a parent to help.
Reading sentences like:
Lux said walking up to Tasha who was loaded down with a few boxes and her duffel bag. "Then hurry up and open the door before I fall over." Tasha replied with a slight laugh.
I really wish you had a beta lol. I mean, they are minor issues but you need a comma in between "said" and "walking", "loaded down" sounds a bit awkward to me, and then the dialogue spoken by a new person, Tasha, needs to be a new paragraph - and never a period (.") before "Tasha replied" but always a comma... :P I'd be happy to be your beta for this fic if you want lol, I'm anal about noticing those things when I read fanfiction anyway. And I love the idea of this fic and you're an awesome friend so one way or another I'll be reading this whole fic anyway... ;)
Let me know if you want that.
Back to reading...
oo, Jones is "her boyfriend of the past year and a half"... interesting. ;) Love it btw. I hope they stay together lol!
Another potential typo? "He still hasn't shown, but" - I mean maybe that's what you meant to write but isn't it always "shown up", not just "shown"? And that paragraph - with all 3 of them talking but paragraphs never changing like they're supposed to for dialogue - is really confusing me lol, I need to re-read it in order to figure out who's talking when. :P
Hot chocolate? Chilly? When they're moving into college? What month is this? I'd assume it's super hot and August... I don't care where you are in the country lmao! Boston is insanely hot that time of year, I can't imagine Ohio or Oregon is much cooler... Am I totally missing an important detail?
You probably wanted a comma instead of a period here:
as they started to walk in that direction. Jones holding her hand
"back to the girls dorm"
Probably needs an apostrophe - like "girls'" or "girls's" if you mean Tasha's & Lux's room - and if you mean just a building that's a dorm for only girls, then maybe no apostrophe is fine. But since Jones is in the same building as them... I figure you didn't mean that. However I kinda thought "entire dorm building" when I read "girls dorm", not "dorm room"... idk why. I definitely call my own room a "dorm" sometimes though, no word "room" necessary. ;)
This college sounds so awesome lol, you make me jealous of it. I want to go there with quads and coffee carts and a nice lake... :P
Lol Jones likes "The Princess Bride"? Most guys wouldn't be so into a chick flick but lol I can see Jones not being your average guy.
"figuring out where all there classes were"
You meant "their" not "there"... :P
"the first day of their colleges life" - college should clearly be singular. :P
I might have missed a few things I would've caught if I was your beta lol but hopefully I helped a little.
Sorry if all these corrections are annoying you. Tell me and I'll just read and review and try to ignore things the beta side of my brain tells me for chapters 2 and beyond.
Nice teaser at the end of the chapter for what chapter 2 will bring!
I'm curious to see if Lux and Jones ever have sex in one of their dorm rooms lmao... and what everyone chooses to major in/take classes in... what else will happen. Maybe seeing a love interest for Tasha but from Lux's POV would be cool, or a new friend added to their group. It might be fun to make Jones' roommate a jerk if you don't have an idea for him yet - too much happiness like this group of 3 great friends needs a problem/conflict after all haha... :P Idk. I hope Baze and/or Cate and/or Ryan come into the fic at some point in some form, even if it's just a phone call or something...
I'm really excited to see where this fic goes! It has so much potential and I've never read a college fic before for a show that only took place in high school. So it'll be really unique and fun for me to read.
Your writing overall is really good, I can totally picture everything and the characters seem in-character. :D
Keep up the great work! :D
Oh and btw in your author's note...
"It's all my original ideas, which also means it's going to take me twice as long to update"
Lol I totally feel you! Seriously that's my problem with my current Jess/Lorelai "A Place Called Home" fic - it's like because it's all 100% made up it's so much harder for me to write it... but ultimately people like it more lol. And I'm more proud of it. But still... it's tricky!